“Look! He’s Crying! Beat Him Up!”

One of my best friends was named DN. He was a real sissy-boy as a young boy, crying all the time. So of course all the rest of us boys gleefully beat him up every time he did that. I remember it now in 5th and 6th grade: “Look! He’s crying! Beat him up!” and we would all run over to him and beat him for crying in public like that. We never questioned why a boy who burst into tears all the time needed to get his ass kicked. We just did it.

Of course now I understand that this was simple male socialization, or I should say heterosexual male socialization. Masculinity is to some extent constructed in males. Boys don’t pop into he world as he-men and all boys cry. Most of us pretty much get the tears beaten out of his one way or another. This is how boys become men – it’s a process.

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28 thoughts on ““Look! He’s Crying! Beat Him Up!””

  1. Crying in public is a “no no” for men, but besides that, I don’t really like being told how to behave. I mean would you eat shit if the crowd told you to do so?

    I had a debate on this subject on philosophy forum. Basically, some people were saying public schools sucked cause of all the drama etc.. But I was saying being home-schooled might shelter people from real world kids. However, these people were convinced that schools were full of a caste system, drama, immaturity, fighting, and were terrible for learning.

    But besides a public school or prison, where will you learn to hide your tears?? Where are you going to be challenged emotionally?

  2. To be honest, fighting gained about as much respect as crying where I went to school. It simply lead to more fights, and people still thought you were a pussy. The only I know to gain respect in a school environment would be by developing muscels and participating in sports. Mostly the reason guys are picked on in school is cause they have an “immature” image.

  3. We knew what we were doing and why we were doing it. There was no self-delusion there.

    What were we doing? We were kicking his ass.

    Why were we doing it? Because he was crying, and we hate it when boys cry.

    Now why we hate it when boys cry is another matter. Anyway, you don’t expect a boy to know why he does why he does. After all, they are children. Science informs us that women are actually adults, not children. I know it is hard to believe, but it’s actually proven by science! You really would expect an adult to know what they are doing and why they are doing it, you know? Otherwise, that adult is acting like a child.

    “The woman is always the oldest teenager in the house.”

    1. NO! Children often do not understand a lot of what they do. They are just doing it. They don’t care why they are doing it and they don’t even really care what they are doing. They’re just children. Expecting children to understand what they are doing is insane. Sure, they need to understand it sometimes if punishment is involved, but you can’t expect boys to have the higher philosophical knowledge it takes to understand why they are doing things they are not even being punished for.

      In fact, I just assume boys to not understand what they are doing or why they are doing it, period. That’s why I don’t agree with prosecuting them. I have heard of boys who molested their sisters for years on end as teenagers. I don’t agree with prosecuting them or Duggar as honestly I really do not feel they had any idea what they were doing. I have also heard of young teenage girls who technically molested children (though they didn’t do much) and I got the impression that they really didn’t know what they were doing either.

      Further, there is not a lot of damage when there is sexual contact between one child and another unless it is coerced or forced in some way.

      I have had clients who “molested” children or really just got involved in childhood sex play as teenagers (often 13-15 year old girls) and honestly I felt that they had no idea what they were doing.

      Your idea that children have some sort of agency is truly dangerous and it’s going to result in 13 year old girls going to adult prisons.

      You need to try harder to prove to me how “adult” females have a right to act like teenagers.

    2. Kids don’t understand why they are doing most things they do. Why do you think we don’t hold them to a higher standard as we do for adults. Further, if you say kids know what they are doing, why don’t we just lower the age of consent eh? I mean they know what they are doing huh?

      I’m not even sure young adults really know what they are doing. I have had girlfriends who told me that when they were in college, college girls thought college boys were completely stupid, “like retards” as she put it. She’s probably right. If you look around at a lot of the “adults” you know, it should be obvious that a lot of them of both sexes don’t even understand what they are doing or why they are doing it. In fact, my journey into adulthood has been an endless process of discovering what I am doing and why I am doing it. It never ends. It’s called maturation.

      ADULTHOOD is where you figure out what you do and why you do it. I do not know what to say to “adults” who don’t understand what they do or why they are doing it except to say that apparently they are still teenagers.

    3. Robert, at what age do you think that people’s self awareness develops fully?

      I suspect that not until your mid to late 20’s, do you develop fully (at least to a human standard), the capacity to self relfect on your actions.

      I would say many people don’t bother developing it at all, and therefore many adults are permanenty retarded in this sense.

  4. On one hand bullying makes you tough, but on the other hand, a dark side wants to punish the bullies. For instance, how long would you go in prison before you would kill the bullies, rather than tolerate their “character building”?

    Myself, I’d like to charge harassment charges against at least 3 students at my community college. Is that sissy or weak? I don’t know. Maybe I should just turn the other cheek. However, I hate them so much, that I would actually file harassment for stuff that happened literally 1 or 2 years ago.

    In the view of a lot of people, we just aren’t willing to put up with people’s shit any longer, period, and we want to send a message, like an exploded nuclear weapon.

    The most heroic thing about Christianity, is turning the other cheek. Most people can’t do it.

    1. In fact, my journey into adulthood has been an endless process of discovering what I am doing and why I am doing it. It never ends. It’s called maturation.”

      Yeah, but a lot of girls and boys might end up getting murdered before maturation is complete 😆

  5. Someone has to take a stand and at least file a harassment charge against certain people. Considering the anti-bullying movement so popular now, it might work. I don’t see why anyone has to put up with people’s shit, because they think it’s macho to ignore abuse.

    1. Hey I gotta a new bumpersticker. I don’t put up with people’s shit, cause I don’t work with the elderly. HA HA 😆

      1. Do they call you gay? Why do they call you gay? You’re not effeminate, correct? Are you soft? Are you just non-macho? In the US, if you are not macho or soft, you are going to get called gay about a billion times. It will never end.

        Are you good looking? Are you pretty? JFK was very goodlooking in a pretty way and he said it was deadly. JFK was said being a very good-looking man sort of sucked because everyone is always insisting that you are gay. There’s this idea of extremely handsome man = homosexual. It’s fucking asinine but that’s how people think.

      2. I dont get non-macho. Around here it just means your not some redneck. In black culture, it would mean your not a gang banger. I suppose in Europe it would mean your not a soccer hooligan.

        Anyhow, I’m just being myself. But I don’t like conforming to rules and regulations. I know I’m definitely not soft when somebody is pushing me to the extreme, then I get angry.

        I think a lot of it has to do with a dress code. I don’t feel, besides taking a bath that I owe anybody to act fashionable. I could fit in with rednecks around here, but just it wouldn’t be me, or a I could be some black gangbanger wannabe.

      3. What?! Are you telling me that where you live, if you are not a redneck, then you are a HOMOSEXUAL? Wtf that is so stupid man.

        Seems to be that way. If you want to be cool, you have to be a redneck.

      4. Jason Y, I think you’ve mentioned living in Appalachia right? You know there are more progressive-minded places in the South.

    2. I hate to say it but I am glad we beat him up. We did the right thing. It sounds horrible but it’s true. Also I hate to say it but it was pretty fun to beat him up. It was a blast man!

      1. Beating him up? Why not just insult? Isn’t that a bit extreme? Where I live people will only beat up child molesters and peeping toms.

      2. Well we were just boys. Boys beat each other up all the time. I mean when I was a boy, we were always fighting other boys and beating each other up. I liked it a lot actually. It was really fun! We used to play games like “Smear the Queer” and “Kill the Man on the Hoppityhop.” I loved playing those games. I am so glad I played those games. Especially Smear the Queer, that was one of my favorites. I could play that game forever.

      3. I don’t think all kids are incredibly mean, but a lot of them are. That’s one reason I can’t do well with kids. They don’t like me cause they think I’m no fun, or for reasons, and I really don’t like them.

        If you get on the bad side of kids they crucify you.

      4. I used to get along with kids when I was growing up somewhat, the kind Robert mentioned. But now, after being around the world and grown up, the kids seem like a bunch of little racist homophobic motherfuckers. I hate them, and the feeling is mutual. 😆 They insult me all the time. I had to quit a church cause I can’t deal with their mouth. My guess though, is the parents are the same way.

        it’s amazing how xenophobic and narrow-minded people are here, and it’s not just careless fun or having a good time, it’s very viscous towards anyone who breaks out of this area.

      5. And the community college that’s mostly white? Full of redneck ass males who basically give me the “middle finger” for being an outsider, and lots of bitchy white trash hoes who are similar. Type of women who want to crucify men for any douchebag reason, the biggest one is not being a redneck dumbass.

  6. I dunno, I think we were just boys, age 9-13.

    Boys are EVIL, especially at a certain age.

    Didn’t you know that?

    Boys and girls at that age are equally evil. At least that’s how it was in Korea, my experience in America wasn’t much different either. There are a few that are kind, but a lot of them aren’t. If you get on their bad side, they’ll crucify you. 😆

    1. They have no empathy, They just don’t care. They’ll kick sand in your face and let you rot for the vultures.

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