Ladies Love Psychos

Like babies love stray dogs…
Riffing off a popular Waylon Jennings song here.
This always mystifies the sane people in the world. Nice guys can’t get laid, and even when they do, their women try to dominate them, emasculate them, call them wimps, pussies and fags, laugh in their faces, ridicule them and try to fuck around on them, often rubbing their blatant affairs in the poor guy’s face just to humiliate him and try to get herself murdered.
On the other hand, the psychos get tons of sex. The more psycho you are, the more the ladies want to sex you. Serial killers who did unspeakable things to women are deluged with mail from insane women (Oxymoron?) trying to marry them.
Idiot women are always complaining about their macho boyfriends who treat them like shit, beat them up, cheat on them, steal all their money, run up their credit cards, on and on. When the women leave, the guys stalk them and follow them around.
“You need to be careful!” she whispers. “I have a psycho ex-boyfriend!”
“What did he do?” You want to know, mildly amused.
“He pulled a knife on a guy and got five years probation.” There’s sexual desire flashing in her crazy eyes. She’s getting excited just by the thought of it.
It never fails to crack me up when women complain about “psycho” guys, domestic violence, violence against women, or even rape. What the heck, ladies? These are the guys you love the most, come on! Precisely how psycho do they have to be before you stop sleeping with them and finally report them to the cops? The solution to psycho and violent guys is to quit spending your whole lives screwing them, you morons.
There are several explanations for this senseless behavior. The first one, quite appealing, is that women are simply insane. For instance, it’s a rare guy who would be sexually excited by the fact that his girlfriend is a homicidal maniac who can snap at any time and cut his balls off and then slit his throat. But women see murder, mayhem and violence in a man and they cream their jeans. It sounds like something out of the DSM.
But this doesn’t go far enough to explain it. A better explanation: women are female monkeys walking on two legs, and their psycho boyfriends are just male chimps gone bipedal. We think we’re so damn metrosexual and sophisticated and postmodern, but we may as well be living in a cave in France, painting on the walls, and hunting mammoths for food and fun.
To make my point clearer, let us look at this tidbit about the Afar, a tribe in Ethiopia:

Afar culture emphasizes a man’s strength and bravery, and prestige usually comes from killing one’s enemy. The strikingly beautiful Afar women will usually not consider a courtship with a man who has never killed another man. They hope for a husband who wears the iron bracelet indicating he has killed 10 men…
…Afar marriages are monogamous, and traditionally, an Afar man was not allowed to marry until he had killed another man.

See what I mean?

References

Minahan, James. 2002. Encyclopedia of the Stateless Nations, Illustrated Edition, p. 42. Westport, CN: Greenwood Publishing Group.
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6 thoughts on “Ladies Love Psychos”

  1. There was a slave port in West Africa, ruled by an African king who used to buy slaves collected from the interior and sell them to the whites. On the night of his wedding he had 100 or 1000 (can’t remember ) slaves crucified along the walls of the town to celebrate.

  2. Also springs to mind, a documentary I say the other week on tv, about this former Sierra Leone rebel who’d ‘got Jesus’. He used to be known as General Butt-Naked because he used to go into battle ‘sky-clad’ (as the Celts called it) to frighten his enemies and for spiritual protection. Before going into battle, he confided, there was usually ‘an element of child sacrifice’. He raped and massacred women and children, kidnapped children and trained them to be monsters like him. Of course he practiced ‘an element of cannibalism, because that’s my traditional culture…’ Then one day he was crossing a bridge and there was a flash of blinding light and he saw ‘ an angel’ and he mended his ways. The film showed him and one of his former comrades singing and dancing and reading the bible in suits and ties with a lot of old ladies and little kids, looking sheepish. Apparently they’re waiting to find if they’re going to be tried or amnestied. ” I deserve to be punished, I did terrible things…” he conceded. His pal told how he if he liked the look of a woman he used to hang around her village at night and then follow her till he could get her alone and rape her.
    Psycho enough for you?

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