In the comments, Tiffany describes the narcissistic sociopath that wreaked havoc in her life. This is a pretty good portrayal of this type of individual. I am currently delaying with one of these types, probably more narcissist than sociopath, who is unfortunately quite close to me. He is currently attacking a number of other people who are also quite close to me.
The number, type and degree of head games that these characters play is simply amazing. Pretty much everything is some sort of a head game or other with these types. You are a dealing with a master manipulator where everything is just a game, a charade or some sort of manipulation.
Unless you tune into looking at the world as a gigantic chessboard, you can’t figure these people out. Once you start looking at them from a “games” POV, you can start to figure out a lot of their weird, sneaky bullshit which otherwise doesn’t seem to add up or make much sense. These folks are like actors. The whole world is their stage, and they are always “on.”
As a general rule, most of them are personal catastrophes. You can have a narcissist in your life, but you may need to keep them pretty far away from you. I know a narcissist right now, but we do not have a close relationship. He lives about 300 miles away. I saw him in my town the other day as he was driving through, and he was extremely warm and friendly. Nevertheless, we are not close. If we were closer, it might be more of a problem.
You need to deal with them in a certain way. You need to be harsh with them in a sense, or deal with them as “one narcissist to another.” Put them in their place, and don’t let them push you around. Don’t go along with any of their games.
With the truly sick types, probably none of this is going to work. This is an interesting case and I have a lot more to say about it, but maybe save that for another time.
My ex knew I just broke up with a guy I was engaged to, and that we were supposed to be married in 2006. My Ex said very kind things and was loving. He became my partner at work and the relationship was great even though he was 13 years older than me.
He told me he was a captain in the Air Force during Desert Storm. And he was a police officer and worked as a task force guy for the county he lived in. He told me he was relieved of duties and retired from the AF because he had heart problems, and he had been in an accident similar to (what my other ex had been in—but the newest ex did not have any scars). That we worked for many different places.
That his 11 yr. old was from IVF and his 18 yr old–burned his garage down–at 8 yrs old–mind you– so he returned his kid back to his mother. He was the perfect guy. All that changed when I became pregnant, and over the past six years he grew more and more distant. Our sex life was like a chore for him–he would sometimes even roll over and go to sleep.
He had me and half my family convinced that no one could do anything with out him. He made sure I had no alone time on his days off. He got paranoid at one point and started reading my emails, my texts and Facebook and Twitter accounts.
He was hiding over $700 dollars a month, and we were sinking financially. We were losing–he even over ate so no one else could have seconds. He was constantly putting everyone down. He never took the blame.
He was fighting with co-workers. He actually had multiple email accounts. He also had multiple cell phones. He was interviewing for jobs and a flying on fighter jets in Vegas.
He would yell at my girls ages 5 and 12–blaming them for everything. Get 6 inches or less and scream in their face. Pure Hell we were living.
He put down everything I did – everyone was always wrong and he was always right. He is still playing mind games.
I found out the truth – he went AWOL from the AF, he was never a cop – never on a task force–nothing he told me was true. He told his family I was a mistress – that is true – we were married–but surprise he was married to his second wife. His family knew the truth but never told me because they thought I was this home wrecking person and he was happy.
He pretends he is all that–lies still about his kids and who and what they are—he lies about his kids–he tells his kids lies–then they tell his lies. You even tell his lies–your family will tell his lies and once the truth is found out—it feels as if you are mugged/robbed.
He tries to take everything–knocking you down over and over—he enjoys the head game. If you try to play a head game he turns the tables and hello—new Game–he is no in control of.
He is always a hero or victim—people either love him or hate him.
Ladies run-don’t walk. A guy like this is a category 5 hurricane.
You will wake up one day being upset and mad–wondering What was that? Honestly you have to run run run and never look back.
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I do not doubt a word
. If you have a parent who is mentally ill, an alcoholic, or otherwise very dysfunctional in their family roles, you are at risk for not seeing these guys coming because you will not realize how crazy they are–you’re used to crazy. And you’re trained to put up with crazy.
Trust your gut, listen to your body, your heart, and your friends and family. Pay attention to your dreams and worries. If your friends don’t seem to like the person, your family warns you off, you have bad dreams, and you are concerned about any aspects of the person’s life, DON”T DO IT. Run.
Sounds a lot like BPD.