Man World 101: A Potential Fight and How I Dealt With It

The other day these two little bratty 11 year old girls were bugging me. One’s White, one’s Hispanic. They were calling me gay for some reason. I didn’t dig it, so I walked by them and gave them the finger. They flipped out and went to go get Daddy (Mexican tough guy).

Later the parents came to the door. It’s this Mexican guy, who is tough but OK and his fat Mexican wife who looks White. I come out of the house with this big huge metal coffee thermos in one hand. I’m holding it like it’s a weapon, and I might bash someone in the head with it. I’m holding it to my side at mid-body, about one foot away from my waist with a very firm grip, about where you would hold a gun or knife. I’m not raising it over my head. Plus I have deniability. Maybe I’m just drinking coffee, right?

They ask what’s going on, then they see the thermos, and start backing away real quick with their heads down and turned away. This means they don’t want any violent scenes with coffee thermoses. But I’m not directly threatening them with it, so they can walk away. If I’m swinging it over my head, it’s fight time. Plus that makes me a loon.

I tell them.

They ask, “What did they say?” I said they called me gay. The woman snickers, insulting my masculinity. The Mexican guy turns away, like he’s ashamed. What’s going on here is he knows I’ve been humiliated male-wise by his wife, and he doesn’t want any part of it. He’s respecting my manhood by putting his head down and looking away, saying he’s not attacking my masculinity. Plus he realizes what an insult this is, and he doesn’t like it.

The mother says, “They’re just kids!” I say, “I don’t care who they are. You don’t say that about me. I’m not gay, and nobody calls me gay. You call me that, and I’m going to flip you off.” The Mexican guy acts like he respects that. The woman shrieks, “What? You said you’re going to fuck them up?” Provocation. I don’t fall for the bait. I say, “No, I’m going to flip them off.” Real cool like. Then the parents just walk away with their heads down.

A few lessons here.

First of all. I only flipped off the girls. Did not say one word. Better to just make a gesture, because any words will just be twisted. You say, “Fuck you,” and the girls will say, “He said come fuck me.” It’s hard to twist a gesture. Besides a gesture is not as bad as words.

Second, come out with a (fake) weapon but don’t be too aggro about it. Act like you’re going to defend yourself.

Third, don’t escalate the situation in the face of provocations. Keep it level. I was going to say, “You sure are a lousy parent letting your kids run loose like this,” but that would have just escalated things. The woman would have gotten really mad, and the Mexican may have felt a need to defend his insulted wife.

The Mexican dude totally respected the whole way I handled it. I handled it just like a Mexican would have. He respects that. But if I got in his face, he would have had to fight me.

This is why social skills are so important. Commenters on here says they doesn’t care about social skills, but this confrontation was all about social skills. You have to say and do exactly the right thing and not say or do the wrong things. If you mess up, things escalate and turn real ugly or weird real quick.

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31 thoughts on “Man World 101: A Potential Fight and How I Dealt With It”

  1. Good job. My problem is not that I don’t understand social skills, but that other, less appropriate ways of acting are so ingrained in my being that even if I can see myself acting as I should not, I go ahead and do it anyway. Plus, when it’s impromptu like that, I sometimes get nervous and forget what to do.

  2. Rob, I’m surprised at how women these days feel free to insult men like this. If she said something like that to me, I’d tell her spic ass that I don’t understand the words coming out of the mouth of a chimpanzee.

        1. Dude, if you aren’t talking to me then don’t reply to my posts.

          Seriously, you should turn the Seung-Hui Cho dial down a notch or two.

        2. I’d like to point out the obvious here.

          The reason David is baiting you all the time is because your anti-Semitism is raw, naked and off the charts. We have other anti-Semites on here, but David leaves them alone. But he goes after you. Because your anti-Semitism is not in sync with the tone of the comments section.

          Do you understand this? This is why he’s doing this to you.

          Another thing. This is an anti-racist blog. We let people say anything in comments, but nevertheless, most commenters don’t dig racial slurs. So if you use racial slurs on here, you’re just going to come across like an ASSHOLE, and you’re going to piss a lot of people off.

          This is why you make people made when you use slurs.

          Just pointing out a couple of things for you to think about.

        1. Well, that’s not the point. The point I think Robert is making is that you use a lot (and frequently, may I add) derogatory names to refer to Jews and other ethnic groups.

        2. Compare the tone and frequency of your anti-Semitism on this blog with that of the other anti-Semites on here, who are more or less undercover. David’s a Jew, and he comments here, and as long as you are out front as like Mr. Number One Enemy of the Jews, you’re just waving a red flag in front of the guy’s face, you know?

          By baiting you, he’s basically telling you to tone it down. That’s the subliminal, nearly non-verbal message he’s conveying.

    1. Are you kidding? If I said that that guy’s wife, that Mexican would be more or less obligated to come fight me, or at least escalate things a lot. And a lot of the other local Mexicans would have gotten in on it too and joined in on his side.

      You talk a tough game, fpy, but have you ever actually told anyone off like this? I’m not sure you understand the consequences of what you are doing.

      1. You talk a tough game, fpy, but have you ever actually told anyone off like this? I’m not sure you understand the consequences of what you are doing.

        Hey, from what FPY’s told us, he’s got a black belt in Tae Kwon Do.

        I’m sure he could kick some ass!

  3. Why do you care what a couple of brats think in the first place. I’ve have kept walking by like they didn’t even exist.

    WTF….I mean seriously, you CARE what *kids* think about you??

    1. Kids don’t talk shit to me! No one does, really. Forget it. Don’t tolerate it. It just emboldens them. They live right near me and this shit has been going on a long time. They can think whatever they want about me, but they don’t talk shit to me. No one does. You do, you die.

      1. Well, Robert, that’s a good attitude to take towards blacks and macho Hispanics, but little kids?

        This whole “if you don’t face people down, this shit never ends” attitude should be used accordingly. There’s a time and place for everything.

      2. Agreed. The only way to stop a bully is to get in his or her face. That usually stops it because the bully does not actually want to be confronted but rather have power over someone else.

        You have to have the belief that you are willing to fight someone bigger than you. And in the words of De niro summarizing a Pesci character, “if he gets beat with his fists, he’ll come after you with a knife; if he gets beat with a knife, he will come after you with a gun; he will keep coming back until someone is in the hospital or motherfucking dead. Because he doesn’t give a fuck.” But just bluff. Come across like you aren’t afraid to fight someone bigger and only do so when you really absolutely have to. With guys and peer groups, it is easier to make friends with an enemy afterwards, as strange as it may sound, if things escalate physically rather than verbally — the natural escalation of the verbal is physical anyway, so it’s better to just go physical right away in many cases. This is coming from a very skinny White guy.

    1. Huh?

      Don’t fuck with me or I’ll fucking kill you. Got it?

      I’ve been like this for decades now.

      Everything’s fine. There’s few conflicts or scenes or anything. Nobody hassles much and everything’s cool.

      I taught school for years and one thing I learned is you don’t take shit from kids. It sets a really bad precedent.

      1. “I taught school for years and one thing I learned is you don’t take shit from kids. It sets a really bad precedent.”

        Yea, I’ve gotta agree with that. But you know, if you knew their parents, you could’ve told them to get their children to stop saying stuff like that.

        1. I don’t know the parents at all, and I don’t want to know them. Those are the people who are always getting the cops called on them. The parents are out of control, so the kids are out of control.

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