From the comments section, a very interesting comment from the very interesting new and welcome commenter MaMu1977, whose commenting style is very much in line with the extreme heterodox and eclectic style of this blog. I don’t necessarily agree with everything he’s saying below, but I think he has some good points. The stuff about domestic violence made me shake my head, but he’s probably right. The feminists will go insane, but it confirms what’s the most cynical corner of my blackest heart has always suspected. Feel free to comment at the end; there’s a lot here to think and write about:
Anyway, like I told “Chuck” at guccilittlepiggy, women like sex more than guys. They’ve always liked sex more than guys.
The “fly in the ointment” is this: the worse the sex, the less women like it. In a society in which sex is simplified to, “Insert penis in vagina, manipulate penis until ejaculation, remove penis upon ejaculation and go to sleep”, the amount of women who see sex as being worth the bother drops precipitously (with the women who enjoy it usually being in the presence of “Alpha” males or the “curiously gifted” {whether through sheer size, genital deformity such as G-spot arousing bends or flat out stamina}.)
Notice that I didn’t mention anything about the women being aroused enough to enjoy sex in that little spiel, I just said that there are way too many men who treat sex like a slot machine (insert money, pull lever, extract winnings.) If you treat a woman like that slot machine, she’ll eventually figure out that her man’s collecting all of the money and she’s always getting cherry-cherry-bell on her screen. If she’s not getting her big O, then she’s going to come to the conclusion that noone’s getting the big O (or, obviously, she’s going to find herself a better man to give her her “medicine”!)
Then I find myself “lucky” enough to go on the Internet and read about middle-aged men whose wives refuse to have sex with them, or MRAs who believe that all women are “evil” because their unsatisfied SOs ran off with the kids and their money (after spending years, if not decades, with men who either refused to learn or never bothered to learn how to give them their “cookies”).
I say this to guys on a regular basis, “No woman is going to leave a man who’s able to make her come, period. And the sluttier she was, the less likely she’s going to leave you because she’s experienced more than enough bad dick in her lifetime to know a good thing when she’s holding it in her hand.” If you can make women have orgasms on a regular basis, you can quite literally do anything that you want with that woman for as long as you like.
A woman who’s been raised to be “independent, feminist, ‘strong’ and (to take an example from my own life) ‘nationalistic’ (as in, ‘There are too many minorities in my country!’) will teach herself how to be more amenable to her man’s needs if she’ll maintain her access to pleasurable long-term sex from that man, period.
If a “alpha” marries a woman who parrots the equality line (for argument’s sake, a broad-shouldered and rugged man in good health with a good job, but he’s unable to make her orgasm), he soon finds himself on the outside forking out alimony and child support. A “beta” (not as large, not as handsome, nowhere near as tough, less “manly” income) who’s managed to learn a bedroom trick trick or two can hold onto that woman until she has a foot in the grave. “Alphas” with no game have to sneak into a strip club, “betas” with skills can convince her to drive.
You can even compare it to domestic violence victims. Interview almost any non-upper class DV victim and she’ll eventually say that the “aftercare” (read, rough/hot sex with orgasms) was what kept her in the relationship. Whether the man in question fed her submissive instincts and forced himself upon her, or if his “apology” for losing his temper was to treat her like his personal goddess (for more dominant women) and cater to her for the rest of the night, it was the payoff that made the abuse seem worthwhile.
As someone who’s been on the listening end, the most common reason given for finally ending those relationships was this, “The pain wasn’t worth the pleasure” (for broken bones and more serious than black eye types.) If you meet a woman whose first visit to a DV center was based on the first attack, you can assume that her husband is either bad in bed or incredibly rich (barring, of course, foreign-born women who don’t know how to play the game.)
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“If you can make women have orgasms on a regular basis, you can quite literally do anything that you want with that woman for as long as you like.”
Really?
There might be some women for whom this is true, but I assure you that for some of us, this is not true at all.
alpha unit- he sort of has a point. If a man is talented, a woman will put up with more than she will from a man who is unskilled. btw, I’m certainly not agreeing with DV or cheating but other things she will put up with.
To Alpha:
Really?
There might be some women for whom this is true, but I assure you that for some of us, this is not true at all.
Unfortunately that does apply to some women I have known. (it helps that they considered the men to be attractive also..)
As my “little sister” (she’s not, I would never have this kind of conversation with my real sister…) said: “A quality cock attached to a tolerable man is hard to find.”
The thing is, men like sex even if it is shitty. We just want to get off. Yes, we’d prefer to have good sex in which we completely drain our balls and the woman’s head explodes after 7 orgasms, but we’ll settle for much less.
So the fact that women require all of these check marks on their sexual bucket list before being primed for sex really just backs up my original point.
Men enjoy *the act* of sex qua sex more than women do. There is really no replacement for sex for a man; he can’t go to a dinner theater event with candles and wine and come out fully satisfied if he is horny. His horniness is more of a biological function compared to women’s. Yes, women get physically horny too, but they often just want to engage in some sort of intimate endeavor with their man. *More so than men*, women can have their companionship category filled through things other than sex.
I have a feeling that we’re looking at “sexual desire” in different ways here.
As for MaMu’s comments: I don’t disagree with much that he wrote. I also feel that many men don’t try to reciprocate their women to optimize their sexual relationships. But that can be true while at the same time it can be true that men enjoy sex and *strive towards orgasm* more than women.
The whole discussion at my blog arose when we were talking about a talk given by a feminist where she made hay about the “orgasm gap”. My contention is that women aren’t as concerned with getting off as men are therefore the orgasm gap is natural. Men masturbate more than women; we think about sex more than women; we orgasm more quickly than women (during masturbation and sex).
I took umbrage at the feminist’s point that men don’t value women’s sexuality. But when you think about it, men put in much more work than women – it’s not an indication of lesser investment that they don’t get off as readily as we do. If anything, many of the orgasms that women do have occur because men go out of their way to stave off their orgasm so that women can get theirs too.
This was all part of my point that women, since they don’t enjoy sex as much as men do, engage in sex because they know it will keep their men happy. As such, the sex *does* become more about the man busting his nut compared to the woman. Feminists pretend that women like sex just as much as men – in aggregate – therefore any orgasm gap is indication that men are pigs.
This doesn’t prevent me, personally, from waiting until my woman gets hers before I get mine. That’s how I do because I adhere to MaMu’s beliefs as well.
chuck The thing is, men like sex even if it is shitty. We just want to get off
yes sir agree 1000%
Yes, women get physically horny too, but they often just want to engage in some sort of intimate endeavor with their man. *More so than men*, women can have their companionship category filled through things other than sex.
no no no, you’ve got this confused. When women want it, they want it good. This is where technique become important.
My contention is that women aren’t as concerned with getting off as men are therefore the orgasm gap is natural.
this isnt’ true. We want that o as much you do and grow frustrated when “you” don’t give it to us. Some women grow to secretly dispise men who can’t give it to them.
Hence the fact that vibrators are so popular.
“Women aren’t as concerned with getting off as men.” Puuuleaze. That’s what men like to tell themselves because they don’t want to be bothered to work at it (trust me, I’m certainly working just as hard, if not harder, to keep my libido going, especially if he’s doing nothing for me). And believe me, when I’m horny, dinner or other forms of “companionship” aren’t gonna do squat for me.
As for women who stay in domestic violence situations, they overwhelmingly have had some form of physical or intense emotional abuse in their past. I’m not saying sex doesn’t play a part, but I suspect that has more to do with this feeling like love rather than the fact that these guys can make them come.
And FYI, there are guys out there who are fucking hot, sensitive, loving, in-tune, and absolutely fantastic in bed.