Me Versus the Pigs

I think I committed a crime tonight, or was a conspirator to one.
Oh, no, that brings on the Cops Project. Last time I was in Cop Land, I got thrown against a wall and got my head banged into the car roof and got the cuffs twisted on my wrists in a failed attempt to cause wrist damage for a lifetime.
The cop stood over me, and threatened to grind my brains into the pavement. It was a pleasant moment, to be threatened with murder by a cop with your hands cuffed. If only he would try it, then I might have died and you would not be reading this.
Oh God, cops love to fight.
I’ve been arrested two whole times in my life and both times I was a Goddamn psycho. Once I screamed as I was being bailed out, “FUCK YOU!” with acrobatics, while the people who bailed me screamed at me to shut up. And I didn’t even get re-arrested. That shows we have an incredible amount of civil rights in this country.
In the one jail, it was entertaining. There were these guys, White guys, wasted out of their minds and in jail, of all possible places. It was at the beach, where I always lived and hung, of course.
“Whaooooooooo! Fuck you fuck you fuck you! Fuck you fuck you fuck you! Fuck you fuck you fuck you! Fuck you fuck you fuck you! Fuck you fuck you fuck you! Fuck you fuck you fuck you! Fuck you fuck you fuck you! Fuck you fuck you fuck you! Fuck you fuck you fuck you! Fuck you fuck you fuck you! Fuck you fuck you fuck you! Fuck you fuck you fuck you!”
It was a song, you had it admit. They sung it to a tune. The jailers would come by once in a while and order them to shut up, and then the band would start again.
No one sympathized with me. I told everyone I knew that I got arrested two times for starting fights with cops who bugged me, and everyone agreed that I deserved to get popped and that I was an insane and stupid scum of the Earth moron.
Actually, I thought it was a glorious act of defiance.
The cop knocked on the door of the car. I looked out the window and the cop was there. I knocked the cherry off the joint, made sure it was dead, and swallowed away, no problems. Most everyone to this day insists I was insane for doing that. It was smart, I swallowed the jay, and the evidence was gone, haha piggers good one huh?
There is another crime called destruction of evidence. I had never learned that, but it was pure theater anyway.
I spit at the shoes of the cops that towered above as I sat. I spat right between their shoes and missed and missed. I was informed that if the spit hit the shoes, I was going to die. That made it even more fun.
The Get Arrested Project worked, twice in a row, and now my whole world hated me. It was supposed to be a joke, but now I had a criminal record.

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0 thoughts on “Me Versus the Pigs”

  1. Of course you and the po-po no gonna get along. You are completely out of the box in every sense of the word and typically law enforcement is a ‘ by the books’ mentality.
    I had family that wuz da fuzz. I also went for some ride alongs in Pasadena.
    Nothing about it interested me as a career. Truth is it becomes a lifestyle. Nobody wants to hang with you, cuz, now y’all got standards and an ‘everyone is guilty until proven innocent’ mindset. It does horrific number on the average joe’s personality. Especially when they’re young.
    Most of them drink alot and the divorce rate is high- not mention spousal abuse…. it’s just a shamefull cult of violence and poor behavior.
    You get to see people at their worst and when they want to see you least. It messes w/ yur beebee. There’s far more rewarding careers, financially and emotionally.
    In actuality yeah, We DO need to be ‘policed’ , I just the feel the system we got now is a failure.
    So yeah, pigs suck. Except that really hot black chick cop that let me go for flying through a stop sign. She rocked.

    1. I still really don’t like them. I try to be nice to them now, but they always act like they either hate me or they don’t like me for some reason. Also, they often act like they are suspicious of me, like they think I am a criminal, and I hate that. There is just no getting along with cops, I am afraid. I don’t understand anyone who gets along with them, because they have acted like they hated me for many years now.

      1. Yeah, I have a plan for dealing with the man. I call it the yes sir , no sir , three bags full sir , policy. I will tell them whatever I need to get rid of them as quick as possible. I don’t rile them up and get out their grasp asap.

  2. I had a good pal while in elementary school who moved away and later became a cop. I met up with he and some other childhood friends for a weekend of golf and adult beverages. Turns out the cop was a completely self centered DICK. No fun. Everyone else argued over who was gonna share a cart with him. I have never heard from him again. A buddy wondered what he and his wife did for fun. I said Wed. nights were saved for practicing handcuffing techniques. Asshole!

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