The other day these two little bratty 11 year old girls were bugging me. One’s White, one’s Hispanic. They were calling me gay for some reason. I didn’t dig it, so I walked by them and gave them the finger. They flipped out and went to go get Daddy (Mexican tough guy).
Later the parents came to the door. It’s this Mexican guy, who is tough but OK and his fat Mexican wife who looks White. I come out of the house with this big huge metal coffee thermos in one hand. I’m holding it like it’s a weapon, and I might bash someone in the head with it. I’m holding it to my side at mid-body, about one foot away from my waist with a very firm grip, about where you would hold a gun or knife. I’m not raising it over my head. Plus I have deniability. Maybe I’m just drinking coffee, right?
They ask what’s going on, then they see the thermos, and start backing away real quick with their heads down and turned away. This means they don’t want any violent scenes with coffee thermoses. But I’m not directly threatening them with it, so they can walk away. If I’m swinging it over my head, it’s fight time. Plus that makes me a loon.
I tell them.
They ask, “What did they say?” I said they called me gay. The woman snickers, insulting my masculinity. The Mexican guy turns away, like he’s ashamed. What’s going on here is he knows I’ve been humiliated male-wise by his wife, and he doesn’t want any part of it. He’s respecting my manhood by putting his head down and looking away, saying he’s not attacking my masculinity. Plus he realizes what an insult this is, and he doesn’t like it.
The mother says, “They’re just kids!” I say, “I don’t care who they are. You don’t say that about me. I’m not gay, and nobody calls me gay. You call me that, and I’m going to flip you off.” The Mexican guy acts like he respects that. The woman shrieks, “What? You said you’re going to fuck them up?” Provocation. I don’t fall for the bait. I say, “No, I’m going to flip them off.” Real cool like. Then the parents just walk away with their heads down.
A few lessons here.
First of all. I only flipped off the girls. Did not say one word. Better to just make a gesture, because any words will just be twisted. You say, “Fuck you,” and the girls will say, “He said come fuck me.” It’s hard to twist a gesture. Besides a gesture is not as bad as words.
Second, come out with a (fake) weapon but don’t be too aggro about it. Act like you’re going to defend yourself.
Third, don’t escalate the situation in the face of provocations. Keep it level. I was going to say, “You sure are a lousy parent letting your kids run loose like this,” but that would have just escalated things. The woman would have gotten really mad, and the Mexican may have felt a need to defend his insulted wife.
The Mexican dude totally respected the whole way I handled it. I handled it just like a Mexican would have. He respects that. But if I got in his face, he would have had to fight me.
This is why social skills are so important. Commenters on here says they doesn’t care about social skills, but this confrontation was all about social skills. You have to say and do exactly the right thing and not say or do the wrong things. If you mess up, things escalate and turn real ugly or weird real quick.