Damn Right We Are

And screw you if you don’t like it. Baby Boomers Still Getting High, Agency Says. I’m not sure when I last smoked pot. I think it was less than a year ago though for sure. I started smoking it again, and it was one of the best things I’ve done lately. I have an anxiety disorder called Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). I don’t talk about it much on here because no one wants to hear about it, and this isn’t a “Crazy Blog.” Stigma is still an insanely (Joke!) huge issue, and I have enough problems as it is. Crazy Blogs are the ballooning number of sites where folks with mental dx’s (usually way worse than mine, like Manic-Depression, Major Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder, Asperger’s, Schizophrenia, etc.) mostly write about their mental stuff. I take meds for OCD – an SSRI called Lexapro. I’ve gone off many times, but I relapse slowly but surely every time. Thing is, I started smoking pot again a few years back on a whim, and it worked great for OCD! Unfortunately, folks like us have to deal with fools called “psychiatrists” and “psychologists” sometimes. Psychiatrists sometimes to get the meds. Psychologists for therapy, which I’ve had years of anyway and don’t really need anymore, as it doesn’t do that much for OCD, and I’ve already learned enough about myself and my life as I need to know. This whole field, including all of the psychiatrists and psychologists, is insanely (Joke!) dead set against this thing called “drugs,” despite the fact that they shovel them out all the time as a way of getting their fat paychecks. Plus the dope that the psychs dish out is way worse in terms of side effects than any kind of cannabis. One particularly annoying thing that these idiots do is the minute you meet some new psych-fool, and they learn you have both a dx and a drug history (even if deep in the past), they immediately make the extremely helpful suggestion that your dx was caused by getting high! Wow, thanks a lot! A dx that developed like 27 years ago, and I’m supposed to feel guilty for the rest of my life about causing it! I feel so much better now! I see why they call it the “helping professions!” Even though in my case there seems to be zero evidence that this is the case. As an obsessive, I’ve thought this issue to death 50,000 times in multi-hour mental vicious circle sessions. And drugs never really made it worse or better anyway in the past. Though sometimes coke would make OCD better, usually with plenty of booze too (I also did great creative writing on coke and lots of booze – great combo!) and one time when I was on LSD, I had 1-2 hours free of a particularly horrific obsessive thought that had locked into my brain 24-7, 365 for about a year or so. That was the only couple hours of peace I had had in that whole year. That’s why acid is evil, you know. Because it helps mental illnesses sometimes. Anyway, if you admit to drinking at all (I drink two glasses of red wine a night) or taking any drugs other than the evil junk the p-docs write scripts for, you get shoveled out of all the programs immediately towards some bull called “Drug Treatment.” Yeah, that’s right, if you admit you take one hit off a jay once a year, you go to local equivalent of Betty Ford. Lame or what? This is because recently the mental health idiots (not the people with the illnesses, they’re the smart ones), meaning the morons who “treat” us, decided to split “mental health” and “drug treatment.” Nowadays most of the former are dopers too, so this doesn’t make sense, but the whole motto nowadays is never the twain shall meet! So if you have any dx at all, even fulminant schizophrenia I guess, you get shunted to the Synanon clowns, and the mental guys won’t even talk to you until you get “drug treatmented.” Only then you go into mental health, but only if you get “clean.” What if you never go clean and keep using? I guess mental health says go away until you come clean. This is based on the somewhat lame idea that you can’t treat anyone with a psych dx as long as they are “using.” There’s no evidence that this is true as a general statement, and in a lot of cases, it’s just stupid. The local medical treatment folks are much the same. I use a public facility, so this may be the problem, but I bet privates are just as insane (Joke!). If you tell them you are smoking weed, even for good reason (like it’s medicine, duh) they freak out and remand you to “therapy.” Then you go to the Therapist Lady who knows little about dope and less about medicine, and she tries to force you to quit smoking dope. Mind you, this is in California, where cannabis is legal to use medically as long as you have a card! I can imagine what things are like in South Carolina. Unfortunately, this anti-drug societal meme, which is profound even here in the middle of a California barrio, has taken a hold of me lately, and I even haven’t been stoned in a while. I take exception to the standard crap line about drugs. I’m extremely happy that we Boomers are continuing to get high. The typical line is that drugs are evil life destroyers, and everyone who takes them is an evil scum to be avoided and shunned. In terms of my life experience, my position is that drugs are fun. Drugs are a blast. Drugs are oodles and oodles of kicks and endless good times. That’s been my experience. I never got addicted or totally messed up on dope like it seems every other user did. I’ve been using off and on for 35 years now, and I’m not any the worse for it. That’s because I was always just a recreational user. Everyone I tell this to is like, “No way! What’s that? No such thing as a recreational user!” This is because, you see, all users are either very casual experimenters or addicts and screwups with a life-wrecking problem. But really. The only drug I ever used regularly was pot, and even if you use it daily, it usually doesn’t screw you up that much. I used coke for 13 years and never got addicted. I did probably less than an ounce of coke in 13 years, maybe a gram or so a year. I’d just tickle my nose now and then. I only did speed 3 times, and I never got into heroin, although I admit to very much a liking for codeine these days, which is killer good for OCD too for some weird reason. I did hallucinogens for 14 years (40 times overall). These drugs actually act against addiction in that they are so overwhelming that it’s almost impossible to take them regularly. I took psychedelics maybe 3-4 times a year, never had a serious bad trip, and I don’t think I have any serious consequences from it other than really bright lit up colors sometimes, which I think is HPPD. I’ve known many folks who took LSD anywhere from 1-700 times, and I can’t say I’ve ever met one person who was messed up from taking the stuff. I’ve known folks who have been using pot daily for 20-30 years, and they are psychologically normal in every way, shape and form. Those that were not, I saw them quit pot, and in general, they didn’t get any healthier psychologically. Sometimes they even started back up again, and still not much changed. I concluded that pot in general doesn’t seem to have much to do with psychological issues one way or the other. The notion of the permafried pothead or former acid user is largely a myth as far as I can tell, or at least it’s uncommon. Most of the really psychologically messed up folks I’ve met weren’t using anything. I always thought maybe they could have used some weed to mellow them out a bit. Oh yeah, one more really evil thing pot does to me. Sometimes it makes me laugh. For hours and hours, off and on. And, even after the high wears off, it still makes me laugh, even for days afterwards, even out in public (where I do try to suppress my giggles). I don’t care if people think I’m nuts for laughing in public. The sane people will just figure I’m thinking of something funny, which is exactly why I’m laughing. So you see, that’s one more reason cannabis is so evil. It makes people laugh, sometimes on and off for hours and days on end. We can’t have any of that now, can we?

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16 thoughts on “Damn Right We Are”

  1. I’ve only smoked marijuana a couple of times, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. I remember reading that dopaminergic drugs can reduce OCD-type symptoms. It’s difficult to get anything done without some degree of “OCD.” A friend of mine really got into marijuana, and it was obvious that he was self-medicating, basically, and still is. Things haven’t gone too well for him, and he’s living in another city and doesn’t even use email. But his issues don’t have anything to do with supposed adverse effects of marijuana. He’s one of those people who couldn’t navigate or take a conventional path in dealing with his difficulties.

    1. Welcome to the board, Max. Sounds like you will be a good addition here.
      It’s difficult to get anything done without some degree of “OCD.”
      To be honest, the fact that I am an obsessive, I think, helped me get an advanced degree and makes me a better writer, or at least a better researcher. The stuff I spend hours and hours poring over and endlessly redoing would bore the shit out of any normal person. All great scholars have to be obsessives to one degree or another.
      Also, my OCD (to a healthy degree) causes me to doubt stuff, so I end up doing a lot of theoretical and empirical thinking that way, doubt being the essence of the empirical enterprise.

  2. That’s true. I actually haven’t had a drink in 8 or 9 years, either, but it’s not because I was ever an alcoholic. I’ve never benefited from alcohol. I got that from my dad. I sometimes think I should drink from time to time, to remember what it’s like. A day of 65-percent-alcohol, hand-disinfectant use can, apparently, be roughly equivalent to one drink, on a bad winter day. That’s about as close as I get to being a normal, drinking person.

  3. This is not perfectly relevant to the OCD thread, but I do sometimes have difficulty getting distance from some writing or academic projects. That can affect the length, and my circumstances tend to be an obstacle to my taking a more conventional approach.
    In the past, I’ve had difficulty telling what parts of an issue are strictly relevant to the focus of a specific project, and that can still be an ongoing concern with me. I always find value in the process, though, and will continue to. As far as creativity and freedom of expression go, I’ve had more opportunities than most people and view things in that light. I used to get into the business of thinking that my life could have gone this way or that and could have been different, but I don’t think that way anymore and wouldn’t trade my experiences. That attitude can get to be a cliche, but it does have some truth to it.

  4. I used to trade art for ketamine. A society vet who treated polo ponies sent me sealed 10 ML bottles in the mail in exchange for paintings until it was bumped up the schedule from a controlled substance to a felony possession about a decade ago. The media went crazy over “roofies” which was “the date rape drug.” Somehow ketamine got cobbled onto new legislation to curtail that menace and my supply dried up. Before I ever took it I read up on it. The only book about it then was Journeys Into the Bright World by Marcia Moore and Dr. Howard “Sunny” Alltunian. They had developed “Samadhi Therapy,” a therapy for well people that included ketamine injections and some Raja and Bhakti yoga disciplines. One time a shipment of K arrived at the same time my flaming coke dealer friend from San Francisco was in town. So I bought a bindle and cooked some up in a spoon and added that to about 80 ccs of K and slammed this into my thigh. I’ve taken a lot of trips in my life, but that one was one of the most memorable because the coke seemed to slow my cascading consciousness down so I could savor and examine the samadhi state as I entered it. It was like going home and being safe forever. After I came down I decided to name the ketamine and cocaine cocktail a “Satan’s Snowball.” Sometimes when I’m in a bar I’ll ask for one of these just to see what sort of a rise I get out of the hipster bartender or barmaid. Kids these days think they know everything, but very few of them have ever rode The Polar Express into the Bright World and back.

  5. Anyone that knows anything about the jew mafia knows that the jew mafia creates their own enemy. This is so blatant that even a retard must be able to see how the jews do it.
    There are at least three film teams here. The truck is filmed from behind, from right in front and from the side. What is the possibility that three film crews are located 20 meers from where the truck stops?
    The window is blasted from inside the truck.
    Where are the sign that this is an South-African police truck?
    Why would S-A police ride on the load of an unmarked truck hiding behind a wooden crater?
    “South Africa’s Coloureds Better Off Under Apartheid”

  6. I live in Northern California, and I decided recently to get a medical marijuana license.
    I am very particular about what type of pot I consume. I don’t like the indica strain, because it makes me stumble towards the couch and eat things warped in cellophane.
    Trouble is that most pot is indica or an indica hybred. This is because it is easier to grow and flowers much quicker.
    Sativia’s take four months to flower and no grower wants to spend twice as much energy on an indoor grow. Out door growers have troubles with Sativias as well, because the flowering hormone does not supress the growth hormone till around the middle of August. Buds have to come off by late October which is not enough time for Sativia’s to finish.
    I’ve made a lot of grow light systems, and know how to do what I want to do. I haven’t smoked any pot for over a month and am not planning on getting high till I have what I like.
    It pisses me off that a bunch of hypocritical sanctimonious a holes try to lable me as a moral failure because I like to get high. Screw them. They are responsible for forcing people like me to go underground and use billions of kilowatts unnecessarily.
    I’m going to start a grow in a week. Pure Sativia. It has no medicinal value but I like it.

    1. Politicians are 10 years behind the times, when it comes to hemp use. People have been fighting for along time against pot prohibition with some movement going on now. Still too slow for those caught up in the jail system. Our freedoms have been trampled on by folks who know nothing about how beautiful cannabis can be for someones life. Keep up the good work.

  7. “I hear that Ketamine is an extremely strange high.”
    The late daredevil druggie D.M. Turner, author of The Essential Psychedelic Guide, calls it “The Royal Psychedelic.” He died of drowning in his San Francisco bathtub most likely on a K trip. Marcia Moore disappeared from her Innes Arden home outside Seattle. She was an heir to the Sheridan Hotels fortune. A dog uncovered her skull in a nearby woods two years later. Her brother, author Robin Moore (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robin_Moore believed she died of exposure after leaving her house during a freeze under the influence. Dolphin expert Dr. John Lilly believed he had been contacted by agents of ECCO (Earth Coincidence Control Office) http://www.futurehi.net/docs/ECCO.html
    who led him on a tour of the solar system at a future time when all biological life on Earth has been replaced by solid state intelligence. He was on the twinkle nectar in an isolation tank when the encounter took place. The movie Altered States is based on these experiments with a shamanic Indian plant concoction substituted for the ketamine Lilly remained psychologically addicted to until the end of his life. The current expert on
    the history and use of this extremely curious drug is Dr. Karl Jansen. http://www.near-death.com/experiences/lsd03.html He doesn’t appear to be another ketamine casualty…. yet.

  8. I have a question.
    Do people who are not genetically prone to engage in self-destructive behaviors (ie, drug use, multiple sex partners) or have a high probability of developing diseases (physical or mental) have a moral duty to pay for the healthcare of those who are?

  9. It’s true. Therapists in this country want to siphon you off into a “drug treatment program” if you admit to even sipping a glass of wine a few times a year or having a few tokes with friends on occasion. I think it’s especially bad for the poor. Where I live, the only free “mental health” program is a drug-treatment program in disguise. Having little money, I went there to get therapy for my depression and anxiety (I have BPD, don’t run!) and had to fill out about 10 pages asking me about my “drug abuse history.” I walked out. I’m currently paying out of pocket for a better, psychodynamic therapist (eg, the kind rich people can afford) even though I’m poor as f*ck. The whole war on drugs is ridiculous but I bet weed will be legal in all 50 state before we die.

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