How Black and Hispanic “Values” Clash with White Middle Class Upbringing

Referring to the video here, a commenter disagrees that the people on the show were out of line to ask the White woman why she won’t date Blacks. He also denies that they said she was racist:

One again, did he actually use the word racist? I listened to that dialogue again and I did not hear it. At 8:48 he says something like “well that…” and then it becomes intelligible. Then all I could hear is “why?”

I also heard him say, “not everybody is going to be attracted to the opposite race…” We’ll forget for the moment that there’s no such thing as “an opposite race”, but he did seem to acknowledge that some will just prefer their own. All he asked is why.

1. They didn’t need to say she was racist. It was implied.

2. They should not have asked her why in the first place. I mean, in White culture, you ask a question like that, and people will look at you like, “What the Hell kind of question is that!?” And everyone can read that body language.

You know, I was not brought up that way. Would I ask some Black woman to go out with me (assuming I wanted to take her out), then badger her if she didn’t want to, then ask her why, then say she was racist for not dating me? I mean, in the White bread world I was brought up in, that is like the nadir of outrageous, audacious rudeness. You’re not “acting White.” You’re “acting like a nigger.”

But Black guys do this all the time. Ask White women out, badger them when they say no, then say they are racist for saying no.

Do you realize what White middle class socialization is like? We are brought up, and there’s like a million rules about every little stinking thing. It drives you mad just to keep track of them all the time and not be constantly violating them. Chronic violation of the rules leads to ostracization, rejection, not getting hired, firings, all kinds of bad shit. So you learn or you’re an outcast.

Violation of a lot of these rules, it is implied, is called, “Acting like a Black or a Mexican.” IOW, it’s low class. White people don’t act that way. Or, good White people don’t act that way. Trailer trash? Sure, but they’re hardly White. They are barely above the Blacks and the Mexicans. In some cases, worse.

In fact, even in White liberal environments, you will hear people say, often laughing, “Don’t do that! That’s not the White thing to do.” “That’s not White. That’s not a White way of acting.” That’s what, “Hey, that’s mighty White of you!” means. It means you are acting like an upstanding White person.

Now. Is there an implied supremacism behind that? Sure. But if supremacism is what it takes to get your group to act good, I say go for it. I would love it if Blacks would shame their kids who act bad, saying, “Don’t do that! You’re acting like a White person! How disgusting! Act like a proud Black person instead.” Indeed, this is part of the Afrocentrist mindset.

Now, maybe Blacks think we are a bunch of uptight nerds who keep dropping turds in the punch bowl and spoiling all the fun. Perhaps we are, I have no idea.

But I’m pointing this out to show you how profoundly offensive a lot of Black and even Hispanic behavior is to White bread, middle class suburban Whites. I mean, you were brought up that you don’t do these 100,000 and one things on near penalty of death. Then you see non-Whites not only doing this stuff, but doing it unapologetically, refusing to apologize when called on it, and even seeming to glory in it.

It’s so offensive to us it’s beyond words. It’s appalling.

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28 thoughts on “How Black and Hispanic “Values” Clash with White Middle Class Upbringing”

  1. “They should not have asked her why in the first place”

    Robert, it’s a talk show, and a format geared to discuss controversial subject matter at that. It’s quite an appropriate environment in which to ask probing questions. If nobody on a day time talk show asked probing questions, there’d be about 5 minutes of dialogue.

    As for such behavior not being part of white middle class culture, are you sure about that? What about all those white party schools, and getting women drunk or on drugs to screw them, and campus date rapes. What about all the white guys now using PUA game to be aggressive with women? You seem to have some sort of British gentleman type stereotype of white men. Turn on one of those reality dating shows on MTV and you might be in for a surprise. Or go to Daytona beach during spring break and you’ll see tens of thousands of white guys being aggressive, drunk horndogs doing anything they can to get a one night stand.

    1. I agree with Tulio.

      I think the stereotype of whites being the Victorian British gentleman is very harmful. Heck, when he was describing middle class white culture, it sounded like he was describing stereotypical, rigid Japanese protocol.

      I think one of the reason certain white kids lash out and become school shooters (or engage in other deviant behaviors. To clarify, there are plenty of black serial killers as well, and whites hardly have a monopoly on such behavior, but I digress) is because they grow up in such a stagnant and regulated environment.

      Men (and yes, I’m primarily referring to my own group, white males here) were not meant to live in the monotony of suburbs.

      Of course, I live in suburbia (I’m not sure of the exact demographics, but it’s about half white, half non-white [Asian], so it’s not necessarily a white neighborhood) and I don’t engage in such behavior (oops, I jinxed it!).

      I do think that middle class white culture does need to change and become more innovative, exciting, and engaging.

      That being said, this is hardly an endorsement of black cultural values.

      1. I think Tulio a while back remarked that whites used to be crazier and more expressive, and that now they’re afraid of everything and have all these rigid rules.

        I’m inclined to agree with that assertion.

        We need to go back to being the crazy, unafraid, unapologetic SOB’s we used to be!

    1. If you:

      1. Look White

      2. Act White

      You’re White.

      They more or less fail #2.

      The “White Blacks” I discussed earlier are practically Whiter than those White trash types.

      In a lot of ways, White is a state of mind, baby.

      😉

      1. Oh. White isn’t necessarily genetic, then. But “good behavior” is White.

        How come Whites get to own “good behavior”?

        1. Cuz we said so, that’s why.

          The non-Whites could own a part of it too, if only they would start acting better. Come to think of it, the Asians already do that.

          Really, any group can own good behavior. Just say that acting good is part of what it means to be Black, Hispanic, Polynesian or whatever, and proceed from there.

          Blacks don’t think acting good is part of being Black? That’s their fault.

        2. Because you said so?

          So what White people say is Truth? And the rest of us are to go along with it, whether we like it or not?

          Fascinating.

        3. Alpha, I think Robert was being tongue-in-cheek.

          Or at least I hope so.

          While I value proper behavior, particularly in public, I do think that whites need to let loose a little more in a safer environment.

          In order to release their pent up energy, too many whites engage in risky behavior (such as drunk driving, binge drinking, drug use, etc).

          Yes, there’s certainly room for the Victorian white gentleman, but white culture should also entail having more of a good time.

          Also, keep in mind, you’re mainly talking about upper class suburban parents.

          Neither you nor I can speak for 200 million white Americans. White culture is not monolithic, and neither you nor I have an automatic in with the values and behavior of all other white Americans.

          That being said, a good number of the traits you listed are at least partially accurate.

        4. Works like this:

          Whites decide that a huge, almost uncountable set of behaviors is part of acting White. It’s not necessarily all acting good, there’s a lot of other stuff too. For instance, a friend of mine and I were talking the other day. He said, “You know, you and I could go to some rich millionaire White person’s house with a bunch of rich White people there and get along fine. Because we know how to act around people like that, so we would act accordingly. Because we are White.

          1. Arbitrarily decide that a certain set of behaviors is part of what it means to be part of the group.

          2. Socialize the group members, often brutally, into acting this way.

          You don’t own the behaviors or anything like that. Any other group can claim them too. But those behaviors are part of what it means to be part of your group.

          For instance, tipping is the White thing to do. You tip. Whites sit around at the end of the meal and calculate the precise tip. I can hardly think of a case where service or food was so bad that no tip or even a low tip was left.

          I have heard from many restaurant workers that Blacks are notoriously poor tippers, and many do not even tip at all.

          One time I was out in this coffee shop with this Hispanic friend of mine, who was apparently socialized in a barn. He grabbed the NY Times without paying for it and started reading it. After a bit, he opened it up and started reading inside. I chided him. I think I even told him that that’s not the White thing to do.

          The White thing is that while you can read the paper without paying for it, you only do so quickly while waiting for your order, *and you only read the front page*. You rip through it as quickly as possible, then you put it back. If you want to read inside the paper, you fuckin buy it.

        5. So what White people say is Truth? And the rest of us are to go along with it, whether we like it or not?

          Yep, to us it is. We’re not talking to anyone else. The rules are only for Whites.

          And the rest of us are to go along with it, whether we like it or not?

          You’re not part of the conversation. Anyway, you act pretty damn White yourself. I heard your voice on the phone. Whiter than most White women. Hehe. We can almost let you in. Arbitrary member only, mind you. Interested?

      2. Robert, exactly what do you mean by acting white? I didn’t know whites had a monopoly on acting a certain way. Similar to what Alpha unit said, acting a certain way is not necessarily genetic.

        1. We don’t have a monopoly on it. We just think that acting a certain way is part of acting like a White person. Many other groups that various ways of acting proper are part of what it means to act like one of them too. Asians are notorious for that.

          Of course it’s not genetic. Whites realize that. The reason so many Whites act properly is because they have had it socialized into them in an experience similar to a Marine boot camp. They had it psychologically pummeled into them. The experience is ongoing. I still deal with it, cuz I’m sort of a bad boy. Especially my sense of humor.

          We don’t own good or any kind of behavior. We just think that that sort of behavior is part of what it means to be part of our group.

          Any other group can own any or all of these “White” behaviors too. Just grab a piece and call it your own.

          1. Excellent, Robert. Now if only everyone else would recognize it! And stop following me around when I go into department stores!

  2. Me acting white? Well, truth be told, you’re not the only one that has said this. Jamaicans, Africans, whites, East Asians and Indians — they’ve all called me white, and it pisses me off!! Why does acting like myself have to be branded as acting white?

    I haven’t even been follower of mainstream white things. I haven’t even had a lot of whites friends.

    But what you said does makes sense. Although, when people say that to me, I always take it to mean that I am mimicking whites. That is, I wouldn’t be the way I am today if I hadn’t learned from White people, which is ridiculous.

  3. They should not have asked her why in the first place. I mean, in White culture, you ask a question like that,

    You mean American white culture, because Americans are very different from their European cousins.

    I’ve traveled to a few European countries and there are major differences among Europeans. From the way they look to what they eat.

    Most Europeans, especially the French look at Americans as being a very nosy intrusive people because of the sort of personal questions Americans ask.

    ex. In the Netherlands(esp) I saw few brown eye whts.

  4. Trailer trash are VERY much white. Most whites are low-class. Look at Paris Hilton, the epitome of the “upper” class whites. You are not above Blacks or Hispanics–maybe in your own heads, but you’re delusional.Trailer trash? Sure, but they’re hardly White. They are barely above the Blacks and the Mexicans. In some cases, worse.

  5. It’s clear Robert Lindsay is just perpetuating the white supremacy attitude that whites have been pushing for the past 600 years.

    He’s convinced that he, as a white man, can monopolize ‘good’ and ‘bad’ behavior, and dictate what is white, and we’ll accept it.

    When I see girls exposing their crotch, breasts and getting drunk and stumbling out of a club, I call that “Acting white”– it’s a behavior synonymous with whites.

    Pedophilic behavior = acting white, too.

    To be racist is to act white, also.

    1. Hey Mel, two can play this game.

      Knocking up a woman and then leaving her to raise an illegitimate child = acting black.

      Shooting someone over a pair of sneakers or a parking space = acting black.

      Getting into fights left and right = acting black.

      Gang rape (like what happened to that 7 year old) = certainly a black thing as well.

      See, I can generalize as well!

      Most whites are low class?! please!

      Perhaps in your own anti-racist fantasy world. Where would people rather live? Seattle, Portland, and SF (heavily white and Asian), or Detroit, Baltimore, and Oakland (mainly black and brown)?

      I think we all know the answer to that question.

      Spare me your tired anti-racist screeds.

    2. I am very happy that you view trashy, uncivilized and criminal behavior as White. Pls communicate this to as many Blacks as possible. Label as many pathological behaviors as possible as “White” and encourage Blacks to not act like those sleazy and uncivilized Whites. They’re Black, and they deserve better than those lowly Whites.

      I would actually love to see Blacks doing this, and I encourage as many Blacks as possible to do just this.

      PS. Blacks apparently molest children at approximately 2X the rate Whites do.

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