Normal, Happy Guy with Irresistible Urge to Kill People

Seeks female with same desires for fun, games and who knows what else.

Just kidding.

But that’s the title of a post on AskReddit.

Full title: I’m a Relatively Normal, Happy Guy. I Have an Almost Irresistible Urge to Kill People. What’s Wrong with Me?

Well, it’s certainly an interesting question! One of the top-voted responses links an article of mine in which I discuss something called Harm OCD, in which people have unwanted thoughts, urges and feelings about wanting to kill or harm other people. They never act on the feelings to my knowledge anyway, though some say there have been a few cases. I have talked to some of these folks online, and I’m not the slightest bit worried about them. I would go on an overnight trip with any of them no problem. They’re simply not dangerous at all, which is very interesting right there.

The woman who makes this comment says that she has Harm OCD herself, and it’s a nasty illness. It does involve a lot of avoidance as folks sequester themselves away to avoid hurting others.

In my opinion, this guy does not have Harm O. He seems to very much enjoy these feelings, and he doesn’t want to get rid of them or try to stop them. Trying to stop them in particular is pathognomic of Harm O. On the other hand, I don’t think he’s a psychopath either.

He does say that he has gone so far as to plan out these murders in detail in his mind and he has taken careful note of people’s schedules as part of these plans. That is, he knows where certain will be, given their schedules,  most any day or time. The thing that prevents him from doing these murders is mostly the harm to his self-image that would come if he were to be a murderer. He’s not particularly concerned about the fate of his victims, nor is he concerned about the legal implications.

This guys seems like a case of narcissism. I see a lot of narcissism shining through this guy’s post. Other than that, I refuse to give him any kind of an overused DSM diagnosis, mostly because I think it’s ridiculous to pathologize a whole nation or planet. Are his preoccupations healthy? I don’t think so, but we are dealing here with more or a moral question than a case of psychopathology.

I wish we would deal more in terms of good and bad and less in terms of crazy or sane. A lot of so called crazies aren’t crazy at all, they’re just bad. A lot of so called scumbags aren’t really bad at all, they’re just nuts.

What’s going on is more of a case of what I would call bad karma. It’s bad karma to sit around devising ways or murdering innocent people, regardless of whether or not you believe in reincarnation. It’s bad vibes, bad for your mind, a bad idea if you want to have a proper and healthy mind.

Should folks like this guy be imprisoned? Of course not. Unfortunately, you have to wait until someone does something bad before you arrest or imprison them. You can’t lock people up on preemptive charges of dangerousness. Down that way lies totalitarianism.

I did see one case online of a guy who was imprisoned as a danger to others as a potential serial killer, but he was mentally ill anyway, had written down extensive plans for killing his victims, singled out a variety of victims and formed long dossiers on them, gathered a great deal of murder and getaway tools to carry out his plans, and said he was going to start killing people. He was hospitalized for 1 1/2 years, treated, and released. Upon release, he was healthy and free of his fantasies.

The really sick ones won’t even show up for treatment. This guy was cured because he was just healthy enough to show up for treatment about his out of control urges. Serial killers cannot be cured not for some biological reason, but because in general they simply do not want to get better.

I have a sneaky suspicion that guys like this are everywhere. I figure for every serial killer who gets caught, 100 or 1000 fantasize about such things but never do it. Why not? Because they have enough behavioral controls that they are able to keep these urges intact without acting on them. I think most don’t do it either for moral reasons (they think it’s wrong) or due to fear of getting caught.

I read a post online by a woman who had sexual fantasies of being murdered. She posted them online and was deluged by offers from young men to “murder” her, apparently just pretend kill her but who knows? She ran it by some male friends and many of them also offered to “kill” her.

She finally acted it out with a male friend, and the guy said he got so carried away during the games that he had to physically control himself so as not to kill her for real. His mind just went nuts and wanted to kill her, and he had to reign himself back in. It was amazing that so many young men apparently have fantasies of such things.

One reason we seem to have fewer serial killers now than we did in the 1970’s is due to the progression of police forensics, especially DNA. Those serial killers now operating are mostly preying on street prostitutes, drug users, runaways and other throwaway types. Some of these types are so isolated from mainstream society that years, even over a decade, may go by before they are even declared missing. On the other hand, killing ordinary people like you and me for fun is going to be a Hell of a lot harder.

Bottom line:

Who wants to kill people for fun? Lots of people!

Who really does it? Thankfully, not so many!

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40 thoughts on “Normal, Happy Guy with Irresistible Urge to Kill People”

  1. Your last paragraph says it all!

    True psychopathy is rare and I would bet it doesn’t overlap with a murderous nature. I think most psychopaths prefer to just fuck up the life of the living without killing them. Killing is a different monster. Once in a while Harm OCD synchronizes with real psychopathy and the urge is unleashed. Did you ever see the movies “Dahmer” or “Henry, Portrait of a Serial Killer?”

    Those were unusually fine examples of glimpses into the deranged murderous mind.

    Personally, I consider myself a serial fucker because I wonder what it’s like to fuck everyone I meet.

    1. Not Harm O in the case of a serial killer. OCD and psycopathy probably cannot co-exist. One is the opposite and mirror image of the other. They cancel each other out. OCD people are the anti-psychopaths. Psychopaths are the anti-OCD people. OCD people feel tremendous guilt and never do anything aggressive, and psychopaths commit a tremendous amount of aggression and never feel any guilt.

    2. I had severe SPD, a form of OCD, and can become verbally aggressive very quickly but never engage in violent behavior. I doubt this guy had OCD though.

  2. There is a hunger, which needs to be fed. The person will keep something from the last killing and carry this around w/him, to have so he can touch and remember the feeling of power. When that wares off the need to kill returns anew. He will stalk and follow for days, months than when he has every detail set up like little ducks he goes for the kill and finds another memory item to hold him over until the hunger returns. I know it sounds so elementary but for him it is about transforming into something new. Around here we have many evels so I am constant on where my family is at all times day or night, becuase the hunger will return one must be ready and every cell in ones body must be lite up. One can not be so weak…I am not weak I am always watching. I believe i seen a serial killer once I was not sure until years later when his picture showed up on the news and than I knew I had seen this killer hunting. For the time and place it was odd for this man to be at a indian tavern and parked so far from the place. I was parked at the store going in to get some chips and soda pop and I seen him come out of the indian tavern and walk right past me with no fear but a cold hard stare looking past me and getting into a old four door car dark green in color and dusty. I can stilll see him walking by in my mind and thinking? what is this guy doing here?

  3. I wonder if it really is that common. Since just before puberty onward, I’ve had the desire to kidnap, kill, and eat strangers. I’ve never acted on it.The strange thing is that no matter how strong the desire gets, even if I’m alone with a girl I could easily overpower and I want nothing more than to kill her then and there, I’m physically unable to do anything. It’s the same with other things. I physically can’t throw a punch or raise my voice in anger. Life is rather odd sometimes.

      1. I’m 19 now. It’s hard to say, but as it stands I can’t act on it. There are a variety of factors that I’d need to take into account; how I view myself in relation to the people I want to kill, finding a suitable person on the fly and grabbing them without putting myself in danger, having a place to butcher someone in privacy. My own hangups in regards to denying myself experiences in order to prove that I’m a more self aware being than the people I would kill. And as long as technical issues remain, I couldn’t do anything about it anyway.
        I’m harmless.

    1. How do you feel about the feelings? Are you ok with them? Are they pleasant and fun to think about or fantasize about or do they torment you, bother me, torture you, and infest you? Do you wildly try to fight the feelings off, stop them or get rid of them or are you just ok with them?

      1. I fantasize about it often. If there’s a struggle, it’s because I deny myself things that I want. People I’ve told in the past have always jumped to conclusions about the state of my mind. “People who think like this know that they’re right and won’t consider any alternative without outside help.” I look at all the possibilities, and even when I know that subhumans need to be killed and eaten like livestock, I’m willing to entertain the idea that I’m wrong. I can FEEL it when a person is transmitting brain signals or when there’s simply white noise, but I imagine Christians sometimes feel their god in every day things that I would attribute to something else, and that’s not a problem with their minds. Still can’t physically do it either way.

    2. I have that exact same problem. Throughout my high school years and into my early twenties I’ve been having the urge to murder those around me. But I’m not stupid, I won’t kill someone who knows me.
      Lately, I’ve been hitchhiking, and whenever I get picked up I cannot help but imagine myself overpowering the driver, killing them, and then chopping up the body.

  4. You talk about Harm OCD and my question is my last therapist said that he believed that I had Harm OCD and he did not quite go into grave detail about the disorder. So I took it upon myself to find more than that just what the maggot told me. In all of my research it says that People who have Harm OCD do have aggressive urges about killing and beating people to death, but it says that they feel extreme guilt about these urges, which I do not and when I confronted my so called Therapist about this it lead to us to no longer working together.

  5. I know someone who dreams of killing regularly and fantasizes about it during the day- regular member of the community, good friend and seemingly all round good person- how can they be so at odds with themselves in private? They seem genuine but have these thoughts…

  6. Hey. I think i have that disorder myself. U think we could talk about it more “privately”? Its killing me because the urges are getting stronger every day

  7. A famous psychiatrist once said, a homicidal fantasy a day keeps the psychiatrist away. I agree with him, but it’s better to just think about it and not to do it due to moral, legal and self-preservation issues.

  8. Hello there, I’m really confused with harm ocd. About 4 months ago I had a severe nasty thought about murdering my girlfriend. I caused me so much anxiety and I felt like I was actually going to commit the act. I started crying and going into a panic attack. Anyways these thoughts have continued to go on since then. Usually they always bring about a panic attack, but lately I just feel so empty that these thoughts and impulses aren’t bothering me. The fact that they don’t bother does bring about anxiety, but not as much. I certainly don’t want to kill anyone. the constant lack of emotions I’m having for these thoughts is slowly dragging me towards the thoughts of suicide. I feel like a horrible person, I’m going to a therapist and I believed the harm ocd diagnosis at first but now I’m starting to doubt my own character. I’ve always been a nice person, but I can’t believe I’m dealing with this.So I guess my question is can OCD make you feel this way or am I just a psychopath.

    1. Classic Harm OCD case unfortunately. Harm OCD makes you feel like a psychopath, tragically enough. Also the loss of emotions is also very typical. Email me if you like.

      If you were a psychopath, you wouldn’t care, or you would like to feel that way. Psychopaths like being psychopaths, they enjoy it and they don’t want to change as a rule. And psychopaths love to think about hurting people and killing people. They think about stuff like that all the time, sometimes all day long.

  9. This is interesting. I’ve thought about enlisting in the army to get the urges of killing out. Death is a fascinating and beautiful subject, but there are laws and moral codes in place. Everyone has thought of killing someone at one time or another, usually in anger. I am just curious about it, what it would feel like to end someone’s life by my own hands. But you can’t be tainted by that feeling either. It makes sense for me to go into police work, or the military, because I will have opportunities to kill people, but it will be ‘justified’ by society and there will be no legal repercussions. It’s more of a fair fight is both parties know they might die, and there are appropriate times and places to release these urges. Hunting is another way, animals I mean. You can use the parts of the deer, and as research into Ed Gein has confirmed, skinning a deer is apparently a lot like skinning a person. As long as you are not hurting innocent people, and respecting societal and social boundaries.

    1. Homicidal ideation, provided it is contained within population norms, is nothing to be ashamed of. Hell, I feel like killing people myself sometimes!

      Are you a young man? I was a lot more homicidal as a young man than I am now. Now I don’t feel that way so often. When I was a young man, I felt like killing people on a regular basis. I also used to threaten to kill certain people on regular basis. I still threaten to kill people, but really hardly ever anymore. It’s down to maybe once a year or so. Also, I don’t feel good about issuing a death threat, whereas as a young man, it felt pretty boss. Now it just sort of feels creepy and uncomfortable. Hell, for many years, I wanted to kill two of my family members. I no longer want to kill these people. One of them is dead, and another one I calmed down about.

    2. I never thought about killing random people in general. Mostly I just thought about killing my enemies, whoever they happened to be at the time. Wanting to kill random people is a pretty antisocial thought. Unfortunately, I have experienced this thought before, but I am not proud of it. That’s a bad way of thinking, and I think it is important to get outside of it. Think about it. Killing random human beings who you don’t know from Adam is a profoundly antisocial thing to do.

  10. I like dressing up as a fairy and having graphic thought of hurting my kitten. Im a 21 year old male and i need help.

  11. Hello, lately I’ve been having problems regarding ‘killing’ and ‘harm’ also this might be in result to watching Psycho over the summer… I am a girl who suffers FROM ADHD and I’m scared that I’m a psychopath or sociopath.. believe it or not the thought and feeling of me being a bad person has been haunting me probably since my childhood, but I never unleashed a word because I was afraid of being institutionalized…. I’m 16 and this is the struggle– Would you recommend that I actually talk this out with a psychiatrist? I’m sorta worried about the results though–

  12. Arrived at this site by accident when searching for another topic. I’d like to say to those who are willing to listen and believe, that there is nothing wrong with you per se because you yourself are not the one behind these urges and thoughts; instead you are being influenced, or worst, possesed by satanic spirits that you have given legal right to be there through sin in your life. These spirits of murder anger ect attach themselves to you by way of violent movies, shows and video games and influence your thoughts and make them irresistible to you even when you know it’s wrong and you try to fight them off. Same happens with pornography and anything else made irresistible to you that deep inside you know it’s wrong. I myself have been freed from the spirit of pornography that gripped me and almost ruined my life and marriage. I was set free by accepting Jesus as my God and through fasting and prayer delivered from the demonic influence once and for all. I hope you too will be set free from the grip of Satan. “Now where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom” 2 Corinthians 3:17
    “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed” John 8:36

  13. Homicidal ideation is the day-to-day norm for me. I enjoy these thoughts, but because I’d rather not throw away my education and risk being imprisioned with a bunch of white trash/ghetto trash idiots, I refrain from killing and instead put myself at the end of the abuse. Self-harm so far has sated the “itch”, but I’m afraid to say that it no longer suffices.

    The urge to kill is becoming overwhelming. I’ve been very close to actually stabbing someone insofar as me literally having the knife in my hand and acting out stabbing motions behind this person’s back.

    I really wanted to stab said person for no reason other than that I wanted to hurt someone. I refrained from doing so for the aforementioned reasons.

  14. i also have the urge to kill people, but not one or 20 but all of them, and in close up combat (dont know if i say it right) so that i can see them die.

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