New Alpha Unit. I’m the one who put the question to AU, “What is it with feminists and rape anyway? It’s all they ever talk about. They’re like a skipping record.” This is her response, and I think she’s onto something. When will men quit raping women in the US? Never. When will women be able to walk around anywhere in the US without fear of being raped? Never. That’s the reality, and all the feminist screeching is never going to change a thing.
First of all, I have to admit something.
I have never been raped. As I’ve stated earlier, I’ve put myself in harm’s way, particularly as a very young woman. But I’ve never been raped. So I don’t know what it’s like to be forced into sex. I don’t know what goes through a person’s mind when this is happening, and I don’t know what that person goes through afterward.
But the question has been put to me: Why do some feminists focus so much on rape? Is being raped any worse than some of the stuff men go through?
Clearly there are worse things in life than rape. Murder, for instance. Is there anyone who would say, “I’d rather be murdered than raped”? But rape continues to be of pressing concern in the “war” between men and women. Behind all the sound and fury concerning rape is something a lot of women simply find hard to acknowledge. It is fear. Women fear men. They don’t like knowing this, and they won’t admit it, some of them. But fear of men is what drives all this angst over rape. Isn’t this apparent?
Feminism has done a lot to change the thinking of women. But to the dismay of many of them, it hasn’t done much to change men. And this is problematic. This whole issue of rape is what makes it clear that on the most fundamental levels, nothing has changed. Women still have to be on guard with men they don’t know. They still can’t walk around at night all alone. They still have to actually look out for their safety, because that nice guy who seems so harmless right now could be up to no good.
He might slip something into your drink. He might use “game” on you to get you to do what he wants. He might get into your house on some pretext and then, once inside, rape you.
When are women going to be able to feel at ease? To walk around freely without fear of being attacked?
When will a woman be able to go to the hotel room of a man she doesn’t know and be assured that nothing bad will happen? Or get wasted at a party and be assured that she will be left in peace?
Not any time soon, it seems. It seems there is still reason to be afraid.
And who wants to be afraid all the time? It’s humiliating to realize that you are afraid of someone. Or afraid of a certain group of people. Having to pretend you are unafraid isn’t much better. Demanding that those people stop scaring you is worse.
What’s even crazier is insisting that you have some kind of right to go through life unafraid or unmolested. You can believe you have such a right; in fact, you can insist on it. But other people are not necessarily going to comply with your wishes. In some places you can expect people to agree with you. But in other places people won’t agree with you at all.
Most people in this world don’t know you. Most don’t care about you. It is foolish to assume that strangers will uphold your own notions of reality.
Women are always going to have to be careful, or even defensive, in their dealings with men they don’t know. This is just a fact. Do some of these angry, rape-obsessed women actually believe a day will come when people have no reason to fear other people?
These women aren’t really crazy. They’ve already decided on a “solution” to this problem. Yes, they berate men for their brutishness. But look behind the outcry and what you’ll see is a demand that men protect women.
Yes, protect us! In any sexually charged encounter with a woman, it doesn’t matter what the woman is saying; she may not realize what she’s saying, or she may say something she really doesn’t want to say. And it doesn’t matter what she does before, during, or after the encounter; she may not really mean what she’s doing. It’s up to you, the man, to look out for her interests, protect her, and make sure she’s safe. And happy with the outcome.
Because men have a duty not to harm women and to keep them safe!
We’ve come full circle.