Sexmaniacman just told me the following:
Hey Bob, a woman just told me that I have a take it or leave it attitude. I was interested, but obviously, I said, “Yeah, so what?” Then she said, “See? That was take it or leave it right there.” I said, “Sure, I know. So what.” Then she said that was what she loved about me (this take it or leave it attitude that she says she actually dislikes), and then mentioned how she wants to have sex with me.
For some reason, I thought, “Ho-hum, she wants to have sex with me, yawn.” And I like this woman. But this “I can take it or leave it” attitude towards sex feels really liberating. Make them work for it. I’m a privileged catch and you have to work to get me. I think women really despise guys who crawl all around trying to kiss up to them and accommodate them.
I never realized I had such a dicky attitude, but I think it’s the best. On the other hand, you should also try to be accommodating to others to some extent, and I do.
I’m reading this guy’s blog here, which is all about picking up chicks. It’s for young guys in their 20’s who are upper middle class yuppies. Everyone else needn’t bother to read.
I disagree with some of the stuff he says, but he does have some good points.
He says never complain about a lousy kiss from a woman. I disagree. You go to kiss a woman at the end of the date and she turns her cheek and lets you peck her cheek. Lean back and say, “Wow,” real sarcastically.
Most of the time, that will get her back up and she’ll start kissing you for real. If that doesn’t work, make fun of her. Say, “You call that a kiss? Where’d you learn how to kiss? You don’t even know how to kiss.” But say it humorously, not angrily.
Women actually like to be provoked. It works pretty good to suggest they can’t kiss worth a crap or they are probably frigid and lousy in bed. That’s a direct challenge, and a lot of the time, they will respond to it by showing you, “Damn right I know how to kiss/fuck, etc, baby!”
The mistakes he is talking about are guys who don’t know how to read women. You have to read women. You need to be an expert in verbal and nonverbal communication. I’m still learning this stuff every day, and I figure it’s a Lifetime Course. I can’t emphasize this strongly enough, because you really do need to learn this stuff in order to deal with women.
Here the guy asks his date to kiss him. I’ve always thought that’s the stupidest thing in the world to do. Never ask a new woman if she wants to have any kind of sex act. Don’t even ask your girlfriend if she wants to have sex. Let her ask you or take the initiative.
I’ve always just been a Rapist and an Attacker. I just grab at them or needle them with my feet or make rude sexual remarks. I always make a big joke out of it and I’m laughing and screwing around the whole time.
It’s hit or miss that way, but I’ve had sex with scores of women. The only new woman you should ask if she wants to have sex with you is a whore. Any other female is probably going to say no, and they don’t get better as they get older.
Generally, you have to wait until you get the proper signals that it’s ok to assault her. You might have to wait a while. The signals might never come, in which case you probably don’t assault her. Just figure she’s a lost cause and don’t date her anymore.
If you try to assault her and she pushes you away or threatens to call the cops (Yes, it’s happened to me) just shrug your shoulders, forget about her, and then act mildly put out the rest of the night. She’ll feel bad and try to make up for it. Act like, “Gimme one reason why I should date you again?” Not angry or anything, just “take it or leave it.”
Assault can be very soft, slow-motion and tender, like a movie that’s in slow motion, or you can just push her up against the wall and kiss her really hard. I’ve done both many, many times, and I do recommend this approach.
Bob, I remember one time I was out with this rock band. I was trying to screw the lead singer, whose name was Ann.
I won’t give you the name of the band because there were sort of big around LA for awhile (she’s still kind of famous and there are pics of her on the Net)and this might get back to me.
I just Googled her and it turns out that later she went solo and formed her own band and released some albums. She also played with some of the big LA punk bands. You can order her records on Amazon and some other places. She’s still performing up til 1989, then she’s gone.
There was another woman there, Linda, and I’d already had sex with her, but now we were sort of through. I think Linda and Ann were having sex at some point.
They were all a bunch of goth rockers and I was a punker with a leather jacket and an attitude. The goth guys were mostly fags or bi or might as well have been. If you were good looking, confident, cocky and didn’t act like a total queer, you could clean up with the goth chicks, who were mostly bi themselves, by the way.
You just had to play this role of arrogant, old-fashioned guy disgusted by all the rampant homo/bi-sexuality in the scene. The chicks all thought that mean and horrible and disgusting, but then they wanted to have sex with you too, because you know, you were really the only real man around.
I was in the back seat in a car full of this punk band’s members, and I kept reaching up in front and grabbing Ann. She was reaching back and we were playing games with fingers and grabbing or some shit.
Everyone else was talking and watching us like, “What are they doing, anyway?” I was partly doing this to piss off Linda, and she didn’t like it too much. But she wasn’t putting out anymore anyway, so I was a free man, and she needed to avert her eyes and shut up.
We were walking into this Denny’s at like 2 AM and I finally realized how pissed I was at Ann. She’d been teasing me like this for way too long. As we walked into the doorway, I suddenly grabbed her and shoved her up against the wall and kissed her real hard. Then, just as quickly, I let her go and smiled like nothing had happened.
The whole party (the band members) was like, “Whoa!”
Linda asked with a weird smile, like I was acting extremely weird, “Sexman, what do you think you are doing?”
Duh. What do you think I’m doing? Ann acted like she didn’t know what hit her, but she liked it of course. The guys in the band were like, “Whoa, this dude’s hardcore, man.”
We went to the table and everyone made sure Ann was out of reach of me because now I was a confirmed public assaulter-rapist, and they didn’t want any more scenes. But Ann was smiling and chatting me up the whole meal.
It’s good to give women orders too, Bob. Have you ever done that? Do. I picked up this woman in a bar once within like three minutes of walking into the joint. It was a place called the Anti-Club in Hollywood. It was 1985, the show was Christian Death, and it was too awesome.
Three minutes, I bought her a drink, had my arm around her and was feeling her up. We left the club for a while, drove around and sort of had sex in the car while driving around Hollyweird, then went back to the club.
At the end of the show, the date had gone sour, and she tried to ditch me.
I looked at her and said, “Hey, look, you don’t understand. You’re not going home with them. You’re going home with me.” Smiling the whole time.
That got her back up good. “Oh yeah? Who says?”
“Says me.” Still smiling.
“Wait a minute. Let me try something.” She tells me to stand up straight on the sidewalk and looks me up and down lasciviously for about a minute like it’s some kind of test.
“OK,” she said. So I drove her home from LA to Orange County and we managed to have sex in the car on the 5 Freeway in downtown LA going 55 miles an hour at 2 AM, which is always interesting.
She had the same name as my Mom. I told her that, and she acted disgusted, like, “Fuck your Mom, you wimp. Obviously you’re abnormally attached to her.”
Another time I had a new woman in my bedroom. I had her top off and was feeling her tits.
She whimpered, in this totally lame voice, “Please let me go home.”
Obviously she didn’t mean it.
I said, “No way, you’re staying right here.” Not real psycho-like, but firm nevertheless.
She was free to leave, as the cops say, and her car was in the driveway. At some point there was an argument.
I said, “Get over on that bed right now.” Same way, not real crazy, but firm nevertheless. She was free to say no.
Of course, she scurried over to the bed very obediently like a little puppy. Then, later, at some point, she didn’t want to have sex or something.
I just got out of bed, walked over to the couch and said, “Fine, if you don’t want to fuck, I’ll just sleep on the couch. You sleep on the bed. See you in the morning.”
And closed my eyes.
Not two minutes went by and I heard this little bird chirping, “Come on over to the bed.” You can guess what happens next.
So a proper mixture of assertiveness and indifference can sometimes work wonders.
I’m sitting here, Bob, thinking that I have to get rid of this take it or leave it attitude, but the major part of me says, “Who cares? This is the way I am, and I’m not out to kiss up to or accommodate everyone else. This is me and this is my style, like it or not, I’m not making any major changes to suit you or anyone else.”
This Roissy guy is going on and on about alpha males and beta males. I confess I don’t get it. What’s the difference? Do betas get lots of women, or is that impossible? I have a huge ego, I strut around like a rooster, I’m cocky and vain, and I think I’m Joe Hotshot With the Chicks and King of the World combined, even though it’s not true at all anymore. So is that alpha or what? I’m not sure I understand what he’s getting at.