Tell Tobacco Companies: Quit Marketing to Kids!

In recent years, tobacco companies have ramped up their marketing efforts aimed at kids. This time it’s little kids. Even episodes of Spongebob Squarepants have ads for cigarettes. New brands have come out, specifically marketed to toddlers. Ads in magazines feature Bert and Ernie. Instead of a cookie stuffed into his mug, he’s got a cancer stick! The horrors!

2 year old boy smoking like a pro. Can this kid smoke or what? He's got style, man. He's better than Bogart himself. Photo is from Indonesia. Note that the phenotype resembles a Filipino, but darker. Resembles a Polynesian quite a bit.

This kid smokes better than I ever did. I never could smoke right. For a while there, I smoked about a cigarette a day. Everyone thought that was stupid.

I was always bumming smokes off chicks, mostly to get to know them. They usually gave me a disgusted look.

Girlfriends would give me cigarettes, then yell at me, “You don’t even smoke!”

People always said I smoked wrong. Guys said I smoked like a fag. They showed me the “guy way to smoke,” but it looked like a plot to burn my knuckles, so I couldn’t get into it.

I smoked clove cigarettes for a while, then cherry cigars, then herb cigarettes. All a waste of time, and they ruin your health to boot. Plus they don’t even get you high. If you’re going to take something bad for you, you may as well get loaded. Wasted is even better. Totalled is optimal.

Cigarettes are retarded.

  • They are as addicting as heroin, but 99% less fun.
  • See above. They don’t even get you high.
  • They fuck up your health pretty bad.
  • They make your breath stink.
  • They make all the fabrics in your home stink.
  • Here in California anymore, they make everyone hate you, which is just and proper.
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3 thoughts on “Tell Tobacco Companies: Quit Marketing to Kids!”

  1. It’s funny. There’s a lot of super health nut hipster types who won’t touch red meat and use weird butter substitutes like “Earth Balance” (good marketing) but don’t mind lighting up for a few cigarettes after their vegan salad.

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