I’ve been thinking for a long time now that the way to be in life, for a guy, is:
1. Nice, friendly, even warm, etc. I even compliment people a lot, make jokes, etc.
Plus
2. Scary! Don’t fuck with me or I’ll kill you. Or I’ll make you wish you were dead.
This actually seems to work pretty good. You try to be as nice as possible to most everyone else so they have no reason to retaliate. Plus you try to be warm enough to get some kind of friendly interaction coming back.
On the other hand, you are just scary enough that most people only want to say nice things to you, or humor you. If they feel like insulting you or attacking you, they hold back because they’re too frightened of your reaction.
Works pretty good!
I had a couple of friends who no one ever messed with when they were young. In fact, one of them treated his friends like crap, and they still kept coming around.
One was a relative, a cousin who lived with us for a while. She was beautiful but a little bit nuts. She was also seriously crazy, as in dangerous and unpredictable. She had a lot of friends, but almost no one ever fucked with her for one second. She was just too scary. I remember one time in middle school she beat up a Samoan girl!
The rest of us, especially me, were always getting our feelings hurt. I even cried as a boy at the way my “friends” used to treat me. I was walking around hurt and bewildered half the time. Of course, I was always Mr. Nice.
There are a couple of people in my circle who I pretty much will never put down or even criticize. If I do criticize, I am very careful how I do it. These people go nuts and almost seem like they’re going to get violent if you critique them. So everyone leaves them alone, humors them or watches what they say around them.
It’s not a bad setup. I strongly recommend it.
And if you do get an insult, if it’s a woman, glare at her like you’re about ready to hit her. You’re not going to hit her, of course. You’re a gentleman, and she’s just a woman. But she needs to know the score. If she likes you, she will apologize.
If she doesn’t like you, just turn your back to her and act really cold. Stop looking at her and look at the ground.
If people seriously burn you, like start laughing at you in public or something like that, stop and stare them down. Go into the post office shooter mode where you really feel like you’re going to mow them all down right now. You’re unarmed, and you won’t do it anyway, so no worries. Walk back aways, then stand there and stare at them really crazy doing your best Michael Myers impersonation. Totally go into the mindset like an expert actor. You’re not really psycho, so don’t worry. It’s all a big show. Pretty soon lots of bystanders will start getting nervous and act like they are getting ready to call the cops, but no one will. After a while, the targets will get so nervous that they will quickly pack up and leave.
When you stand there with that hurt puppy dog expression on your face saying in your mind, “Please! Please! Like me! Accept me! I’ll do anything,” sadly, all that does is encourage the blood lust.
Training humans is sort of like training animals. Good behavior gets a pat on the head and a treat. Bad behavior gets swift punishment. Most relatively healthy humans are quite trainable. Unhealthy people like sociopaths and narcissists are the equivalent of alley cats – impossible to domesticate. Best to mostly just keep your distance.
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Alpha gets her posts on top for a while after she publishes. Not very long, not even a whole day at all. It’s one of the ways I accommodate by co-author here.