"You Can't Have All of Him," by Alpha Unit

Yet another fantastic post by guest poster Alpha Unit. Alpha Unit is a woman. Yet again in America we are subject to the “confessions” of an adulterous husband, this time the governor of South Carolina. Not long ago it was a Senator from Nevada. And who was it before that? The governor of New York? It isn’t important. If anything is assured, it is that some prominent man is going to be exposed as an adulterer or philanderer–something other than the loyal and loving husband he held himself out to be. Why can’t a man be true, for heaven’s sake? Where does it begin–with the eyes? If he really loved his wife, his eyes would be for her alone. He wouldn’t pay the slightest attention to that woman over there, no matter how much she jiggles ever so slightly as she walks. Once he has seen his wife’s bosom, he is stricken blind to the charms of anyone else’s. Because love does that to a man. If he even notices another woman’s cleavage, no matter how much it is sitting up and begging for attention, it means his devotion to his wife is suspect. Everybody knows this. His gaze would never, ever again be cast upon images of lovely women, particularly lovely women in varying states of undress. Because love does that to a man. Once he’s all yours, he couldn’t care less what any other woman looks like without her clothes on. Your exquisite gorgeousness is all that could ever satisfy him now. And if he is ever caught looking at such images, a display of horror and outrage on your part should be sufficient to ensure that it never happens again. Female horror and outrage have always kept men in line. (As a last resort, female tears have proven to be effective.) And a devoted husband never has the slightest inclination, ever, to have sex with another woman. That’s because no other woman can compare to you. He married you, didn’t he? He wouldn’t have done that if he were still capable of finding other women desirable. Once he set eyes, and hands, on you, you rendered him incapable of acting upon the same impulse he acted upon when he saw you. Because that’s what love does to a man. On the other hand, there is occasionally the woman who recognizes her husband’s devotion in his truthfulness, his insistence on keeping his word, his exercise of discipline in his actions, his unwillingness to do anything that he knows will cause her harm. I’ve heard that such a woman can actually be quite happy, and could care less if her husband’s eyes linger a little bit over the physique of some other woman. Perhaps she figures that if she has his loyalty, she’s gotten one of the best things he could ever have given her. The body can be devout. But the eyes? Unlikely. And the imagination? Never.

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