Why Are So Many Linguists Queer?

I guess I already know the answer to this question, right? I went through a Master’s program in Linguistics at the university recently. At various points in the program, fully three of our male professors were queer, or at least they sure seemed like they were. One was fully out, a visiting professor from the Netherlands. The others, I guess not, but you could figure out they were queer anyway – it’s not that hard. There were a few female professors in the program, and none of them were lesbians.

I’m now hanging out on some language learning sites. Some of them are for fanatical language learners, the people who learn languages the way the rest of us take up hobbies. I’m sort of dismayed at the number of queers on the sites. They’re really out, open and blatant too. Some of the guys who aren’t queer are openly bi. Once again, all the chicks are straight.

This is kind of bugging me because I’m good at languages.

Females are generally better at language, right? And males are generally better at math/science. Queers apparently have brains that are feminized in some way, which is what makes them queer. So male queers, having feminized brains that are more like a woman’s brain, are more likely to be good at language stuff, literature, poetry, language learning, etc.

With the females, there’s no similar trend towards homosexuality since women who are good at language just have super feminized brains. Theoretically, those are the straightest chicks of them all. Which is pretty much what you see in your Linguistics and Lit classes. Really straight, conservative, schoolteacherish type chicks. Super-feminine.

Another thing is I like to cook, being a bachelor and all. Well, I turn on the damned cooking channel and I swear have the guys on there are queer. Have chefs and cooks always been a bunch of queers? I thought there was a time when chef was a noble, manly occupation, or am I wrong? So I’m standing there doing my stir-fry thinking what’s the matter with me, anyway?

I guess I’m a bit dismayed at the way queers seem to be taking over entire professions and areas of life. It seemed like there was a time when a masculine, manly guy could play the piano, speak several languages, read and write poetry and prose, etc etc. And if you wanted to go down to the tavern, the lumbering fellow in the back could cook up a mighty fine stew for the patrons.

Now all these areas of male life are more or less fagged out, and most regular guys act like they just tasted sour milk if you even suggest they take up one of these avocations.

I’m all for gay rights, but is it normal for me to be upset about this?

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19 thoughts on “Why Are So Many Linguists Queer?”

  1. so far as cooks and chefs being queer…i think that’s not true at all. i can think of a few guys right off the bat that are chefs and are not queer. i have also been watching top chef and i don’t think most of the guys on there (the contestants anyway) are queer.

    tv is not for straight guys anymore, there’s no action. watching tv is like laying back and getting fucked in the eyes. there’s no action. so i guess it’s just older guys and gay guys watching tv.

    i always look to the programming and advertising to figure out these things. the people who plan what to put on tv, they have thought about it a LOT. they’re smart and really don’t make a lot of mistakes.

    1. Ok, a friend of mine watching the cooking channels and he said a lot of the male hosts on there are queers. I would hate to work in that field. I bet it’s swarming with queers. Sucks.

      It pisses me off. I long for the day when a really strong, masculine, super macho guy could do all his macho stuff and then come home, cook a gourmet meal, sit down and play a classical musical instrument, read a book in a foreign language, and maybe even write a great poem. Seems like in the old days there was a Renaissance Man who did all this stuff. If you were upper class elite, this was expected of you.

      Now all this stuff seems to be mostly for queers and normal straight guys run for the hills if you bring it up. Kind of pisses me off. Sometimes I think the old days were better.

    2. Robert,

      I agree. I’ve often thought about this. When I was growing up, it was assumed that women were shallow, addle-brained idiots. Now it’s assumed that straight men/boys are. Proof, I think, that people will live up to the lowest standard you set for them. Whenever anyone repeats those current stereotypes about “guys,” I just ask, “Which guys are you talking about? Plato? St. Francis of Assisi? Shakespeare?” This usually shuts them up. I guess I’ve lost my sense of humor on the topic. I can’t imagine what it’s like to grow up as a young man today with any kind of high personal standards.

      As for TV, yes, it’s like men don’t exist at all. Literally everything is about women. Even issues like male unemployment are framed in terms of how they affect women.

    3. Of course TV courts female audiences, except on weekends when men watch sports. Who’s easier to convince to buy things they don’t need?

      Steve Sailer has written that what we’re currently experiencing is an estrogen-driven recession. Who motivates the buying of McMansions (even if spouse goes along to make partner happy)? Who did all those empty storefronts in malls used to sell to?

      Until three years ago, we used to hear a lot about how women were the primary economic engine and that they made 80% of buying decisions. Now that we know America was over-spending at the time, you seldom hear about it any more.

  2. I often wonder why male flight attendants are all gay. Never figured that one out, because if you’re a straight guy, you could live like a jet-set playboy with a girlfriend in every city. Plus getting to flirt and have sex with the female flight attendants. So why aren’t more straight guys wanting to be flight attendants?

    1. Are they really gay? That’s interesting. A friend of mine went off to become a flight attendant at age 21 and that was the last I ever heard of him. He was straight.

      You know, I’m poor, so I never fly on airplanes, though I have been on a couple of them. So it’s true then? Most flight attendants are queer? Strange. So many hot chicks too.

    2. Female flight attendants don’t date/mate with male flight attendants any more than female cheerleaders date/mate with male cheerleaders.

    3. I’m sure some of the female flight attendants hook up. They are constantly away from home, and if they are single, they probably get lonely and horny always being away from home. I’d think it would be like shooting fish in a barrel

  3. the obvious answer is that gay guys are looking to fill out their scorecards…”i fucked an Italian speaker. a Spanish speaker, a guy that spoke Norwegian, and one that spoke Finnish.”

    along the same lines…I believe any woman that says she loves to travel REALLY means she likes to go to foreign countries to sample the men.

    who can blame them?

    1. I think you are onto something. There’s queers on the site and they are always saying, “I learned this language the easy. I slept with it. My ex-boyfriend spoke Spanish.”

      There’s got to be more too it than that, though. Women are more verbal than men, queers are more like women than regular guys. Hence, queers are more verbal.

    2. It occurs to me that I listed Plato as an example of a “guy” who didn’t fit the 21st century American knuckledragger stereotype of masculinity. But like most ancient Greeks, he probably played for both teams at the very least, didn’t he?

    3. I don’t know about Plato, but I could almost respect it if he did. The Greeks venerated maleness and masculinity the way a really macho American guy does. But the Greeks had no concept of homosexuality being effeminate.

      Instead, homosexuality was like this uber-macho thing to do. Women were basically seen as inferior and repressed, and sex with women was sort of degraded as inferior coupling. The highest form of sex was between two members of the superior gender, two guys!

      It’s not so much queer sex that bothers me. I don’t really care about that. It’s the effeminate nature of queers these days that I dislike. If queers acted like NASCAR dudes instead of mincing queens, I’d have to re-evaluate the way that I feel about them.

    4. I guess my issue with it is that it has made so many aspects of life and culture “no straight men allowed” zones. I think you allude to this also. Things like arts, culture, reading, cooking, in recent years, even working out.

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