OH, a final thought: it’s the same way with friendship. A lot of people are loners because they feel like the world is full of terrible people as a result of their experiences, and they become generally misanthropic. But that doesn’t mean they don’t get lonely.
Female myths in bold below.
Extrovert myths in italic below.
I think a lot of loners are very nice people, often men, but they are just very shy. When they try to talk to people or make friends, people rejected them about a million times, so I figure a lot of them have just given up trying to talk to people or make friends. They think about going over to talk to that girl, remember what happened the last 4,000 times they tried that, figure she’s just going to reject him like all the others, so they just say forget it, “Why should I try if I know I am going to fail?” A lot of these people say they have tried everything they can think of, and they still just get shot down endlessly. I really don’t blame them for just giving up. I probably would too.
There are some misanthropic loners out there, but I haven’t met many of them. I can’t remember the last time I met a misanthropic loner. Most of the misanthropes I know are extroverts. A lot of loners are just people who really like to be alone. The other very large group is the super shy, nice guy type who has been rejected 1,000 too many times, and now he’s given up.
I think the loner = extrovert thing is largely a myth created by extroverts. That guy’s alone all the time – he obviously hates people!
And it’s also a myth created by women – shy, anxious, nerdy, loner, meek = serial killer!
It’s completely insane since almost all serial killers are wild extroverts like all psychopaths, but this is the insane way women actually think.
I think if people would just give a lot of these “loner” guys a chance, they might be surprised at how friendly, sociable, and even extroverted they can be. And a lot of them are probably pretty good at sex too. Problem is no one wants to take a chance on these guys.
If most or many times you go to talk to someone or approach a woman, there is a positive response, the person will continue to try to be friendly or approach women. He sees a woman, thinks about approaching her and figures, well, this often works out pretty well, so I think I will try here.