Are Straight Men Paranoid of Gay Men? Yes

Straight men to tell the truth do not like gay men at all, not one bit. Not that I blame them. It’s completely understandable. After all, being straight, and in particular being masculine, is in part all about a negation of the feminine, the effeminate and by extension the homoerotic and the homosexual. So the gay man represents everything that the straight man has been fighting like mad his whole not to be. He’s the “anti-you.”
So most straight guys are extremely concerned about who is gay and who is not to the point where they are always worrying and prying about here and there wondering about whether so and so or such and such straight guy is really secretly gay. Which in general is an utterly idiotic and preposterous line of inquiry.
On the other hand, I’ve never cared. I never thought homosexuality or bisexuality was a bad thing in a guy, so I never worried too much about whether some guy was set up that way. That led to a lot of idiotic naivete on my part and endless run-ins with gay and bi men.
So it follows that most straight guys are outrageous homophobes, and there’s probably not a lot we can do about that.
I used to have some odd experiences. I had a number of male friends in my life that for whatever reason, a lot of folks kept insisting were gay.
One was DN. DN was a great friend of mine for quite a few years, and we had some great times together running all over LA and Orange County drinking, smoking weed and chasing women. DN also got more pussy than most guys will in 20 lifetimes. That was his main selling point to me, so I always shook my head and laughed whenever I heard all these “FAG!” comments.
The problem was that DN had been a real pussy when he was a boy. We made a pun on his name that had “fag” in it. When he was about 10, he was a very sensitive boy. He was always bursting into tears for this or that reason.
As we were in the forge of boyhood, being cast into men by hot fire, we had to stop that. It went around among the boys: “He cries like a girl. Beat him up! Every time he cries, beat him up!” So every time he burst into tears, the boys all jumped on him and beat the crap out of him. I gladly joined in. Turns out we beat him into some kind of a man in some way or another.
As he grew to be a young man, he got a lot more masculine, but people I grew up always remembered what a pussy boy he was and always insisted that he was a “fag” based on his crybaby behavior as a young boy.
Since he was a big pussy as a young boy, that means he was going to be a faggot for the rest of his life. Now that’s some scientific thinking!
I knew DN very well as a young man, and realized that he was no longer the pussyboy he was as a boy. I was hanging around with him all the time, and my friends kept hissing at me that he was a FAG. It was often implied by family members that I was obviously a FAG too since I was hanging out with DN.
Apparently there was no other way to hang out with DN without sucking his cock! That’s funny because DN and I and had a universe of fun together and I never sucked his cock a single time. I never even thought about it. I never did anything remotely gay with the guy. Why would I?
It did turn out later that at age 22, DN got into bisexuality, something he had always told me he would never do. A particularly vicious, slimy and extremely typical queer basically blackmailed him into it, just like most of them will if you give them the chance. Do queers prey on, sexually harass, blackmail and recruit good-looking young straight men? Yes, in epidemic numbers.
Soon after, I pretty much had to end my friendship with the guy because he was so deep into that scene. Once one of your friends goes deep into guy sex, the friendship is basically over, and you’re not going to be able to hang around with him anymore for a ton of reasons.
I had some other friends who people, especially a particularly viciously insane homophobic family member, kept insisting were FAGS. I never did anything remotely gay with any of these guys, and as a general rule, they never tried anything with me.
With all these guys, we had spent a ton of time together having a blast, and none of them had given off the remotest queer vibes or done anything remotely gay towards me, so I wasn’t worried about their sexuality. All that was important was how they acted when they were around me.
I suppose if they wanted to be cool around me and then sneak around and suck cocks behind my back, I wouldn’t even care. Why would I? As long as he leaves me alone and keeps quiet about his queery adventures, why should I give it a minute of thought? Anyway, if you’re hanging around with a guy, and he’s leaving you alone, bottom line is he can’t possibly be gay or bi.
The only reason a person could possibly care if someone is gay or not is if they are homophobic. If this is an important question to you, you’re a homophobe. Period.
I have had guys would go hang out with me or go out with me at night somewhere. Some of these guys were married. They would always be trying to get away from me and get distant from me, and it seemed like they were trying to put a lot of space between me and them when others were watching. It’s like they were saying, “Hey, I don’t want you to think Bob is my boyfriend!” It was pretty annoying.
But anyway, guys are simply retarded. Any straight guy who spends any amount of time around me at all should be able to quickly tell that I am not gay or bi or anything like that. Because almost 100% of significantly bi or gay men will make that queer I mean clear to you extremely quickly as soon as they become close to you in any way whatsoever.
They communicate, “I have a homoerotic orientation. You turn me on. I want to fuck you.” There’s no way you’re ever going to have some friend you’ve been hanging around with forever who you are suddenly shocked to find out is secretly gay and sucking cocks on the sly. The very idea is insane.
But most men are totally retarded on that subject.

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39 thoughts on “Are Straight Men Paranoid of Gay Men? Yes”

  1. Most gay guys are cool. They are a little aloof because they never learned to build serious, stable relationships as young adults.
    I do hate fag hags. Usually fag bags are fat, repulsive women who can never get straight action.

    1. I don’t know. I don’t have anything to do with any gay guys in any way whatsoever. Bottom line is any gay guy I meet more or less acts like he wants to fuck me. That right there means I need to get the Hell away from him as fast as I can. It’s not really possible to have any kind of relationship with these guys if you ask me.
      I have a weird relationship with fag hags because they’re always trying to fuck me! And that sort of makes me uptight right there. A fag hag!? Why does she want to be my girlfriend?! Huh?! What does that say about me?

      1. Dr. Robert Lindsay, I believe it’s right to be homophobic because as you know, I believe that gay/lesbian sexual behaviors are comparable to drug junkyism & that we must look for cure for gay/lesbian sexual behaviors & abolish sex change mutilations as transexuals are worse.
        With gay/lesbian behaviors, if the gays/lesbians don’t bother others with it, then it’s 1 thing. But many gays harass others. What I’ll say with ’gay bashings’ is that if a homo is going to commit a crime such as grab a man’s butt or groin against will (assault & battery) or if a gay is going to repeatedly propose to a man after the man has said no after which in either case the man reacts violently by bashing or killing the queer, the man reacted to a crime the gay did. Most gay bashings I’ve found are men reacting to crimes the gay did. A jury must decide if man’s reaction is justified or excess & if it’s excess than what degree it is.
        Problem with ’gay bashing’ cases, is that gay/lesbian groups often side with gays no matter what the gay does which explains why ‘homophobia’ often happens. 1 case is Harvey B. Milk the SF Council Member killed in 1978 by DJ White with the 1979 Twinkie Defense. Harvey B. Milk has since gotten ’queero worship’ by gay groups with California public schools honoring him. But Harvey Bernard Milk committed homosexual statutory rape on a 16 year old boy in 1964 for which the California legal system didn’t prosecute him for and Harvey B. Milk in 1978 should‘ve been a convicted felon. The man who killed Harvey B. Milk was DJ White & DJ White was a Vietnam War Sergeant, ex SF cop/fireman who once saved the life of a woman and baby from a burning building. DJ White was of good character. In 1978, DJ White shot and killed both Harvey B. Milk and SF Mayor George Moscone. Mayor George Moscone used to be a public defender . DJ White when he was a cop arrested and helped send to prison those who committed serious crimes while Mayor Moscone was trying to help them get free.
        During DJ White’s 1979 trial, his defense lawyer argued ‘Junk Food Syndrome’ also Twinkie Defense and DJ White was convicted of Manslaughter by jury rather than Murder 1. DJ White was paroled in 1984 and committed suicide in 1985.
        With Harvey B. Milk, I have no sympathy for Harvey B. Milk because the law didn’t punish him for what he did. Both Harvey Bernard Milk and Matthew or as I call him METHEW Wayne Shepard have become 2 icons for gay groups but both mistreated others. With Harvey B. Milk gay/lesbian groups such as Laramie Project, Shepard Foundation’s Executive President Jason Marsden (Fartsden) and Journalist Tiffany Edwards Hunt of Big Island Chronicle see nothing wrong with Harvey B. Milk committing homosexual statutory rape on a 16 year old boy and there’s a holiday after him in California.
        Not pleading the case of the 2 who killed Shepard in October 1998 as 1 of the killers A.J. McKinney was a drug dealer, robber who got into a fight with 2 men not long after killing Shepard and the 2nd man R.A. Henderson was a drunk driver and drug dealer. But Methew Wayne Shepard a drug junky who mixed Ecstasy with antidepressants. Before that October 1998 day, Methew Wayne Shepard was regarded by many including friends as moody, obnoxious and selfish. Metthew Wayne Shepard even rudely cut in line in front of handciapped while shopping. Other news is that Methew Wayne Shepard chose Univeristy of Wyoming out of all colleges but then insulted the college and Laramie. In August 1998, 2 months before his killing Methew Wayne Shepard falsely accused a man of a crime-homosexual gang rape which was disproven by medical tests because nothing had happened. Excuses made by Shepard’s friends and family is his depression, PTSD, etc. Truth is before Metthew Wayne Shepard was killed he was viewed as obnoxious, moody and selfish but after he has killed by 2 men, then he got hero or queero worship though Methew Wayne Shepard was a drug junky who mistreated others including falsely accusing some1.
        My point Dr. Robert Lindsay, is that it’s good to be homophobic. This is especially true given that gay/lesbian groups push ‘hero or queero worship’ of gay bashing victims Harvey B. Milk & METHEW Wayne Shepard. Now if gay/lesbian groups want to honor them, it’s their right. But when gay/lesbian groups demand public schools honor homosexual statutory rapist Harvey B. Milk and METHEW Wayne Shepard, then there’s something wrong. If you can think of anything then please share because I’ve found many gay bashings happen after a gay has harassed a man such as in a public restroom & much of the homophobia happens because gay/lesbian groups push their views of Harvey B. Milk & Methew Wayne Shepard on others.

        1. Snowisfun? That’s a pretty gay sounding name boy, is there anything you’re not telling us?
          You think it’s ok to kill a gay man for coming onto you? Grow up, accept the compliment and move on. If he’s aggressive, knock him out or call the police,which ever you’re more comfortable with.
          And what’s all the shite about Harvey Milk and queero worshiping, why does that justify homophobia? You don;t make any sense.

        2. Bergunn, I happen to be straight. But it’s not so easy. If a homosexual is going to ask others for sex in a public restroom or repeatedly propose after the man has said no, then that’s criminal harassment. A man has a right to use any reasonable force to defend himself. As to is it self-defense if a man kills a gay after a gay harassed him in the bathroom-it can be if the defense can put a credible case the gay was trying to do something more violent. If the gay has a violent history or is high on drugs, then a case can be made that the man was defending himself from something more violent. It’s possible for a gay to be harassing a man 1 minute & then another minute trying to do something more violent because he didn’t get what he wanted-these situations are unpredictable.
          I knew a gay bashing case many years ago. What had happened Bergunn was that an 18 year old boy had been in a park with friends. A gay who was much bigger than him grabbed the man’s butt & made a sex comment. The man then told his 2 friends ‘that fag grabbed my ass.’ After this happened, the 2 men grabbed the gay who brought him to the man who then hit the gay several times in the face. Bergunn, that ‘gay bashing’ victim committed a crime-assault&battery & man reacted by bashing him. Though you call it ‘coming on’ that’s a mild word for harassment, sex abuse, assault & battery. I don’t want homos harassing other men & I don’t want gays committing assault & battery. This will offend you but I’d rather have a case where a man bashes or even kills a gay after the gay committed a crime such as harassment, assault&battery & then have the jury decide if the man was justified or excessive vs. the man doesn’t do enough & the gay does something worse. Even if nothing further happens to the man, if the homosexual gets the idea that he can get away with harassing another man in then he may get the idea he can get away with something worse.
          I don’t know Bergunn if you’re gay but if you’re implying that the 18 year old man should’ve tolerated the gay committing assault & battery, then you’re wrong. I wouldn’t be surprised if the gay in that case had attacked weaker men before until that day when he got beaten up by some1 who wouldn’t toelrate his abuse. With Harvey B. Milk, if you can’t see anything wrong with Harvey B. Milk committing homosexual statutory rape on a teenage boy, then there’s something wrong.

        3. @sif,
          I have a few problems with what you’re saying, firstly, you seem to think that gays are aggressive predators just waiting for the chance to attack young men. Which is not true. It also says to me you don’t know any gay people so easily get swept up in these reactionary fears. Secondly, because you have these vague fears you’re willing to sanction pre-emptive violence against gays, just in case. To teach them a lesson. Thirdly, the two cases you mention, while both gay men may have been in the wrong, to legalise violent homophobia and street vendettas against gays because of two trivial cases is madness.

        4. Merry Christmas 2012 Bergunn. Bergunn-it is criminal not trivial-grabbing a person’s butt or groin against will is @ least minimum misdemeanor assault & battery if the intent isn’t sexual but it could be something more serious such as felony sex abuse or even attempted homosexual rape if the intent is sexual. & again Bergunn, harassment, assault & battery might not be the only crime intended. If the homosexual is high on drugs or has a violent history, then yes, a case can be made that a man who kills a gay after the gay pinched the man’s butt or groin against will was defending himself from something more violent the gay was trying to do such as homosexual rape because these situations are unpredictable. If the gay is high on cocaine or Meth, it’s unpredictable what he will do next. A good defense lawyer who is defending a gay basher would try to subpoena the gay’s medical & criminal records to see if the gay has a drug history, violent crime history, psychological reports & so on.
          Bergunn, many gays are predatory with worst cases such as Jerry Sandusky. Gay/lesbian sexual behaviors are comparable to drug junkyism. There are gays who commit indecent exposure such as in parks & then complain when the man reacts by bashing them. If you’re saying Bergunn that if a gay exposes himself to others, the man should tolerate this, that’s wrong. In Manhattan Beach California, there was a case where 18 gays were arrested for sex in beach restrooms. Predictably, gay/lesbian groups took the side of the 18 queers arrested. It wouldn’t surprise me Bergunn if some of the 18 gays arrested have even committed homosexual rape on others in the bathroom which went unreported to the police. So Bergunn, gay bashing cases are not so easy & simple. I am against starting fights but if a gay is going to be antisocial such as if a gay is going to commit indecent exposure, harassment & or commit assault & battery, then a man should have a right to use any reasonable force to stop the gay including kill the gay if that’s what has to be done to stop the gay. What reasonable or excess force is has to be judged individually as each case is different & is often a jury topic after hearing both the prosecutor & defense lawyer.

        5. 1 more thing Brengunn (Merry Christmas 2012 again) as it doesn’t seem you fully understood me. While I see something wrong with gay/lesbian sexual behaviors, if a gay is minding his business & not committing harassment, assault & battery, then yes leave him alone. Let’s say if a gay proposes to a man in a private party. The right thing for the man to do is say no thanks and leave. But if the gay repeatedly proposes after the man has said no, then the gay is committing harassment. & again, if a gay proposes to a man in a public restroom, that is criminal harassment as the bathroom is the place to use the toilet & wash up.
          I’m a non-violent person and am against starting fights.
          But if a gay is going to be antisocial and commit harassment, assault & battery, then a man should have a right to use reasonable force to stop the gay. What reasonable force is has to be judged individually as each case is different. Brengunn, gay bashing cases are not easy and simple and must be judged like any assault & battery or homicide case. What happens is that the police & prosecutors review a case. If the prosecution thinks they can win, then they either offer the gay basher a pleabargain or if the gay basher rejects the pleabargain, they go to trial & have the jury decide and if the jury decides the gay basher used excessive force, then what degree to convict on. If prosecutor doesn’t think they can win, then they dismiss the case against the gay basher or if the jury decides the gay basher used reasonable force, then he is acquitted. Each case Brengunn is different and a defense lawyer’s job is to give the gay bavsher the best representation whether he used reasonable or excess force

      2. 1 thing to add-if a man were to repeatedly propose to a woman after she said no & or if a man were to grab a woman’s butt or boobs against her will, he would be in jail for assault&battery to something more serious such as sex abuse. If the man got his butt kicked by the woman’s husband or boyfriend, many wouldn’t sympathize with the man.
        So with my post on gay bashings, if a gay is going to repeatedly propose to a man after the man said no, if the gay is going to harass a man in a public bathroom or if a gay is going to commit assault & battery by grabbing a man’s butt or groin against will, then if in any of these situations the man reacts by bashing or killing the gay, then the truth is that the man reacted to crimes the gays did. There are many gays who have antisocial personalities in harassing straight men & then complain because the straight men bashed them. In 2008, there was a case in Calif. where a kid shot another kid Lawrence Fobes King in the classroom. What happened in that case was Lawrence Fobes King had harassed other boys such as Lawrence Fobes King masturbated in front of others & asked other boys for sex in the bathroom. When complaints were made, the lesbian VP Joy Epstein refused to expel Lawrence King. 1 boy who had enough of Lawrence Fobes King’s harassment shot & killed Lawrence King in class. Jury came back 7 to 5 for Manslaughter & the case has since been pleabargained. I agree that it was Manslaughter. Dr. Robert Lindsay, gay/lesbian groups saw nothing wrong with Lawrence Fobes King’s antisocial conduct. I’m a peaceful person & am nonviolent. But if a homosexual is going to be antisocial & do what Lawrence Fobes King did, then there’s no reason for straight men to tolerate this.

      3. If that’s your pic on the profile then I must say I would die alone than touching you in my wildest dream.. sorry man you are way below being any gay’s attraction or interest ..

    2. Not really. I had a fag hag girlfriend once and she was a total slut, I mean an extreme slut. She was into gangbangs, women and all sorts of insane stuff. Plus she was way perverted, a hardcore masochist.
      There was another fag hag girlfriend, and she was very beautiful.

      1. Gay dudes have only hit on me 3 or 4 times in my life. I’m not very gay sexy (or any sexy, for that matter). They rarely ask directly. They usually try to arrange a “meeting” under the auspices of something unrelated to sex…and it’s up to you at that point to say no or to accept that ass fucking.

        1. Haven’t you ever just had them act flirty or seductive like that without a direct “let’s fuck” come on? That’s happened to me like a million times.
          Haven’t you ever been to Hollywood? I mean, I used to hang around Hollywood all the time, there were queers following me around, staring at me, flirting at me, checking me out and even whistling at me everywhere I went. It was really annoying! I mean they would not leave me the fuck alone. After a while, I started putting up the biggest male Bitch Shield you ever saw just to try to keep them the fuck away from me. I guess I know how women feel now.
          I think the worst of it is I was always wondering why they were checking me out. I was always thinking, “Do think I’m gay? Is that why they’re looking at me?” I never figured out a good answer to that question. Do they check out all guys? Or just all hot guys? Or do they only check out guys they think are gay?

        2. After a while, I started putting up the biggest male Bitch Shield you ever saw just to try to keep them the fuck away from me. I guess I know how women feel now.”
          Lmao. Male bitch shield. Hey Robert just close your eyes and call him Suzie. How do you explain prison ‘opportunist homosexuality’? I wonder if that explains high rates of black hiv.

        3. Opportunistic male homosexuality is *epidemic* among straight males aged say late teens through 30 or so. After that, it plunges pretty dramatically. Most of those guys are simply straight. But if there’s no women around, a lot of horny, hard up, sexually frustrated guys will fuck anything, and I do mean anything. That includes other guys. I’ve seen enough of this shit with my own eyes to fill a novel.

      2. Dr. Robert Lindsay, that again depends on what you define as straight & gay. Sexual orientation again is minor topic as I use sexual behavior, straight, gay or lesbian to define. But with prison homosexuality, most men & women in prison have libido loss. They have found that POW, war veterans & people in prison have lower libidos than those in normal population. But it’s not interesting to talk about lower libidos but the homosexuality. & most of the prison homosexuality are prison rapes, so it’s wrong to define a erson who is forced to do something as an opportunist. Most straight people would not do anal sex as most men wouldn’t want a woman to fart & shit on him and only a dirty woman who is into scat would do anal. Most people only do straight sex-penis/vaginal sex & though many do oral-most don’t do oral.

  2. I think homophobia is one of those classic behaviors that is good for society but bad for the individual, like altruism.
    Widespread homophobia is part and parcel of masculine culture. (Though ancient Greece appears to be an interesting exception). You want society to be masculine to be more capable of repelling invaders.
    However, it is in the sexual interests of any one guy to have as many other guys become gay as possible. If enough men become gay it will basically create a pussy paradise for him (assuming he doesn’t catch the virus himself),
    Of course it is also of concern that his children do not become gay either which will lead to evolutionary failure i.e. failure to reproduce. As such even if he is sure in his own sexuality it is genetically prudent of him to enforce homophobia to keep their children away from this dead-end lifestyle.
    I had one gay acquaintance I met up a few times with mostly to discuss the issues I blogged about (that is how he came to know me). He was an extremely effete person and it was pretty clear to me that he was the “wife” in his relationship. He didn’t make any advances on me or anything. They were platonic, philosophical discussions in a coffee house.

  3. Homosexuality is a form of birth defect. The leading theory is that male brains did not get enough androgen while in the fetal state. Lesbians got too much androgen. Nature gets it right about 97% of the time, but it slips up every now and then. There are myriads of birth defects, homosexuality is just one amongst many. That’s why I think the whole politicization and normalization of it is absurd to the point of offensive. Of course it’s not politically correct to say that in today’s climate, but it is what it is.
    I don’t hate them, I can’t hate someone for something they had no choice in being. But at the same time I have no desire to get close to them either. I’m not interested in hanging around men that are unmasculine. Gay men tend to take on many feminine mannerisms(lisp, walk, fashion sense) and physical affection between men(even straight men) is always going to give me an icky feeling. I could never have a gay roommate. I don’t want to hear him screaming in the other room as his boyfriend is fucking him in the ass. Sorry, if that’s homophobic than so be it.
    I accept gays as equal members of society, but I don’t embrace homosexual behavior or the subculture that often accompanies it. I’m pro-hetero.

    1. I accept gays as equal members of society, but I don’t embrace homosexual behavior or the subculture that often accompanies it.
      That pretty much sums up my view on gays. They can have their gay marriage, and their de jure equality, but that’s pretty much where it starts and ends for me.
      Like you said, homosexuality is just one birth defect among many. If gays should be a protected class based on a condition they were born with, then why not people with aspergers or bipolar disorder? After all, they couldn’t help being born with that condition, and such conditions will certainly hinder their lives, socially speaking.
      Sure, gay rights proponents would argue that such people don’t get called fags or suffer from hate crimes.
      I don’t think gays are deformed or bad. I see them on par with people with various other mental disorders.

      1. I guess you could say my view on gay rights is the same as it if for feminism. Equity is great, but the politicization of gender or sexual orientation, and some of the social norms endorsed by both, are unacceptable to me.

        1. I agree with everything yous said except for same-sex marriage. Give them civil unions, and keep the definition of marriage as male and female. It’s too important to me symbolically. Male-female pairing must retain it’s status as the ideal and social norm. Same sex marriage basically shatters that. If I was a real asshole then I’d be against civil unions for gays as well(and some on the right are). That’s going to far for me, but the other side goes to far as well too. Basically turning promotion of heterosexuality into hate speech.

        2. I can see where you’re coming from. I think the ideal situation would be one where gays had equal rights, but at the same time their lifestyles would not be normalized or promoted, because they’re simply not normal.
          In other words, I’m not going to actively oppose gay activists’ quest for equality, but I’m definitely not going to be the type who boycotts Chick-fil-A either.

      2. Bay Area Guy, I don’t know your definition but I define gay/lesbian as knowingly & willfully taking part in same sex behaviors. Orientation is a minor topic because even if orientation doesn’t change, it’s best for gays/lesbians to be celibate until a cure is found. Gay/lesbian sexual behaviors are comparable to drug junkyism. Sexual abuse is a major cause oof homosexuality/lesbianism-33% of homos report homosexual rape repeated in youth.
        They’ve not conclusively proven gay/lesbian sexual bhaiovrs are the result of a birth defect but even if true, it wouldn’t change the topic that gay/lesbian sexual behaviors are bad for health. If they can predict an unborn baby would be gay/lesbian or worse a transexual, then aborting them is the right thing to do-it must be the mom’s call. Finally with my earlier comment on ‘queero worship’, truth again is that both Harvey B. Milk & METHEW Wayne Shepard were bad people. Harvey B. Milk was a homosexual statutory rapist of a 16 year old boy in 1964 & Methew Wayne Shepard in August 1998 (2 months before his killing) falsely accused a Cody Wyoming bartender of sex abuse which was disproven by medical tests. Methew Wayne Shepard was also a drug junky who mixed Ecstasy with antidepressants. Putting aside their 1978 & 1998 killings, any1 who sees nothing wrong with Harvey B. Milk’s sex abuse of a 16 year old boy & Methew W. Shepard’s false accusation against a Cody bartender has something wrong with them.

    2. @ Tulio
      It’s interesting about what you say regarding physical affection between straight men.
      What’s ironic is that in many virulently homophobic societies or cultures, affection between straight men is actually not too uncommon.
      For example, I’ve known/know Hispanic guys who are blatantly homophobic (let’s just say that their views and words would not be welcome among effete white liberals in S.F.), but among their friends, they don’t mind getting a bit touchy every now and then. I’ve even seen them play games where they try to hit each other in the crotch and catch each other unawares. I guess for them, they would see it as goofing around, as opposed to engaging in any fruity kind of touching.
      I’ve also heard that in certain parts of the Middle East or South Asia, it isn’t uncommon for men to hold hands or be affectionate towards one another.
      The theory I’ve heard in that regard is that in those places, gays are trapped so deep in the closet that straight men, not feeling threatened by gays or worried that they might be seen as gay, are more willing to be affectionate towards other guys.
      I think that the various everyday homophobic sentiments are in many ways a reaction to gay peoples’ increasing visibility and gains.
      (and like I kind of said earlier, it varies among racial groups. Among my mainly Asian and white friends at college, homophobia was much less acceptable, and even condemned at times. At some of the parties I went to, there were even a couple of openly gay guys making out. Let’s just say that shit wouldn’t fly around the Hispanic friends I know)

      1. In India, it is not uncommon to see guys walk hand in hand or their arms over each others’ shoulders. There was no homo connotation whatsoever but it is changing from what I hear nowadays. Guys hug often too. And they don’t get hard ons when they do that.

      2. When I was in Thailand, a guy there kept trying to hold my hand as he was talking to me and he was getting very touchy. I was very uncomfortable with this but heard it’s an accepted part of the culture.

      3. Also BAG, my philosophical position is identical to yours for the most part. I believe in tolerance toward them while at the same time not making it a social norm. Unfortunately, gay marriage essentially makes homosexuality a social norm by default, which is why gays and their supporters are so ardent to get it. Why else would they reject the term “civil unions” even if it embodied all the identical rights as marriage. They don’t want it because marriage is the social norm and they want to use the courts to normalize their behavior. Of course they’ll never just come out and say it like that. So they’ll wrap up in idealistic language like “marriage equality” and “fighting hate”. But those of us with a triple digit IQ can see through all that nonsense.
        If you want to normalize homosexuality and feel it deserves to be, then support same sex marriage. But realize that it has social consequences. For example, young kids can be read gay romance stories by a teacher, and there’s nothing you’d be able to do to stop it because the courts have declared it as normal behavior. That happened in Massachusetts. Then you wonder how many liberal teachers are going to propagandize young kids in this way in order that they “grow up tolerant”.

        1. Just like you don’t want their unions to have symbolically equal status or equal status in principle, that’s exactly what they do want. They want their unions to have EQUAL status in every way, otherwise they feel they are being marginalised and not granted full equality and acceptance. It may only be a difference in name but it sends a clear message that it isn’t as valid as a straight union. Plus, they want to be able to say ‘we’re married’.
          I don’t think they are covert about this. I think this is more or less explicitly their wish.
          When you say they want their behaviour to be normalized, I’m not sure. what do you mean by normalized? To me, normal is defined by what is the norm, and they aren’t trying to make their behaviour the mainstream norm. Rather they are trying to get equal status, which is a bit different.
          This leads onto my other question. If your leading theory is correct and homosexuality is caused by exposure to androgens in the womb, then why does it matter if their marriages have equal status or gay love stories are read in schools? None of this could influence a straight kid to become gay or increase homosexuality in society since that is determined by chemicals in the womb. If its a ‘birth defect’ like you say, people can’t catch it. So why not just give them what they want? How is that detrimental to society?

        2. Tulio, I do agree that gays in many ways are attempting to normalize their behavior. The rhetorical tactics they employ when fighting for gay marriage demonstrates this.
          Am I the only one who has noticed that gays frequently compare their struggle to the black civil rights movement? For example, the prominent gay pundit Dan Savage once said (my paraphrase) that there “used to be a time in America when there were two sides regarding black civil rights and interracial marriage. Now, almost all Americans recognize that the side against black civil rights and interracial marriage was wrong, and there’s no more debate in that regard. We need to reach that same point with gay marriage.”
          Also, while visiting UC Santa Cruz (which is very liberal, particularly on issues such as gay marriage) I saw a mural whose top half had the year 1960 painted above it, and the words interracial marriage below it. There was a white Southern man saying, “we need to preserve the sanctity of marriage!”
          On the bottom half of the mural, instead of 1960 it said “today,” and interracial marriage had been replaced with gay marriage. The same white Southern man this time says, “um, what he said.”
          The obvious implication is, of course, that opposing gay marriage puts you on the same moral level as the KKK, and that since gays are normal people no different from the rest of us, being opposed to gay marriage or gay rights is as ridiculous as discriminating against black people solely because of their skin color.
          Obviously, it’s foolish to compare a sexual and lifestyle minorities to visible racial minorities, but it still makes for good rhetoric, to the uncritical individual.
          Speaking of normalization, you’ll also notice that transgender activists do the exact same thing, as evidenced by their use of the term “cisgender.” Cisgender essentially means a normal, non-transgender person, but obviously, we wouldn’t want to “normalize” normal, non-transgender people and make trannies out to be “different.”

        3. Yes good observations BAG about the mural. The gay movement loves comparing their agenda to civil rights movement. And saying that opposition to IR marriage was no different than opposition to SS marriage today. They are well aware that this is rhetorically powerful(even if superficial), and makes for great slogans that are convincing to people that can’t think critically and/or are already predisposed toward egalitarianism/liberalism. In reality, IR marriage has about as much in common with SS marriage and SS marriage has in common with polygamy.
          For one thing, there’s debate as to whether race is even a valid scientific concept. There are clusters of people with phenotype differences, but there are as many genetic differences within these phenotypes as there are across phenotypes. Scientists have little use for the word race. So hard to ban interracial marriage if race isn’t a valid concept in the first place.
          Secondly, different races can produce healthy offspring. Two men cannot produce an offspring, and marriage as it’s always been known across all cultures is a way of uniting a man to a woman and signifying that they are soon to start a family. Thus gay marriage is simply a redundancy just to piggyback on heterosexual social norms in order to make themselves feel validated.
          Thirdly, outside of the United States, Nazi Germany and apartheid S. Africa, banning interracial marriage is pretty much unheard of. And even here it wasn’t banned in every state, nor were all races banned from marrying. In some states whites couldn’t marry blacks, but they could marry Native Americans. The interracial marriage ban(primarily designed to keep blacks away from whites) was just another way of enforcing a racial caste system. It wasn’t banned in Europe, it wasn’t banned in Latin America or pretty much anytime in human history. On the other hand, gay marriage has been banned universally on all continents going back to time immemorial. The parallels between interracial and same sex just aren’t there.

        4. @ Tulio
          The parallels aren’t there, but like we’ve said, it still makes for great rhetoric nonetheless.
          Gay activists aren’t the only ones guilty of this. One of the most prominent male gender feminists, Hugo Schwyzer, once compared MRA’s to the KKK.
          There are even some Hispanic activists who have claimed that the struggle for “immigration reform” and rights for illegals will be a modern day civil rights movement.
          It would appear that activists of all stripes like to hitch a ride on the black civil rights bandwagon.
          One black Stanford law professor, Richard Thompson Ford, once referred to this as “racism by analogy.”
          If a gay activist ever tries to compare gay marriage to interracial marriage again, there’s a good way to put him in a bind. Tell him that while race isn’t a biological fact, sexual orientation is, and that therefore you can’t compare the two. If he insists that race is also biological and you shouldn’t discriminate against someone based on biology, you can put him on the spot for espousing racial essentialism, which a good progressive could never do.
          However, if he says that being gay, like being black, is also a social construct, well then why do gays need marriage? If being gay isn’t a biological fact, then gays can easily cease being gay, and this isn’t even an issue.
          If neither, then they have no argument in the first place.

    3. @ tulio: A statement such as “Homosexuality is a form of birth defect” is a demonstration of ignorance of the purpose and definition of science. It is also a demonstration of arrogance. Science suggests that in some cases fetal conditions may impact sexuality, but that is clearly not the same as your statement. Gays, bisexuals and their allies are not “politicizing” their struggle for equal rights. Here’s a concept, marriage is a legal recognition of kinship based on the fundamentally human need to romantically bond with each other.

    4. Commenting for 1st time in sometime but need to add things incl. some repeat because to gay/lesbian groups often honor gay cowards who sexually abuse teenagers such as Harvey Bernard Milk & since they push this view on others, straight people especially straight men have a right to hate gays.
      Judy Peck Shepard’s interest is to make $ off her son’s death by writing a book, making money from speeches (anywhere from $5,000 to $10,000) & the views she has such as seeing nothing wrong with homosexual coward Harvey B. Milk committing committing homosexual statutory rape on a 16 year old boy in 1964 & the Shepard Foundation’s an apologist for transexuality. Harvey Bernard Milk and drug junky Methew Wayne Shepard have become icons for gay groups but both mistreated others. With Harvey B. Milk gay/lesbian groups such as Laramie Project, Shepard Foundation incl. Judy Peck Shepard and Journalist Tiffany C. Edwards Hunt of Big Island Chronicle all see nothing wrong with Harvey B. Milk committing homosexual statutory rape on a 16 year old boy.
      In another case in Hickory N.C., Judy P. Shepard predictably sympathized with Stephen Eric Starr. For those who don’t know, homosexual coward Stephen E. Starr in February 2011 sexually abused a 19 year old mentally handicapped kid. What had happened was that Stephen E. Starr took this 19 year old retarded kid into this home & told others the boy was his ‘adopted son.’ But Stephen E. Starr sexually abused this retarded kid by putting drugs in his Mucinex. The 19 year old kid shot and killed Stephen E. Starr in his sleep and then mutilated his body with ax. Stephen E. Starr committed a crime by sexually abusing a mentally handicapped kid & that kid took his revenge.
      Judy P. Shepard & other gay groups see nothing wrong with homosexual coward Stephen E. Starr sexually abusing a 19 year old retarded kid. Don’t be surprised if Stephen E. Starr had done this before to other teen boys incl. those he knew were retarded but that this time, the kid killed him. Truth is that Matthew or METHEW Wayne Shepard & Harvey Bernard Milk were both cowards, but gay/lesbian groups side with them. If gay/lesbian groups want to honor cowards such as drug junky Methew Wayne Shepard & homosexual statutory rapist Harvey B. Milk, then it’s their right but to require schools to honor them is wrong.

  4. I haven’t had any problems with figuring out if someone I work with or am acquainted with is gay or not; it seems that in the culture I’ve grown up in, everyone’s more or less open with it and mostly in a non-creepy, though often flaming, way and I appreciate flamers for making themselves easy to identify and, thus, less likely to unintentionally offend with an ill-timed gaffe. However, since I’ve never been a “guy’s guy” who grew up engaging in alot of casual physical contact with other males in the form of play wrestling/fighting or juvenile mock-gayness (I had two roommates obsessed wtih the “show your penis game” from the movie Waiting, I very nearly videoed them and posted it to get them to stop) or habitually sought the company of other men or groups of men, ID-ing queers has never been of much concern to me; it’s not like I play on any sleepovers.

  5. I hate the breakdown between ‘Us’ and ‘Them’ when it comes to talk of Gay v’s Str8; we are all men, human beings, people who want good things out of life including great families, good jobs and fun times. Call me naive, but I have some bad ass gay friends. If they wanna fuck me, I’m flattered, like when a girl I’m not into wants to hook up. I think a lot of you guys get ashamed if a guy is femme, and worry about friends and family making a judgement which is bullshit. My gf and I are secure people, and all all different types of friends. Nor do we care what people think. I even hug my FLAMING co-worker most day. This is life…LIVE

  6. This whole idea that any guy who is into music and art, is a pussy, and a fag is redneck and stupid.
    Also, BTW, some of the biggest fucking crybabies I’ve seen, especially on social media, are the tea party macho types, who blame all their problems on Obama.
    But of course, you can be redneck crybaby, no sin in that, for sure, LOL

    1. Yes, music especially. Most musicians are quite straight. My friend was an artist and I was into the artist scene for a while, got invited to artist parties, hung out with lots of artists and artist chicks. He was a very soft guy – in fact he even admitted he was not macho. Trust me when I tell you that most of those artist dudes were heterosexual. I would go to artist parties of 300 parties and there would not be one homosexual there. I do not think I met one gay artist the whole time I hung with him.
      Also some of those artist guys were very normal and others were quite masculine and even macho.

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