Are Loners Shy or Misanthropic?

Anon writes:

OH, a final thought: it’s the same way with friendship. A lot of people are loners because they feel like the world is full of terrible people as a result of their experiences, and they become generally misanthropic. But that doesn’t mean they don’t get lonely.

Female myths in bold below. Extrovert myths in italic below. I think a lot of loners are very nice people, often men, but they are just very shy. When they try to talk to people or make friends, people rejected them about a million times, so I figure a lot of them have just given up trying to talk to people or make friends. They think about going over to talk to that girl, remember what happened the last 4,000 times they tried that, figure she’s just going to reject him like all the others, so they just say forget it, “Why should I try if I know I am going to fail?” A lot of these people say they have tried everything they can think of, and they still just get shot down endlessly. I really don’t blame them for just giving up. I probably would too. There are some misanthropic loners out there, but I haven’t met many of them. I can’t remember the last time I met a misanthropic loner. Most of the misanthropes I know are extroverts. A lot of loners are just people who really like to be alone. The other very large group is the super shy, nice guy type who has been rejected 1,000 too many times, and now he’s given up. I think the loner = extrovert thing is largely a myth created by extroverts. That guy’s alone all the time – he obviously hates people! And it’s also a myth created by women – shy, anxious, nerdy, loner, meek = serial killer! It’s completely insane since almost all serial killers are wild extroverts like all psychopaths, but this is the insane way women actually think. I think if people would just give a lot of these “loner” guys a chance, they might be surprised at how friendly, sociable, and even extroverted they can be. And a lot of them are probably pretty good at sex too. Problem is no one wants to take a chance on these guys. If most or many times you go to talk to someone or approach a woman, there is a positive response, the person will continue to try to be friendly or approach women. He sees a woman, thinks about approaching her and figures, well, this often works out pretty well, so I think I will try here.

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6 thoughts on “Are Loners Shy or Misanthropic?”

  1. ‘ A lot of loners are just people who really like to be alone. ‘
    Eyup. I know a few others like me as well. I like people. I just don’t crave their attention. I have as many friends as a person could want or need. Often they are a little perturbed because I don’t reach out as often, like regular people. I’m not shy. I just like to keep to myself a lot. I have had
    a reasonably successful track record wit the wimmins. I do not consider myself misanthropic or a misogynist.
    ‘I think the loner = extrovert thing is largely a myth created by extroverts. That guy’s alone all the time – he obviously hates people!’
    I think that is totally true. It makes them nervous you can be happy in a spot they cannot.

    1. Well one thing is for sure. you will never be alone in the woods. but be careful the largest loner lives there.

  2. I like to stay alone. Talking to people distract me. Often I found people’s statements inaccurate or mundane, and I have to speak in that sort of frequency to be accepted.
    On the other hand, I traveled widely to many places. I have been more than 30 countries. I traveled more than most extrovert. I enjoyed meeting people, and observing cultures.
    I speak a few languages.

  3. Why do you assume I’m an extrovert? I was speaking from personal experience when I was talking about the link between rejection and misanthropy. As a result of bad experiences, I’m rather a loner and don’t like most of humanity all that much.
    Once again, incredibly rude of you to reblog my comment without permission just for ridicule. Don’t think I’ll be commenting on here again, we clearly don’t see eye-to-eye when it comes to how to debate (treat your opponents with respect, whether or not they agree with you).

    1. I think the real problem is you view others as opponents. Like Robert I did view your original comments as if you comments came from a small world with no bigger view. Your recent comments show a more world view with your personal experiences being a small part. And therefore not necessarily accurate. Don’t cut and run. We don’t mind your comments and you can’t be afraid of the truth. Friendships are battle grounds if we consider others as opponents. How do you feel about bigfoot.

      1. Oh yes, I view others as my opponents. That person walking their dog down the street, I see that as my opponent, and the milkman, the postlady, and the paperboy I see as my opponents too. This is why you frequently see me chasing after them all with a wooden plank while shouting my head off. I clearly see every single thing as my opponent, and you obviously know me well enough to be able to come to this reasonable and lucid conclusion about me psychologically. You have, indeed, seen into the very depths of my soul.
        Unfortunately, however, I must cut and RUN because I am AFRAID of the truth and my poor womanly emotions can’t take it. I might just faint in my corset!

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