As many of you are aware, this site was shut down for about a day or two over the weekend by WordPress. The problem was a video called “Human Beasts.” It’s not available on the site anymore, as WordPress removed it, saying that it’s way beyond anything that they can host on the site. Honestly, I don’t blame them one bit! It’s one of the worst videos on the Internet. Two teenage boys went on a murder rampage in the Ukraine and killed 21 people in one month in Summer 2007. The filmed some of the homicides. The movies were used against them at the trial, but somehow one of the movies got leaked to the Net. It can be found around the darker corners of the Net, often under the name “3 Guys 1 Hammer.” I had some discussions with the WordPress folks, and I’m going to try to abide by their rules and in the future if there is anything violating, they are just going to remove it (Be my guest, it’s your site!) or notify me so I can remove it. We both agreed that I’m a good customer and the site is high quality. I’m almost glad that video is off the site. It felt creepy just having it on there. I don’t mind the stuff, and I usually only watch the movies once or so just to see how hard I am. After that, I only watch bits and pieces. Because really, a lot of that stuff freaks me out. Even so, following links all the day, reading comments, reading about creepy videos and crimes, seeing creepy pics and sometimes creepy movies, and it’s all starting to get to me. I feel traumatized a good portion of the time. I really don’t mind because it’s an interesting way to feel and compared to other ways I feel, it’s not that bad. I go out into the world feeling shock video-traumatized, and I get along very well with others. People are really nice to me. I don’t know why. For one thing, it gets me out of my head so I’m not thinking about myself all the time. When you realize how fucked up the world is, you respect the world a lot more. The world is a scary place. I need to respect others and they need to respect me. It’s a dance. And it can break down at any time and leave me or someone else dead or injured. That mindset really focuses life in a nice way and makes everything seem important and valuable, and emphasizes the need to treat life and others with caution. When you’re cautious, you’re nicer to others, because you realize the damage they can do to you. If you trust me, I trust you. I also enjoy feeling like a “man who has seen too much.” Like a character out of Raymond Chandler or Graham Greene. I mean, as long you don’t have PTSD, it’s ok. It’s kind of a macho feeling. Surely a lot of cops, judges, detectives and soldiers feel this way. Not to mention ER docs and ambulance crews. We don’t take life seriously enough. We breeze through it like we don’t give a fuck. I don’t think that works so well. Better to have “respect.” A very Buddhist concept of life. Also, feeling traumatized reminds me that I’m human. If this stuff didn’t effect me, I might start to worry. One thing I’m trying to do on this site is to “document reality.” It’s the opposite of a splatter/slasher/gore film. Those movies hardly have any redeeming value. What are they for? To frighten, to titillate, to excite, to pander to people’s lowest desires…Is there any artistic or moral message? Often none. They often seem to celebrate the worst possible behavior. My videos simply depict reality as it exists, often dealing with documentary footage of famous crimes or events that are historically and topically newsworthy. The message in the post that follows attacks the antisocials and sympathizes with the victims. If there’s a message, it’s “Humans are beasts, potentially. Beware: Use caution.” I don’t see why reality should not be documented, except in certain cases. Suppose there was footage of Nazis herding Jews into gas chambers and that showed the Jews dying the chambers, the workers afterward shoveling bodies out and tossing them in incinerators. Why not document that? Sure, some will get excited, some Nazis and antisocials. But most people will react with horror: Nazis were/are scum! Jewish organizations would fall all over themselves to show this footage to remind Jews of their victimhood and play up the evil of their enemies. How is showing such footage pandering to base desires or in need of censorship? Anyway, this is some of the stuff I have been thinking about lately. Feel free to discuss.
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