Fathers and Daughters, Mothers and Sons, etc.

Ishmael writes:

Can you expand on your comment on filial piety? Most Asian (Indian and Chinese) people that I’ve known all had this type of utmost respect for their parents, which is admirable I guess, but can be extremely destructive when the kid steps out into the real world compared to kids in the West. Asians are seen as more submissive and are often used in the workplace because they don’t have the ‘balls’ or backbone to stand up to their superiors or promote ideas outside the status quo.
Robert, if you have any opinions or older posts of the effect of filial piety and its effects on children, please let me know because I’m curious. For most Westerners, that breaking out phase from their parents in their teen years was very important to their independence and personal happiness.

Well it has long been a tradition for teenagers to rebel. The Romans wrote about it. The teenage boy often needs to rebel against his father. He differentiates himself from his father and thereby individuates himself. It is a nearly necessary process, but it is often painful for both parties. The boy is quite mean to his father and argues with him a lot. This is painful for the father. Also the father is often very cruel and mean to the teenage boy, and many boys never forget that.
In addition, the boy’s rebellion is often senseless and even the father who tries best to get along with his teenage son finds his son fighting perversely against him for seemingly no reason. So this is a painful and rather stupid phase for the son because he is fighting his best friend in life and he often severs the most important male role model he will ever know. While this father-son warfare is going on, the mother often sides with the son and accuses the father of being mean and cruel to the son. I remember my father always accusing me of hiding behind my mother’s skirt during our regular fights.
In the old days, a man rebelled against his father around late teens or so, and they often came to blows, as in there was a fistfight of some sort. I had a few punch-outs with my Dad and there were physical altercations between him and my other siblings too.
In the old days, after this crucial fistfight, they young man would storm off to make his way in the world on his own and leave the family home to become a real man once and for all. He would go out into the world and typically sooner or later, he would find himself a woman, settle down to marry her and raise his own family, becoming a father himself. So he then turns into the man he punched out at age 18. Now that the son has his own family and is a father and husband himself, the son often came back to the family home, introduced them to his family, and he and the father made amends and often become good friends again.
I know grown men hate their fathers to this very day. When we were growing up, it was said that if you hated your father, you would turn gay because hating your Dad turned you into a queer. This was psychoanalytic bullshit. The truth is that surveys show that 37% of all males hate or dislike their fathers. Obviously the vast majority of them are heterosexual.
It is not that hating your father makes you gay. While growing up, the pre-homosexual boy acts feminine to effeminate and rejects masculinity, boyhood and manhood. His father tends to value masculinity and wants to raise a masculine son in his own image. His queery son is very disturbing and upsetting to the father, maybe makes him question his own masculinity and certainly makes him think he failed as a father (My son is a fag!) The father is often very cruel to the son and accuses of him of being a sissy, a pussy, a girl, etc. This is why pre-gay and gay sons fight with their fathers and have horrible relationships with them. So the homosexual scenario causes the father hatred and not the other way around.
The worst that can happen to you if you hate your Dad is you might turn into a criminal. Absent or lousy fathers sometimes create criminal sons. We see this when single Moms tend to raise criminal sons because there is no father in the house. If you go to a prison, every guy in there has “Mom” tattooed in his arm. If you say any crap about his Mom, most of them will shank you in a Manhattan minute. You never criticize a biker/redneck/tough guy/jailbird’s Mom. Actually you are not supposed to even put down his family period or he might hit you.
But people who go into prisons say that although most of the men in there love Mom, nearly all of them hate their fathers, and many say they want to kill their Dads. When these hardass guys get out of prison, often the first place they go back to is back to Mom’s place. This is because a Mom will tolerate a lot more from a son than a father will.
A father will often renounce all contact with a criminal son and just write him out of his life as a failure. But to the mother, he is still “my boy.” Even serial killers sometimes have loyal mothers who stand by them to the end. This is because the relationship between a mother and a son is a very tight one, and a son often has to be pretty evil for his own Mom to hate him. If a grown man is hated by his own Mom, he is often a pretty bad fellow.
Daughters also have an intense relationship with their fathers. An absent or hostile father, while creating a criminal son, may create a daughter who is a “whore” or a “slut.” The boys turn into criminals and the girls turn into whores. It is quite common for a girl/woman with no father to become quite promiscuous with all that that entails. It appears she is trying to “screw her way to Daddy,” or “screw her way to the father’s love that she never obtained.
It is not good for a girl to hate her father, just as it is bad for a son to hate his mother. Sons who hate their mothers often, but not always have problems with women when they grow up. After all, a man’s first and most important relationship is with his mother. Try as he might, he will still tend to see his mother in every woman he meets, including his wives and girlfriends. If he hates his Mom, he might hate them too. Serial killers who kill women often hate their mothers, and in some cases, they even killed their mothers. You hate your mother, you hate women.
By the same token, a woman who hates her father may tend to have problems with men in her life. If she hates her father, she hates men. She may also identify with a brutal father. If the father beat the mother, the girl grows up identifying with the wife-beating Dad. She will seek out brutal men who will beat her, and she will unconsciously desire to get beaten up just like her Mom was because she thinks she deserves it.
Many adult women hate their mothers just as many adult men hate their fathers. As father hatred is relatively normal and harmless for a man, many women who hate their mothers are often quite healthy psychologically. Often during the teen years, while the son is fighting with the father, the daughter is fighting like crazy with the mother. This may be because the daughter is trying to individuate herself from the mother.
The hatred for the same sex parent causes extreme individuation and this person often resolves to be as independent and adult as possible, which is a good thing in the West.
During the teen years, the girl’s budding sexuality becomes an issue. The father feels it is his duty to police the daughter’s sexuality and in a sense guard her virginity or chastity from other roving and competing males. The mother is often sympathetic to the girl’s blossoming womanhood, and if the girl starts having sex, the mother is very understanding and provides her with contraceptives such a birth control pills. The mother understands. After all, she was a horny as Hell teenage girl once herself.

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18 thoughts on “Fathers and Daughters, Mothers and Sons, etc.”

  1. I never rebelled against my father. I always liked him and got on well with him. It would be hard not to like my dad. When I was 18 years old, he was still much stronger than me anyway. He could probably still beat me in an arm wrestle and he is 54.

  2. I am a southern Chinese. Our culture inculcate us to be respectful and submissive to parents. The Chinese grew up in an oppressive family, but very few of us fight. Even we did, we keep quiet and this is nothing to be proud of.
    Fighting with parents lowers one’s standing in the eye of relatives and siblings. Generally only rascal in our society fight with parents. Once I have shove my father with support of my mother. But that is an embarrassment.
    I think Chinese culture traded stability for creativity while western rebellion style promotes creativity.
    I think all yellow people behave similarly. Very often we cannot understand how come white man can dump their old parents leaving them alone (I start to understand after I get more contact with white man). To us, it is a big sin. Most Chinese parents prefer to live with eldest son.
    Also many Chinese found puzzling that why would a parent kick out their sons after 18 years old. Chinese parent would support them until college. Later I began to understand that Chinese parent motive is not 100% good. Children is a social security for Chinese parent. In yellow land, government give not social security. So children bail out old parents. In white man land, because of social security, so parent kick their children out at 18 years old not afraid of consequences.
    Since we are social security for our parents, Chinese would pay all college expenses for their children. Then children are expected to give part of their income to parents.
    There is good and bad in this arrangement but this indeed lower the crime rate of our society. Our kids are indeed more successful.

    1. I think the cause of rebellion goes deeper than social security. It’s been in Western culture (primarily N.European) to have a rift with the parents for a few years to set yourself up.
      Asian students are indeed doing very well here in the west, many are engineers and doctors as the stereotype goes, but its rare to see them in managerial positions and are often that skilled worker bee that does his job extremely well, works 12 hours a day, doesn’t talk to his co-workers and goes home. The submissive attitude sticks with them, even past 2 or 3 generations.
      However, Asian kids are NOT more successful, unless you want to use SAT scores as a precursor to success. A culture of rote memorization, probably coming from a history of memorizing Confucian texts for the big state exams (talking about the old days), is probably the reason why they have no creativity and have to steal innovations from American companies to expand their businesses.

      1. geez, asians may copy many times, but not always; they have to steal sometimes (like Samsung maybe) or most of the time but not always; in 1999 Honda released the two-door Insight, the first hybrid car to hit the mass market in the United States, the Insight won numerous awards and received EPA mileage ratings of 61 mpg city and 70 mpg highway…and the Nintendo Wii was conceived in 2001, According to an interview with Nintendo game designer Shigeru Miyamoto, the concept involved focusing on a new form of player interaction ,the system was also chosen as 1 of PC World magazine’s 20 Most Innovative Products and 3th example is Japanese animation studios were pioneers of many limited animation techniques

      2. If you’re getting robbed by uncreative people you’re pretty fucking stupid, somewhere between shitslime and maggots. If that’s where you want to place your race in the hierarchy of being then by all means, go ahead.

        1. Look man, I am going to have to ban you Huax. You just way too disruptive. You really just come here to troll the site, and you have scared off and turned off way too many commenters. Many commenters say they are not posting here anymore in part due to people like you.
          So I have to say farewell now.

      3. “they have no creativity and have to steal innovations from American companies”
        I don’t know if is a Mongoloid race thing, but in Latin America we see that in the entertainment industry, Mexico is oficially Mestizo, however it is proved that is mostly an Amerindian country (is at least 55% Amerindian in genes) ,some Mexican Telenovelas were successful decades ago, and they were written in fact, by White people, later, in the last years, Mexicans are well know as copy cats, because they steal plots from countries like Argentina and Colombia ,which are more creative, Argentina is White without a doubt, and Colombia is oficially Mestizo, but the predominant race is Caucasian at 45%, Mexico copy Telenovelas like “Betty la fea” from Colombia and “Rebelde Way” from Argentina,and do remake after remake of both Telenovelas from Caucasian countries or from old Mexican Telenovelas written by White living in Mexico, Mexicans are well know as copy cats and overacted in Telenovelas.

  3. Thanks for taking the time to write this. Learned a lot. I was close with my Mom (passed away a couple years ago, unfortunately) but quite distant with my Dad until I got married and had my own job. For my personal development, I really needed to break free from my Dad because he was overly controlling and felt threatened if I ‘manned up’ and had independence from his financial and emotional bonds. He may be narcissistic, but I don’t have the knowledge to label people as such.
    One thing though, if all teenagers rebel, why are Indian and Chinese sons and daughters still so obedient to their families? It can become extreme, to the point of Dad/Mom picking their college major to choosing a wife. I would have hated that, but I grew up in an American culture and the ‘pioneer’, DIY attitude.
    Is it simply a difference in individualist vs. collectivist cultures? What good and bad effects are there if children don’t break free and continue to allow their parents to step all over them and control their life. Like I said earlier, too much submission to your parents just opens the gates and allows more…’alpha’ guys to step all over them in the real world.

    1. I agree 100% with you. I am susceptible to be trample by alpha guys/girls. Many of them are plain stupid, but they have an aura who make everyone around afraid of them.
      Alpha do not have logic and insecure and they are full of lies. I have once tried emulate their behavior and I saw fear among the eyes of my colleague. When I go back home at night, there is a feeling of bad energy.
      Then I decide, fxxk it, lets live a honest life.

          1. Looks like Huax got his wish. After I banned him, he graciously said, “Fair enough Robert. But all I ask you is that you if are going to ban me, please ban that evil sandnigger Xera too. He is too much. That is only fair.
            Well, Huax got his wish. Xera is banned, and two of the worst trolls on the blog have been banned.

        1. Chinese has to introspect why the whole man like to work for US MNC especially places like “google”. These places indeed have better culture.
          The people in China company is like a bunch of wolves and worst, is companies run by Indian. Indian boss may drives you into schizophrenia.

        2. Look I worked with second generation Asians that spoke perfect English, NOT fresh off the boat, and had the best technical skill being pushed to the side when it came to promotions. Euro-Whites aside, I have seen cases when Iranians, Latinos and even an African American getting promoted over Chinese, Korean and to a lesser extent, Indian engineers. Despite the latter groups better technical skill. NOT a race issue.

        3. from Veritas’s blog: “When we recently spoke to an ex-Dartmouth College admissions officer, he admitted that East Asians can be at a disadvantage: “When reading recommendations you see these words—”diligent,” “hardworking”—because people tend to see East Asians in a certain way. You rarely see “CREATIVE” or “STRONG INTELLECTUAL BENT,” and they are less likely to be seen as “FREETHINKING.” Same with issues of character. [CHEAT]A lot of secondary teachers find it difficult to connect culturally with Asian Americans and the type of things they end up doing, so they won’t see as much talk about character. But at Dartmouth there was not much discrimination against Asian Americans, since they were considered a historical minority at the school.”ROBOTS.
          = I agree yellow has less creativity. That is due to our culture and also a professor has put forward that Chinese empire decimate the most agressive people.These people are often creative people
          …again the same image and stereotype! i agree its truth to a degree, but do they really lack knowlodge of Honda, Nintendo and Anime!? ,for a very non innovative culture, the japanese have innovated kinda!

  4. I really can’t stand any of my parents espcially my father. I think both my parents and my siblings know i am kinda racist to both my parents races, but my hate for them hasn’t ruined my life.

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