A commenter with Asperger’s Syndrome talks about AS and social skills:
I have a hard time being social when I’m tired, sick, in a bad mood or if I’m really inspired to do something else.
Aren’t you making a bit much of this so called disorder here? I mean, that describes tons of basically normal people. I’m thinking especially of my Mom. She can be pretty unpleasant sometimes, and I think she’s pissed at me, but it turns out she’s just tired after working.
Yes, normal people who are tired act irritable and antisocial.
Yes, normal people who are in a bad mood reflect that bad mood off on innocent people.
Yes, normal people who are sick are antisocial at best.
Yes, normal people who have something going on are often quite irritable and want you to get out of their face.
Actually, I don’t think behavior is normal at all, because I am way too easy going. I think it’s horrifying. But it’s basically the way normal humans act.
So you’re basically saying you act like everyone else. Ok, and?
I also tend to talk too much about particular interests even if it bores the people I’m with.
Ok, this is not so good. But once again, tons of normal folks act this way, especially men. For instance, I do this myself. It’s one of my terrible habits.
One thing is important though. Do you realize that you are boring people or annoying them. I do realize it of course, but it pisses me off! How dare these idiots get bored or annoyed at me! I’m saying something important here! Plus I hate “normal” society because other than say the fuckin weather, 100 trillion other subjects are automatically “offensive” in a way, even if you talk about them non-offensively. So I deliberately talk about “offensive” shit, like race for instance, mostly just to piss these idiots off. I do it in a pretty cool way, more or less anti-racist, but in most places, even that’s banned.
Race may not be discussed at all, period. So when I’m doing this, I’m often rebelling.
There’s also some male egocentrism involved. When the person is acting bored or annoyed, I get pissed! It’s an insult, and I don’t like to be insulted. So I respond to that insult by talking about it even more, just to piss them off! On another level, I refuse to believe that the person is getting irked or snoring. I say, “This isn’t happening!” and I keep on talking because to believe it is an insult.
One thing is that in most places, if you talk about anything requiring over say a 100 IQ, almost everyone acts like you are irking or snoring them. That pisses me off too. My IQ already unfortunately makes it seem like I’m living in a world full of retards, but being banned from saying anything intelligent in public really gets on my fuckin nerves. I do have to go out sometimes, you know.
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Lindsay
You’d be a good candidate for an Asperger’s screening and I mean that in a good way. Assburger’s is a badge of honor where I come from. All the MIT students are self diagnosing.
Check this out
http://trypticon.808bass.com/?p=171
Oh I am quite certain that I don’t have that. This is preposterous. It’s a fad dx. Totally absurd and ridiculous, excuse me. Why do you want to be mentally ill? It’s crazy.
I’ve always considered much of high-functioning Asperger’s Syndrome to be simply an extreme end of the normal personality spectrum. Full-fledged autism is clearly an abnormal mental condition, but I think a lot of what is nowadays termed Asperger’s (especially “self-diagnosed” cases) is simply what was called eccentric, shy, asocial, or introverted 50 years ago. I Feel the same way about many borderline ADD/ADHD cases (although again, in more pronounced cases there is clearly a neurological malfunction at work).
This is ridiculous.
is simply what was called eccentric, shy, asocial, or introverted 50 years ago.
Yes, there are many such folks. More properly, many of them are simply neurotics. Various anxiety disorders present something like this, in particular OCD and social phobia. There are also personality disorders that account for a good part of this, including schizoid, schizotypal, avoidant and paranoid.
Many neurotics are anywhere from shy to extremely shy, and they can often appear quite strange. Heavy duty anxiety looks pretty damn weird. I’ve so far met two OCD folks and they were quite alike. They lacked spontaneity and had essentially moved from their bodies into their minds.
They both appeared to be distracted to one degree or another and off in their own world to some extent. It was like there was a wall between them and reality. That’s rather odd, but it’s not “Aspergers.” I refuse to believe that everyone who seems shy or weird or both is an “Aspie.” This is ridiculous.
It comes as a handy excuse for being lazy sometimes. You can use it as a convenient excuse to take off days from work or sue your employer for workplace discrimination if they fire you for “hate speech.”
If you ever go to Europe, or somewhere where they have laws against hate speech, you could use it as an excuse to avoid being imprisoned.
There are other benefits that I won’t mention.
Thank you.
The more I read about this condition, the more I believe I have it.
Hi Robert,
I think calling intelligent people Aspies make non-intelligent people feel better about themselves and give very lonely high-IQ people a way (not the best) to feel they have company. Yes, many intelligent people are anti-social mainly because a lot of people are just plain dumb. They should try to live in a town full of 12 year-olds for one month ant try following their rules for a change. Then they would know exactly what a high IQ person has to deal with on a daily basis.
Some people have suggested that I am an Aspie. I don´t care. People can call me whatever they want it doesn’t change who I am. It´s mostly used by lazy people as an excuse not to even try following another person´s line of though. I´ve given up talking about anything interesting in regular social settings – wherever I can´t pick who I am hanging out with. I just play along and make small talk, which by the way I only learned how to do after I figured out what it´s use was. Talking about the weather seems stupid if you think it´s about the weather. It´s not. It’s a way of picking up on people´s mood. I found out than small talk is the human equivalent of dogs smelling each other’s behind. It´s just to know what the odds are you will be patted on the back, ignored or yelled at in the very near future. If you don´t pick up the signs, your doomed to social failure.
There are also some key questions a person can ask to sense to which extent the other person is open or even deep enough to follow your line of thought. I´m still often wrong on this aspect and usually tend to give some people much more credit than they actually deserve, and end up being called whatever name is trendy. (“Nazi” seems to have been incorporated in Brazilian vocabulary to designate anyone that is blond, white and openly admits liking order. Plus having German ancestors always helps speeding things along to getting called a Nazi… “you are white, your father is German… you asked me to please turn the volume of the stereo down a notch.. Jeez, stop being such a Nazi!”) So that has been lots of fun lately.
Since I self-educated myself on small talk, I navigate the social world much more easily and stopped feeling guilty about finding most people just not interesting enough to spend time with. I would have loved to know that as a young adult. Fortunately I had a few good and intelligent friends back there; otherwise I would have gone insane trying to adapt myself to the crowd. I can totally relate to people who think they are Aspies. I just don´t think it´s productive. If you are intelligent it´s hard enough to get around as it is. Why turn yourself in a double-trouble? Be positive. If you have a high IQ, you have a high IQ, nothing you can do about it (except drinking maybe … or you can watch TV for a whole month non-stop… that´ll dumb you down no problem – lol). If you have to deal with it, other people should too.
To anyone out there who just can´t get other people I recommend a book by Temple Grandin and Sean Barron called “The Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships”. It´s written from an autistic perspective. Really interesting stuff. It´s kind of an X-ray on society’s social (and often nonsensical) expectations. Good fun for people of all ages and all IQ´s.
: )
I was wish I could get rid of my aspgers so much, I asper to be normal so much, but not dumb obviously, you know what it sounds like to me, chuck the rule book out of the windows, don’t obey society you will never be happy, happyness come from freedom, along as your not a free m***** unless you want to belive in that crap then go for it,but being youself doesn’t work ither its tough, I want to be someone else go for it, but if youself like being thats not wrong, infact if what you makes happy believing in rules or not following them, make you own rules, don’t obey there rules, just don’t going do something stupid, so my adive is make your own choice and be free humans where designed that way I hope that help, if not have a big moan at me it might help.
P.S My spelling is crap so please forgive me or don’t
Its up to you.