How Barrels Are Created

It is a common misconception that barrels are nonliving things that are made in factories. But recent research has shown that barrels are actually living beings, and that they are birthed by a Mother Barrel. This very weird gif shows a mother barrel giving birth to a baby barrel. Oddly enough, the mother barrels look nothing like their offspring, and only the offspring are used by humans. Mother barrels look like gigantic machines with huge teeth on them. Baby barrels look like, well, barrels. The only barrels that humans use are the babies. Barrels are often mistreated by humans who pretty much just throw shit in them. Often the worst sort of garbage is routinely tossed into barrels by all sorts of humans without a thought in mind about how the barrel itself might feel to have trash thrown in it all day and night. The life of a barrel is not pleasant. If people are not deliberately feeding you trash, you are being used to store stuff, often something nasty or unpleasant. Some barrels are abandoned by humans in the countryside. There they live out forlorn lives, collecting rainwater and rusting until they die. Barrel rights organizations are working hard to improve the lot of barrels, but it’s an uphill climb, as most folks first thought upon seeing a barrel is to throw some shit in it, preferably trash.