I Have An Idea!

Let’s hold a summit!

WASHINGTON—President Barack Obama will convene a one-day summit of corporate chief executives Wednesday as part of a renewed White House effort to build support among business leaders for his economic agenda. Executives from Google, Cisco Systems, Inc., Facebook Inc., International Business Machines Corp., American Express Co., The Dow Chemical Co. and Pepsico Inc. have been invited to the Wednesday meeting at Blair House, adjacent to the White House, to discuss trade, tax, regulatory issues and the deficit.

They had one of these crazy summits a while back. IMO, it was a complete catastrophe. Obama gave the corporate chiefs everything they wanted. This summit will probably be the same. Obama: Let’s reach a compromise! Corporate chiefs: “Um, ok?” (Looking very dubious) Obama: “Ok, for my part of the compromise, tell us everything you guys want.” Corporate chiefs: (Smiling conspiratorially and nudging each other) “Sounds good! Demands, demands, demands, demands, demands. Mostly, we are being far too regulated and our peons, I mean workers, are making way too much money. We just can’t add any more jobs at this time. Sorry.” Obama: “We feel your pain. Allow us to counsel on our side.” (Goes off and huddles for 2 minutes with his staff and comes back.) Obama: “Ok we are ready to reach a deal. First of all, we will give you everything you want as part of our deal. I want you to realize how painful it was for us to reach this difficult decision that violates our core values.” Corporate chiefs: “We understand! We understand! Ok, so what do you guys want from us?” Obama: “Nothing really. Just make sure to call it a difficult compromise please.” Barack Obama: Protecting the wealthy since 2008!

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0 thoughts on “I Have An Idea!”

  1. This reminds me of what Bill Hicks said about newly elected presidents being taken into a room by business executives and being shown a video of the Kennedy assasiantion from a view never seen by the public.
    I also want to correct your dialog Robert.
    Barack Obama: Welcome corporate executives. I would like to introduce you to our special guest Joe Everyman.
    Executives: Hi Joe!
    Obama: Alright, time to get down to business. Joe, grab your ankles. Sorry we can’t afford crisco or a pillow to bite on because we had to keep the tax cut for the rich. Alright now executives, form a strait line behind his ass. One of you come around front and stand on this chair so you can piss on his face. I want him to feel the full effect of the trickle down.
    Executives: Why does his ass have a tatoo that says “Welcome” on it?
    OBama: Well, all the guys from the Tea Party got together and had those put on as a resistance to socialism.
    Executives: You mean the people from the REAL america?
    Obama: Well they’re gonna feel like the people from the real San Francisco or Key West when we’re done.v(Obama and execs laugh and anally rape joe everyman)
    Executives: What about the compromise?
    Obama: Why should we compromise when we’re on the same side?
    Joe: What about hope and change?
    Obama: You’re going to have to hope and change your pants
    (obama and execs laugh loudly. Joe everyman dies of anal bleeding.)

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