This is a pretty interesting bit of writing, on the Schizophrenia.com website under “Success Stories.” I guess they don’t moderate the site since this poor woman is anything but a success story. She’s severely ill in fact, and this becomes clear. I would wager this is a case of paranoid schizophrenia again. It looks like it hit after age 27, which is pretty late. She had good function before then.
I had graduated in Business and Finance from Leicester Polytechnic and had worked in London ever since. I joined Manpower (an employment agency) as a Sales Supervisor, the left to sell computers, then went back as a Training Manager, running 3 training centres in Central London.
As you can see, before she was ill, she was functioning quite well. Then she started using a lot of cannabis, and everything just fell apart.
I started smoking a lot of Cannabis with a friend, Jeannette. This was when the world turned on its axis. Before during meditation I had felt the presence of something. A finger manipulating my third eye, a still small voice giving me words of encouragement. Now the world spiritually was against me and the universe was trying to tell me something. It started with the world trying to teach me a lesson.
After that, the poor woman is seriously ill. The delusions have a lot to do with mediation, yoga, chakras, etc. but this is the stuff she was into before she got ill. Whatever you were into before you got ill might end up being gist for the delusional mill.
When I first started reading, I noticed that she seemed to be getting raped by men or possibly her doctors. After you read a more, it’s clear that no one is raping her at all. She’s also never been kicked in the vagina. Her delusions and hallucinations have a lot of sexual content.
I’m not sure what that means, but it’s pretty common among female schizophrenics. Promiscuous women are seen as bad women and sluts, so her hallucinations and delusions are centered around her being a “whore.” The schizophrenia will just pick up on anything around that is bad and play it up full volume.
Male schizophrenics often have delusions and hallucinations about being homosexuals, because being a gay male is seen as bad, failure, etc. in an analogous way that a promiscuous woman is seen as bad, failed, etc. The schizophrenia just picks up on whatever you fear most and then blasts that into your ear all the time.
At the time that she wrote this, she is seriously ill, and the meds do not seem to be making her any better.
Her writing is pretty chaotic, which suggests the undifferentiated type of schizophrenia, yet her premorbid functioning is more typical of the paranoid variety. Ultimately, these subtypes don’t seem to matter much.
But the next time you come across writing that looks like this, if you’ve been paying attention, you know what and only what diagnosis comes screaming off the pages.