Womanizers and Misogyny

I’ve known some record-setting womanizers in my time. Some guys would just amaze you. My friends used to rent a house on the beach in the summer. They had a continuous keg of beer going, and they sold Thai weed all day and nite. That’s when they were not surfing. There was a constant party at the house, with women and girls flowing in and out at all hours. My friend Steve might go through 150-200 women in a single summer. I think he was trying to set a record.

I’ve studied guys like Steve. My conclusion is that these guys genuinely like women. I think most guys don’t like females that much. They’d much rather spend their time with guys. Steve was a very masculine guy, and had guys around all the time, but he also had women around all the time. Most of these guys have no illusions about women. They don’t put them on a pedestal at all. They are well aware of the female, her nature and her limitations and frustrations. But they like them anyway.

Steve hung up on females, called them bitches, on and on. He didn’t put up with any shit from females at all. He was always making them cry. His Mom would say, Steve, she’s crying!” and he’d just grin sheepishly and shrug his shoulders.

Nevertheless, the womanizer doesn’t treat women very well.

So he’s a guy who really loves women, but he doesn’t treat them all that well. Which is sort of weird right there.

I’ve noticed that many of the most notorious womanizers on Earth also have reputations as being horrible misogynists. Which is weird. If they treat women like shit and hate them, why do the masochistic crazies keep coming around?

I finally realized that a lot of these guys have dated hundreds of women and they’ve had sex with hundreds of women (not like me). These guys are drowning in women all the time. They’ve had to deal with so much drama, nuttiness, insanity, etc. that maybe that’s what provoked the misogyny.

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35 thoughts on “Womanizers and Misogyny”

  1. I do agree the “average” guy “likes” women to the degree of finding, obtaining and helping maintain a relationship with one, then prefers the company of men, if only by a modest margin of difference, but usually more than a modest one. Whereas the true womanizer enjoys the company of women significantly more, which to me is not a superior trait, nor necessarily a more transcendentally romantic trait.

  2. I’d like to offer you my explanation. Your friend Steve doesn’t love women. Far from it. Please don’t conclude that the number of women he’s been with – which is disgusting, by the way – equates to love. Nope. Steve, from the description that you gave of him, has a general dislike for women. What he loves, however, is sex! So what he does is he uses women with no civility, respect, or empathy towards them, for sex. After he “hits that,” he has no use for that girl. He couldn’t care less about their feelings, their emotions, their thoughts, and anything else about them. All he cares about is what’s between their legs.

    When the topic of women comes up, aside from the conversation of sex, does he have nothing but negative and harsh things to say about them? I’m not saying that he should only have positive, and glowing words to say about them, like they are perfect angels and can do no wrong, but does he have balanced, healthy, and reasonable talks about women without calling them “bitches” and “whores”? If not, or it’s very, very, very, very, VERY rare, then he is a misogynistic womanizer. He has a terrible mindset about women. His rationalizations for his womanizing more than likely stems from his irrational mindset and beliefs about women, like they’re all gold diggers, whores, and anything else that he ignorantly believes. He really is a misogynist.

    As I’ve said before, he loves sex, so he uses these women to get it. There is nothing wrong with sex within itself, but the fact that he runs through women like water, especially in that summer alone, shows that he has no self control over his behavior, and how reckless he is. It also shows that he only sees women as objects of pleasure and disregard who they are as people, for he doesn’t care about that. It’s characteristic of a psychopath (no, I’m not calling him a psychopath). His love for sex, but his hate for women makes him cold, bitter, and unreasonable. It also makes him sadistic if he gets pleasure from hurting them.

    Those are my two cents! 🙂

  3. I would just wager that your friend Steve was good-looking and tall. Past those two points, women tend to put up with just about anything.

    1. No he wasn’t very tall at all. He was about 5’9 maybe. I am 5’11, and I was taller than he was. He was very very very good looking though, and he had the most magical charisma you could possibly imagine. He was basically a blond surfer God!

      1. Well there you go. If a man is good looking, that is where it ends for women, as long as he’s tall ‘enough.’ Nothing else seems to matter more than maybe, oh…15%…for women. So, if you’re good looking–of course you can ‘like’ women. They throw themselves at you. Plus, you can treat them like shit for the same reason.

        1. You have never known an ugly bloke who got massive play with women? You have never known attractive guys who don’t get laid?

  4. ‘You have never known an ugly bloke who got massive play with women? You have never known attractive guys who don’t get laid?’

    Sure, but exceptions never disprove the general rule. I actually see far more couples where the woman is worse looking than the man than vice versa, to be honest. I know the common stereotype is switched, but I think that’s crap.

    1. Ah, speaking like an atheist in objectifying superficial value are we? I’m afraid being a pretty boy doesn’t actually serve any high evolutionary purpose before the era of mass consumerism. There are still much deeper emotional and behavioral traits that display value far surpassing any benefit of simply appearance. Why traditionally the woman didn’t even really have this choice of selectivity before the last century. Why would someone vouching for the hope of development of lower classes not believe the idea that one can change to develop the personal skills and behavior needed to achieve in the aspect of mating?

      1. Supposedly, the features we find attractive indicate good health, which seems to be important. However, I’m far from well-versed in this area of science.

        As far as personal skills and behavior, I disagree with developing personal skills and behavior in order to become more successful at mating. To me, because they matter so little in mating, develop personal skills and behaviors that -you- enjoy. That reflect who -you- are.

        So, on the one hand, I believe that every man must learn to be a social creature. You must learn to thrive in a social circle, and you must—eventually—learn how to create social circles. But on the other hand, your social self that you develop should, analogically speaking, be your way of ‘selling’ your unique self, instead of a way to get more women. And developing your social self is probably one of the most rewarding journeys you can take. Especially if you do it for yourself and out of a desire to communicate whatever spark or passion that lies within to the world.

        1. I would agree for the sake of society people should focus of developing more productive identities beyond simply bartering with the gene pool. We have enough men creating illegitimate children as it is. The point is appearance isn’t however a good excuse for lack of mating opportunity as a male or female as you still have made a choice to some degree what aspects of yourself to develop and how much of that displays value to the opposite sex. A large portion of our appearance is in our own control anyway.
          In the modern day most women are looking at your shoes as much as your face anyway. Don’t ask me my opinion on how stupid this aspect of consumer culture is but it requires a certain aspect of cooperation in order to reap social benefits. I would rather that selectivity for value be determined by things that have more intrinsic value like discipline, intelligence, or creativity.

          The effects of mass advertizing on the population would indicate that this is not going to be a trend anytime soon.

  5. “They’ve had to deal with so much drama, nuttiness, insanity, etc. that maybe that’s what provoked the misogyny.”

    Their bad treatment of woman probably brings out the drama, nuttiness and insanity, doesn’t it?

  6. ‘In the modern day most women are looking at your shoes as much as your face anyway.’

    Unsure if this is true. However, if you start focusing on things you like to do, and if you focus on living a good life with integrity, you will reap massive rewards.

    Essentially, PUA and ‘Game’ make you into a more attractive person from the top down (starting with superficial social scripts, routines, lines, etc.). What I suggest is going from the bottom, up. Here’s why:

    If you just level with yourself and say ‘I am done with trolling for poon, I am going to work on just going out, having fun, dressing better, getting in shape, etc’ then you are committing yourself to an indefinite amount of time without sex. Even moreso if you commit yourself to refusing to accept anything less than a certain standard/caliber woman.

    By the time you have made noticeable (female attention) improvement, you will have gone enough without women being a big part of your life, that you will naturally give off the apathetic vibe that PUA says is crucial. Further, you will have been in so many social situations, that you will have learned how to reconcile integrity and confronting anyone who violates your personal code, small infraction or large, with the mandatory discretion social situations require. This leads to you naturally doing and saying things that are in the same nature and flavor of PUA.

    Most people are incapable of this journey. And, as much as I hate to admit it…The 48 Rules of Power is probably the best piece of advice about social interactions you will find.

    1. We are on the same page here I wasn’t actually talking about gamey button pushing shit. You are the one who said women went only for attractive guys I was correcting you. Then you come out saying self help stuff that the game types use wtf?

      “Unsure if this is true. However, if you start focusing on things you like to do, and if you focus on living a good life with integrity, you will reap massive rewards. ”
      Personal observation, if you think there are girls that won’t sex you for having nice shoes then maybe you don’t live in Southern California or something lol.

      Did you really just reference Robert Greene? That’s old school bro you are aware he was PUA writer as well right? I still like Napoleon Hill and Dale Carnegie, most self help is just repeating stuff that they said 70 years ago.

      1. Oh, I still believe women mostly only go for attractive guys. Lest I am misunderstood, the above-mentioned journey will only up an individual’s odds by maybe 10-15%. ((Huge in your day to day life, but overall minor)).

        And yes, I have never seen or heard of an actual woman offering a man sex solely because the man had nice shoes. Never.

        As far as Dale Carnegie goes, there’s a problem with him: he’s for beginners. When you have little clue about social dynamics, then yes, the best place to start is HtWFIP. But essentially, that book just says ‘be nice,’ ‘listen,’ ‘become interested.’ That’s a start, but that says nothing about how -YOU- can unleash who you are in an acceptable, attractive social way.

        While it makes negligible difference with women, it will make a difference in your social life, and I believe that that’s really what a lot of individuals crave.

        Plus, as a total aside, most guys would probably say something like ‘I wish I had Steve’s problems’ re: crazy women, but I doubt that’s actually true. Each new rung of social life brings its own challenges and difficulties. Someone like a Steve ((or anyone who suddenly, or gradually, gains more and more female attention)) has to deal with maintaining his reputation. Jilted women will attack your character in any way they can. Further, women, in general—especially interested ones—talk insane amounts of shit. Like, insane. Often based on zero reality. It’s a jungle out there, even if you’re a ‘Brad Pitt’ or ‘Steve’ type.

        1. Steve was always my idol. I always wanted to be like that guy. I even modeled myself after him for a while, and tried to “turn myself into Steve” by sort of “becoming him.” It worked pretty good for a while, but I never wracked up anywhere near the numbers that he did. Females were always crying, pouting, screaming at me, cussing me out or even threatening me. I felt like a terrible person, like a total shit. I kept on doing it, but the guilt was enormous. In order to live like this and get away with it, you have to have little guilt as far as hurting women is concerned. I’m just not good at this stuff.

        2. “Lest I am misunderstood, the above-mentioned journey will only up an individual’s odds by maybe 10-15%. ”

          If you are referring to social dynamics as in becoming a social robot then yes that is largely accurate. If you are referring to how much a man can improve his sex life in a broader scale in general, no their is really no limit. The only cost guys run into with this is once they realize they have lost their soul, identity, and purpose, in having their lives revolve so much around sex they usually hit a bad spot. Not suggestible, but I wasn’t vouching for that lifestyle in general. Merely saying the reality of what a man can improve in this regard is actually very high if he is willing to push those boundaries. If you can become accustomed to being rejected constantly you will already have opened your horizons by a huge margin. No amount of intellectual babble on the subject actually does any justice to going out and meeting new people constantly with a few principles of strength.

          “And yes, I have never seen or heard of an actual woman offering a man sex solely because the man had nice shoes. ”

          I wasn’t saying it was obvious proposition, more like just an obvious conclusion afterward that women are more open and trusting to men whos shoes they like. This isn’t a big enough factor to have a huge influence but is still certainly observable. If you don’t see women looking down at shoes, you aren’t paying attention women at all.
          I don’t however wear nice shoes myself exactly because I don’t want to bring attention from women who actually put a large value in material things such as that.

          “As far as Dale Carnegie goes, there’s a problem with him: he’s for beginners. ”
          Yeah, still simple common sense advice. Useless with women of coarse. You skipped Napoleon Hill and I wasn’t referring to TAGR i was referring to TLOS which is a more extensive and specific.

          “Jilted women will attack your character in any way they can. Further, women, in general—especially interested ones—talk insane amounts of shit. Like, insane. Often based on zero reality. It’s a jungle out there, even if you’re a ‘Brad Pitt’ or ‘Steve’ type.”

          This is really the biggest problem with all self help in general is that you actually stand to become as hated as you are liked. I constantly have a problem with the hate not of women I get with, but the women I don’t get with. An insecure woman will think that you have led them on simply by trying to be confident, friendly, and non-reactive in conversation and quickly becomes fiercely contemptuous if you do not finish the job. It is infuriating in that I don’t know how to not have it happen at this point as the behavior is ingrained in my personality, Everything is a double edged sword, but the real point was that people can in fact improve their situation if the situation is undesirable to them. Looks are not an excuse.

          Were you ever into NLP?

        3. I’d like to point something else out. Trying to live a life like Steve’s, not even actually living his life out but just making an attempt to live that way, which I did for some time with much less success, has one more problem in addition to the endless insanity and drama from females.

          It takes up all your time. It more or less ends up being a fulltime job just chasing women around, phoning them, wooing them, lying to them, mending fences with them and whatnot. Plus if you are going to do this successfully, you have to become one of the world’s biggest liars. If your rule is, “Never lie to a woman,” well, you are just sunk. As soon as you tell them how you are living your life, most of them are gone in a flash. You have to give all of them this big line that they are the one one, really truly and honestly. A lot of times you have a date with Female X and Female Y calls up and says come on over. You have to say, “I’m busy,” or some such shit. Your plans are always getting foiled this way.

          You have something set up with Woman M for Friday, and Female A and Female Z suddenly get in the way. What’s a guy to do? Some fancy footwork indeed is needed!

          When you sit back and think about it when you live this way, it seems like you’re living in the eye of a hurricane. Sure it’s exciting, but it’s also seriously insane!

        4. “It takes up all your time. It more or less ends up being a fulltime job just chasing women around, phoning them, wooing them, lying to them, mending fences with them and whatnot. ”
          Tell a brotha!

          “Plus if you are going to do this successfully, you have to become one of the world’s biggest liars. If your rule is, “Never lie to a woman,” well, you are just sunk. As soon as you tell them how you are living your life, most of them are gone in a flash. ”

          A lot of women do this same thing having like 20 different guys orbiting and calling them at a given time. Don’t put yourself on to high of a standard.

    2. The problem I have with the bottom up development theory is this…

      It’s true that developing yourself from within will gain far better results with women than by starting with the superficial stuff.

      The problem is that the deep rooted stuff can take some serious time to significantly change. Until you change that stuff significantly, you don’t gain success.

      Starting with the superficial stuff get results right away. These results may not be that great or long-term, but they are getting the person something.

      The best option in my opinion is to do both. Start working on the deep rooted issues, and learn “game” at the same time. The immediate results from the “game” will help to boost the inner confidence for the deep stuff.

  7. If everyone gravitates towards a sociopath what exactly is the point of the definition? People in general are sadists? If it is a majority of people it can’t be described as a psychopathology.

    No one hates other women more than women themselves. Does that make them misogynists as well?

    1. People are not sadist; rather, they are lured (tricked) by the charm of these vile people and not necessary by their hidden persona.

      There are simply too many decent, naive and gullible people out there.

      1. Because what, these people lack free will or judgement on who they decide to associate with? Who definition of gullibility is supposed to be the standard? Is anyone theoretically except from such an idea?

        This is promoting the idea of people abandoning responsibility for their own actions and emotional desires. Did marketing trick you into buying a Sham-Wow? Did MacDonald’s make you fat with it’s sociopath lure?

        Go ahead and pretend men aren’t attracted to ‘sociopath’ women themselves.

        1. That’s the thing, some — actually, many — sociopaths are so convincing and charismatic that they make the most shrewd brand manager look inept. If they are handsome or pretty, that’s a powerful tool they have to work with. If you’re easily trusting and very altruistic (i.e. weak, in their world), the easier it will be for them to lure you in.

          Nothing is off limits to them (nothing that won’t get they into trouble, that is). They will play with your emotions, exploit you and downright destroy you to kingdom come. To them, you’re nothing but a tool.

          If I were to define a sociopath, I would say it is a consciousless person always on the hunt for people to exploit to further his own goal, a person that will do anything in his power to keep his victim beneath him, restricting them in anyway possible. If a person has something he wants but can’t get, he’ll do anything he can to destroy him. Confront them about their abuse and either prepare for a shallow apology (they’ll be up to their sick games in no time, as if nothing happened) or for hell.

          A friend of mine lives with someone I deem is a textbook sociopath. On several occasions when he tried to confront this person about the lies and defamation against him, she grabbed his hands and put it on her as if to entice him to hit her. Using her young children to tell the police that she was actually hit, she’s had success getting another victim locked up using this tactic.

          1. Can they turn into vampires as well?

            Not sure how that’s relevant to the person we were talking about.

            Can you figure why your friend chooses to live around such a person?

        2. Not vampires, but werewolves. They are, after all, wolves in sheep’s clothing.

          As for my friend, he lives around such a person because he has nowhere else to go.

  8. ‘No amount of intellectual babble on the subject actually does any justice to going out and meeting new people constantly with a few principles of strength.’

    Yes, playing the numbers game improves your odds. But, what’s working is just increasing your exposure to people who are attracted to you. Game and personality have almost nothing to do with it.

    ‘ If you don’t see women looking down at shoes, you aren’t paying attention women at all.’

    Well, women look at everything. Still though, they mostly look at your face 😀

    ‘Everything is a double edged sword, but the real point was that people can in fact improve their situation if the situation is undesirable to them. Looks are not an excuse.’

    Sure you can improve. But, if someone came to me and said ‘what should I do to improve my odds with women,’ I would say ‘get to the gym, dress better, improve your hygiene.’ Only after they did that, would I even think to say anything about ‘social skills’ or ‘game’ or whatever. Essentially, it’s a numbers game. Which is why, if you make yourself into a social creature and ensure that you’re always meeting new people, the problem takes care of itself.

    Nah, no NLP for me man.

  9. “I finally realized that a lot of these guys have dated hundreds of women and they’ve had sex with hundreds of women (not like me). These guys are drowning in women all the time. They’ve had to deal with so much drama, nuttiness, insanity, etc. that maybe that’s what provoked the misogyny.”

    That’s stereotyping and a bit of victim blaming wrapped into one nice little paragraph. The first is when you posit in the comments further down that all women just inherently act nutty, dramatic, insane, and so forth. The second is when you imply that they brought their own mistreatment onto themselves by being inherently nutty, dramatic, insane, and so forth.

    1. These guys don’t treat women very well, so that’s what sets off a lot of the nuttiness, whackiness, drama, insanity, etc.

      Perhaps you misread me.

      But females act pretty damn kooky from time to time in a relationship no matter how you treat them if you ask me.

      1. if you really think that then there is no point arguing with you bcos u urself hate women. i bet ur probably jealous of steve having all that sex. but u dont want 2 think that he is a bastard or that he’s a misogynist. u wud rather think that women r stupid and “damn kooky.” I see why u 2 r friends u 2 hav smthing in common.

  10. Hi Robert, there is only real true love to be found in the truth, so if anyone is lying, there was and is no real true love. Steve was a misogynist who used sex in an addictive distorted way. The women who were attracted to him had internalized misogyny.

    He used and saw women as objects to own posses have power and control over and be discarded when he no longer wanted that ‘object.’ They were things to him. He wanted to play with them like a toy.

    Steve and these women felt empty and lonely on the inside and were trying to fill that whole of feeling empty. It doesn’t work – it is a temporary fix which leaves both people feeling empty afterwards. Like the addiction of heroin, it will just destroy.

    The women felt unlovable and wanted love. They didn’t believe they were lovable and were looking for love from an external source. Love doesn’t work like that. They hated themselves and felt unlovable so attracted Steve and men like him who also hated them.

    The only path they were going down was destruction.

    Hate attracts hate.

    Think of it like men who hate and want to go to war and conquer and destroy.
    It was power and control sex instead of sex as an expression in the highest form between two people who felt love and wanted to share their highest form of love for each other by connecting and having sex.

    Love is a joyous peaceful feeling of pure BLISS…

    You have to feel this in yourself first then you will attract and be attracted to someone who is also in that place and then share this with each other. Love attracts love. Namaste. When two people are in that place and want to share that with each other through sex, it is heaven on earth.

    Wishing you much love, peace joy and BLISS. x

  11. Thank you, Robert, for boldly approaching this sensitive topic in a philosophical manner instead of mindlessly defaulting to one of the two pre-scripted templates that society has offered. So much of these gender-centered debates cause the logic centers of people’s brains to shut down, leaving people to arrive at “their own” vehement conclusions via the neural pathways of emotion, triggered by stigma-rich buzz words such as “misogyny.” It is no use debating with those who refuse to see their conclusions for what they actually are: free-associations of the most primal nature. Psychology 101. Perhaps my thoughts on the matter (wrong as they may prove!) will at the very least provide a sort of mild amusement, in that I arrived at them by my own conscious devices :)…

    Reading these responses here, I have the eeriest feeling of de ja vu, not in the traditional sense of “I have seen this movie before,” but the sense of “I have seen this movie five hundred eighty six times.. Could somebody please change the damn channel before I wind up caught in the crossfire and covered in mud!?” So catch me if I start to teeter on this limb, but it seems to me that both sides are over-simplifying this subject. Furthermore, I find both sides to be so blinded by their own negative relationship experiences, that they are focusing on all the wrong questions.

    This is not about whether Steve loves or hates women. I am not even sure Steve himself knows the answer to that question. Or whether it’s even relevant to begin with; after all, love and hate are two horns on the same goat. They are mere emotions, which by nature come and go; they are neither concrete nor falsifiable, and therefore cannot be argued with any actual progress. So let’s take a look at what we DO know…

    Steve has a very high sex drive. Obviously. I am going to go further out on this limb here and assume that this is because he is an alpha male. Alpha males are pretty much wired to breed, ergo the huge sex drive. They cannot help this. They will either follow their instincts and have sex, or internalize the frustration and turn into something worse than “misogynistic.” Therefore, Steve has a few options here: he can become monogamous with (let’s face it) WHOEVER he so chooses and have sex everyday and twice on Sunday with the same woman, OR he can have the equivalent amount of sex with numerous partners commitment-free because he considers either himself or the female species as a whole unfit for a relationship and not worth the effort. If he chooses the latter, he still has his innate sex drive to contend with.

    While I think Steve does have psychological issues regarding trust, I really see nothing misogynistic about this. If he had a faithful girlfriend or wife and STILL whored around? Now THAT is misogynistic. But these women CHOOSE to have sex with him, knowing that he’s this surfing, partying, drug-dealing dude with beautiful beach bunnies in and out of his pad all day. I’m sorry, sweethearts, but you can’t be a victim of consensual sex. Maybe these women pursued him as a vanity boost. Or maybe they were just horny. Or perhaps they were so narcissistic as to actually believe that they would be the one woman this stud absolutely couldn’t live without. They played the role of the fool, or perhaps the slut, and have instead chosen to paint themselves as victims to evade all personal responsibility for their own poor judgment (I mean, really, you didn’t see THAT guy coming from a mile away?!) A TRUE feminist, who actually believes in equal STANDARDS between men and women, would not in her right mind call these women “victims” any more than a TRUE misogynist would call Steve one.

    If victims at all, these women are victims of a society that spoon feeds them the constant bullshit message that they deserve to have their cake and eat it too. The modern woman wants to rope in the Alpha, because damnit if she does not deserve him… While simultaneously feeling entitled to a man who will kiss her ass, never tell her when she’s wrong, never raises his voice, never demand to be respected, allows her to use sex as a weapon, lets her make all the decisions, lets her nag and deride him about petty matters, turns the other cheek when she brags to her friends about how “whipped” her man is, calls her beautiful no matter how fat she becomes, gives her control of the finances so she can spend every last dime on her own “image management”, etc etc etc…

    SORRY LADIES! What you’re looking for is TWO men, because no one man can give you the best of both worlds. Turn off the chick flicks and “reality” t.v. You can humble yourself with an Alpha, or get your ass kissed by a Beta. But you can’t have both. And for cripes sake, can we stop demonizing man whores while victimizing the female ones? All that double standard accomplishes is creating more of BOTH!

    And there you have it. I set off on this journey to bring some calm reason to this debate and discovered that I too am not above the mud slinging. I’m going to wash off now. Pleasure as always…

    -Chelsea

    “Every pleasure has an edge of pain, so pay for your ticket and don’t complain” –Bob Dylan

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