New post by Alpha Unit, our female guest poster. Great stuff. The late Godfather of Soul, the inimitable James Brown, sang from his heart and gut that this is a man’s world. Rhythm and blues was always about the truth. The singer makes it known that the world would be nothing without a woman or a girl. But women and children live in a world that men rule. And whoever rules gets to call the shots. You got that, women? Men know freedoms that women, for the most part, never can. We are slaves to our bodies, and to the offspring of our bodies, in ways they will never be. And so they have been free to go out and make the world the way it is. And the rules that apply are of their making. There are places on this earth where this is explicit, and unapologetically enforced. Sometimes brutally enforced. (I have no interest in being in any of these places, either.) But quite often it gets quietly enforced in nice, well-developed, Western communities where it is completely unexpected. Civilized men will protect those weaker than themselves. But the sexual impulse exists beyond notions of propriety. If people are going to behave themselves sexually, then they are going to need the strongest of incentives to do so. Where there is no pressure to do what’s “right” or where there is the opportunity to disregard what’s “right” then people do whatever they feel like. And in this arena men have the upper hand. I remember a case in which a young woman was making out with a guy and had started to have sex with him–and right in the middle of the sex act, she decided she didn’t want to do it anymore. Ha. It became a legal matter, of course. And I’m sure you can guess why. The young man had introduced her, probably to his lasting regret, to one of the rules: Thou shalt not make out with a guy, get naked, open the pearly gates, and then, while he is bringing this encounter to its natural conclusion, proclaim, “On second thought, I don’t feel like it.” Already I can see The Outraged Liberal Woman raising herself up like a cat and hissing at me. “Alpha Unit, you are suggesting that a man has a right to force himself on a woman even after she has clearly told him No. This is not only disgusting, but outrageous.” Actually, I’m not. What I’m stating is that the young woman’s act was not only selfish and inconsiderate; it was dumb. It doesn’t matter if the guy in question is the dearest, politest, most sensitive guy on earth. It doesn’t matter if the guy would immediately jump up and ask in the nicest way if everything is all right and if there’s anything he can do for you. It’s a really dumb thing to do. Why? Because unless you know for a fact that a guy will stop, there is a very good chance that he won’t. There is an excellent chance that he’ll feel that you are jerking him around. A smart woman knows that you don’t summon up this kind of feeling in a guy – especially if you are alone with him. What’s disheartening is that there are young women out there who can’t fathom why the scenario above is so dangerous. They are the same type who’ll say, “I think I should be able to go out drinking until three a.m. and walk around by myself in the neighborhood without anyone bothering me. This is a free country, damn it, and women have the right to do whatever they want.” Since when? There are a lot of guys out there who would be happy to school you in the way things really work. There are guys out there who would have no problem physically overpowering you. Some of them enjoy it. In fact, there are guys who would enjoy hurting you, period. Don’t you know that? That there are people for whom lust and female vulnerability are a favorite combination? These types are outnumbered, I think it’s fair to say, by the civilized, decent guys. But even a civilized, decent guy can be pushed over the line. Under certain circumstances, civilized and decent guys have been known to do things they never would have imagined themselves to be capable of. A lot of times this happens during wars. You should thank God for the civilized, decent guys. They are really the only thing standing between you and that other type. They are the ones who give women and children safe passage in a world in which they could easily be – and sometimes continually are – at the mercy of men. The last thing you would ever want to do is bring out the worst in a civilized, decent guy. It’s incredibly stupid. Either the civilized, decent guys are going to be running things, or those other guys will. But one thing is for sure: women won’t be running things at all. Don’t kid yourself. If you jerk around bad guys, you lose. But if you jerk around good guys, you really lose.
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