The Enigma of the Womanizer

The womanizer, or, as I call him in his most notorious formation, The Man With the Golden Sperm, is a strange fellow. Much of what you hear about him are lies, and he is poorly understood. It’s said that he hates women and is secretly gay, but I am convinced that this is nonsense.
Womanizers love women. They really, really, really love women. I think most guys don’t really like women that much. Well, they like them, but not like the womanizer does. When it comes down to it, your man’s man would rather hang out with the guys. A lot of other guys are sort of scared of women or never got that comfortable around them, including married men.
Further, the more masculine a guy is, the more alienated and disturbed he is by typical feminine behavior, and the more he finds it offensive in men and silly and nonsensical in women. So in highly machismo cultures like Latin America and Arabia you also find a lot of misogyny, and when the guys want to hang out, they hang out with guys. When the girls want to hang out, they hang out with girls.
In order for a guy to hang out with the ladies, he has to respect femininity and the female nature on some basic level. Machismo is all about contempt for femininity in oneself, other males and frankly in general.
The womanizer on the other hand, while definitely a masculine guy in a way, likes women so much that most of his friends are women.
The most notorious ones I knew had women coming and going all the time, seemingly all day and all night, like some kind of weird sexual revolving door. The phone was always ringing, and there was often a woman on the end of the line. I would go out with these guys, and females would go into hypnotized stares just being in the presence of this guy, this Man With the Golden Sperm.
Many of their friends were females, and their female friends were always vicariously fucking the womanizer via fixing their friends up with him.
So let us put to rest once and for all the notion that the womanizer hates women. Quite the opposite. He’s addicted to them, in some ways the way an addict is to dope. He can’t get enough of them. He’s drowning in a sea of females. It’s true that womanizers don’t treat women very well, but I would argue that that doesn’t mean that they hate them. They don’t treat them well, but they still really love them. Does that make sense?
Most of the most notorious womanizers I have ever known, including yours truly back in the day (Not so much these days, unfortunately!), were somewhat androgynous guys. They were not full-on macho man’s man types.
I think part of the success of the womanizer is that he likes women so much because he has so much in common with them. And strangely, it is the fact that the womanizer is “in touch with his female side” that makes women so attracted to him.
No, they are not having lesbian sex with a girl with a dick. But he is sort of one of the girls in a bit of a strange way, but then he’s not either, he really is a man, and you better believe it. He’s definitely a sexual threat since he has a cock and knows how to use it, but then again he’s not because he’s so approachable.
The most notorious ones I knew were always being approached by females. Females were always touching them, walking up to them and sitting on their laps, walking close to them, grabbing them, teasing them. If you asked them why they did that, they would say, “He’s just so…approachable.” Other guys would watch with their mouths open and ask, “How the Hell do you do it, man?”
Some womanizers are even soft, sensitive and androgynous in bed, and females actually like this. Females who had sex with these guys tell me that it was a weird experience, and sometimes they almost felt like they were having sex with another woman! But nevertheless they loved it anyway.
And some of these guys have confessed to me that when they had sex with females, they felt like a woman having sex with another woman, like a lesbian with a dick. They said it was a weird feeling, but if the chick is young and beautiful, hey, the sex is still great anyway.
As far as whether the womanizer is an “asshole who uses women” as the line goes, it’s hard to say.
Most of the real notorious ones I knew had it made. Women basically approached them all the time. They barely even had to try, and when they did, their approaches were quite welcome. It isn’t so much that these guys are chasing women, but that in many cases, females are chasing them.
Sure he goes through women like underwear, and I’m sure there is some resentment on the part of the women, but not as much as you think. A lot of the females seemed to be delighted to play along and put a notch in their belt by bagging The Man With the Golden Sperm.
Although resentment was evident in former girlfriends of these guys, you could tell that the females still sort of loved them in a way. How could they not?
I am convinced that in most females of all ages, even in the coldest and most broken of  female hearts, there is a tiny section set aside for their eternal love for The Man With the Golden Sperm.
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17 thoughts on “The Enigma of the Womanizer”

    1. MMMMM found this mildly amusing to say the least, a man who treats woman as objects and playthings is not a person to be revered and certainly not a good role model, He is not what I consider to be a real man, it’s a total turn off in my book,I think I may have an allergic reaction to a womanizer..;-)
      I agree it would be an addiction for the man involved concerning his lust for woman…Its certainly not LOVE, as I dont think this individual knows what real love is.
      I do believe he is a pro at getting the girls, but not every girl would fall for his charms.
      Especially if the girl had better self esteem, wisdom and had respect for herself. A man who spends all his time with woman doesn’t appeal to me at all…A guys guy well actually yes I find that more attractive…a one woman man definitely top on my list, faithful in marriage and relationships tells me that this guy has maturity.
      If all the girls go to him (womanizer), touch him etc…I actually would see that as a form of emasculation…Surely it’s inbuilt in a man to be the hunter, call me old fashioned but I know a few guys that have done the pursuing and really dont like the girls doing the asking.
      I think a womanizer is a guy that has lost his identity, and doesn’t have a clue about real woman at all, he’s learned to talk the talk but can he walk the walk….meaning to see a relationship with a woman all the way through…
      its easy to sleep with someone, a far different ball game to reveal yourself, your dreams, your fears, your weaknesses to open up and show real vulnerability to another being.
      To me he is still a little boy inside of a man who has never grown up or dealt with issues in the way he views woman.
      He certainly is a selfish individual thinking about his own needs and certainly dosent understand AGAPE LOVE!! because if he did he wouldn’t treat woman as objects for his pleasure.
      I’ve met a guy who is a womanizer….and he really didnt impress me, propably because I am surrounded by real men that treat woman with respect.
      Not surprised if there is resentment from former girlfriends…they deserve better treatment.
      There we go lol I’ve shared my opinion.

      1. For any woman falling for a womaniser and knowing he’s like this, your self abusing yourself. Think of it this way, he is abusing you and he is self abusing himself. He has no control sexually in holding back from different women, he can’t make commitments, he has no word, he hurts you when he feels like shit himself and then picks you up when he’s feeling insecure or alone. He’s a weak and dishonest guy, so womanisers are pitiful, and sorry I could never fall in love for a man who needed my pity. I totally agree with the above comments, womanisers are predators prostituting themselves. I don’t think I’d fancy having a sexual relationship with one of these guys, giving that he probably had laid a few different woman the same week or on the same day a few hours before you if he’s lucky enough! so where did he have his bits…. yuck disgusting thought isn’t it!!! I prefer the decent guy who respects his body and womens and at least you know your not going to catch a disease from him. We women get to emotional around womanisers because they know how to twig our heart strings, but once you look at him as an image of pity, it will turn you off…be Strong stay away from these guys love wise.

  1. I’m a girl who just loves boys, so i identify with the “womanizer” and get that he’s not out to do evil. but i’m also commitment phobic, insecure, and probably am addicted to the intense love and affection of romance phase of a relationship. as opposed to a man who loves women and does one night stands, i always had a tendency to spend about three months with the boys i loved before i broke it off (i guess when the other me started coming out of its shell). i guess i left them before they realized how crazy i was and left me. i fight this urge now, and have been in a relationship for four years (my longest and i’m now 35), but it’s been difficult. my boyfriend once said to me – you might not like me today, but you liked me yesterday and you’ll like me again tomorrow. and he was right. and everytime i get the urge to break up with him and fall in love with someone else, i think about that. will i like him again tomorrow? i often regretted breaking up with many of the boys i was with, in hindsight. i don’t want to be there again.

    1. I definitely agree with you. I have an ex who is one of the most womanizing men I have ever met. His dad is a womanizer. I suspected my ex to be secretly bi-sexual and said it. He did not have the normal reaction to my accusation. It seemed as if he was ashamed or something. His dad owns real estate. So, his wife fits a trophy wife category, but he still philanders around. At one of his “secret houses”. He was there with a man and they were inside. They looked shocked to see us outside when we came…I believe they were doing down low deeds. You have to have been there to sense what I am saying.

  2. Yeah….MmmmK
    Men who “love” women are strong enough to engage in loving, honest relationship based on more than ejaculating into folds of flesh that they later discard and move on to the next. Real men can sustain and erection AND a relationship. I was married to a deviant-assed, sodomy craving male. He was very homely and was too insecure about the size (or lack thereof) of his penis. His penis was not large, but unlike the popular myth that all women love “third-legs” jammed up between their thighs, I enjoy pleasure over pain. His penis-size worked for me, but the smallness of his Heart, Soul & Character were the PROBLEM. I recall him bringing gay male porn into our home during our first year of marriage claiming that it was for me. What? Now what in the devil’s dip-stick do I want with a bunch of homosexual pornography? And I was pregnant with his first son to add insult to damned disgust. My ex is quite effeminate. If you see him or hear is baritone-less voice, you will immediately wonder if he is gay… Not that there is anything wrong with being gay. It is just how adamant he is that he is not while having such OBVIOUS proclivities. His first “love” and kiss was with a 25 year old man when he was a teenager. I had been friends with him from high school, so I over looked all of this when he asked me to marry him after I had suffered a devastating break up. (He’s like one of those bottom-feeder type relationship predators who go after women when they are the most vulnerable and alone. He pretends to be their “friend”—then eventually he slithers into the “benefits”; a typical lecher. I married him whilst still in dazed confusion from my previous relationship. He tried to cover his lack of masculinity by brutalizing our children and me. He believed that being mean was a good substitute for lack of true masculinity. Over the years going to bed with this freak felt more and more like abject torture to me. He repulsed me. I had to get drunk just to endure his warmish advances until finally I would barely go to bed with him at all. So, he found some desperate, ugly whore and began gorging himself up her ass. Thank God! That was when I got just the excuse I needed to divorce his perverted, ugly, sick, porn addicted woman-hating ass. He does not “love” women. He hates them because he wants to be them and therefore knows that he is not nor will he ever really be a man. You see? In the years we have been divorced he has admittedly “been-with” hundreds of women and engaged in orgies. He proudly proclaims that he has sex with multiple “partners” who also have multiple “partners” and that they are all fine with it. He even is proud and feels responsible by stating that he has an AIDS test every 6 months as if that is some sort of preventive measure. He gives the word “asinine” an entirely more expanded meaning. He is either bisexual or he is homosexual. He gets VERY defensive and angry if you ask him if he is gay. He has obviously been gay or bisexual, however, since high school. Sadly, everyone sees this but him… I guess. I do not know. Maybe he does see it and that is why he is so angry, misogynistic and cruel. I am thankful that I no longer have to endure being used as his substitute-man-hole!

  3. There are different kinds of womanizers. Some may love women and just want to date a lot, but the guy who breaks up with lots of women over and over keeps searching for something they are missing and frustrated with themselves… they really want a man.

    1. Having been there and done that, I must say that this is just wrong. Whatever the womanizer wants, it’s certainly not a man 95%+ of cases, if not more. They just want to screw every hot woman out there, that’s all there is to it.

      1. So why exactly are these men desired if they are not Macho or masculine? Masculinity is the prime directive of a male, wouldn’t it be counter productive for mating between a non-masculine man and a fertile women?
        Does this masculinity/femininity continuum cross cultures? I can’t imagine this working for someone in a conservative culture.

        1. Androgynous guys are SEXY. Especially young women and girls just eat up guys like that. As women get older, these guys are less and less attractive, and yes, a woman does want a more macho or masculine guy as she gets older for biological reasons. Young women and girls go for guys out of sheer attractiveness. Older women want a meal ticket and are suspicious of pretty boy types. They think they might be gay or maybe something is wrong with them.

      2. That’s correct, it is ALL about sex, and for certain males, sex is about power, control and dominance. They are malignantly narcissistic sex addicts who actually harbor a general hatred of women “as people”. I spent 30 years married to one of these men, with the last three being the most informative as I found out who he really is. Once the outward facade is removed, all that remains is the inner core of rage & hatred.
        Despite their false belief of being more intelligent than anyone they know, they behave this way because they are functioning on a very primitive part of the brain. I guess the joke’s really on them.

  4. The Article by Robert is actually a pretty good description of the REAL womanizer (with the exception that they are not always delicate looking). They don’t hate woman, they love them (too many of them) and they do have the goal to be with as many hot women as they possibly can, even if they have to lie and cheat, many times the game and the challenge of making them fall in love is even more interesting to them than intercourse itself, you’ll probably recognize him too because they usually pay for the first date but most likely that’s all you will get as they have too many women to impress (unless they are pretty wealthy and can afford it all). They are charming, sexy, seemingly sensitive, sweet spoken and yet completely clueless about the fact that they are hurting and disrespecting the women they’re with because despite their ability to be in touch with their feminine side, they are definitely men in the sense that their brains, their thoughts and their feelings work in the most basic manner (there are a few that are painfully honest, those are the better ones). The womanizer, does not intend to “use” or hurt woman, he simply doesn’t think about it until they meet one that makes them feel the same way he’s made others feel, and usually this woman (who tends to be the opposite to what he usually goes after) will have to go through some pretty tough times with him before he will even start to see her as “his conscience”. Ironically, womanizers usually have close relationships with their moms, sisters, cousins and their best friends are always women and he would stand up for them against other womanizers because he doesn’t see himself as the hurtful kind until they find that special woman that is willing to make him stand in front of the mirror…. I know so many stories on which the shameless womanizer falls in love and is even more loyal, more faithful and more committed to his wife than the manly man type and once that special woman becomes the mother of his children, she can never do wrong…. What I would like to know is whether there are statistics showing a high probability of this happening or if I have just been very lucky to have met quite a few people that were able to achieve this with a former womanizer….Here I am, the girl that was friends with more than one womanizer and sworn would never date one, now contemplating committing to one (and yes, I did go through all the incredibly painful phase, the humiliations, the constant disappointments, I even had to break up with him and stay away for months, and let him go back to his old ways, before he came back acting like a completely different person)… so if you’ve seen serious statistics, I could use them right now!!… one thing I know for a fact is that I am not willing to go through the pain again, but seeing the change and after so much work and tears invested in him, I do want to give this a chance.
    p.s: Statistics please!!! Quick!!

  5. This is really good stuff. I think guys have a hard time understanding the sensitive ladies man. Women don’t like guys who sing sad guitar songs because it is a display of masculinity. In reality too much masculinity is highly intimidating to a woman.
    The guys that bag the women who everyone thinks is incredibly attractive just as fast often will end up bagging someone who people don’t consider attractive. Because he has become immune to the male judgement of acceptable women he is able to see the women as human beings and he truly has a passion for sex or women that he is to appreciate the women as they are which makes them feel connected to him in spite of him seeing many other women that way.
    This is why guys need to get beyond the whole American idea of hyper masculinity being the only desirable way of being a man. It all has to do with the culture of homophobia demanding that men fit these small range of features on the masculine-feminine spectrum.

  6. Thank you for this non-biased analysis. It’s not that common to run into something written which goes against public opinion and I appreciate it.

  7. As a former womanizer I agree with the thesis: womanizers understand women, natually, and are intoxicated by their physical and emotional beauty. And simply put, it’s called dating – nothing wrong with it, if you are lucky enough to have the talent to attract lots of women. And by the way, women do the same thing (I know this because I was there when they would call their boyfriends, from my bedroom).
    In my experience, i can tell you that, generally, women are far more promiscuous than 95% of the men I know/knew. Granted, that is, if they can be.
    I adore women, but I also understand their nature. And, their nature also changes over time – just like my own nature has had to change over time. However, these changes are mostly due to physical and finacial necessity – necessity mostly for women, but men as well.
    That all said, men are far more romantic, and they are far more loyal then women. In general.
    Of course, that’s just my opinion.

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