The Man With the Golden Sperm

Sexmaniacman showed up the other day, and we had an interesting talk about womanizers. Sexguy calls a womanizer, “The Man with the Golden Sperm.” I think he’s onto something!

“Hi Bob, thanks for letting me write on here. I used to be a PUA, but I haven’t been for some time now. Bachelor life is feast or famine, but the feasts were never so much fun.
My hero was this guy I knew in my teens, Steve. I knew him best when he was around 18-21 years old. This guy always had three girlfriends at any one time, and he juggled all three of them. He also had as many other women as possible who were not in the top three and constantly shifted somehow. The top three also changed on a regular basis too. Nowadays, you would about need an Excel spreadsheet to keep up with his antics.
On a typical day, he had three or four dates. He had a morning date, an afternoon date, an evening date, and then around midnight, he would climb in some girl’s room at her parents house, and that would be the midnight date. He had sex with all of them, and they were all quite willing.
This was in the 1970’s, and it was before most STD’s, herpes, AIDS, etc. I never heard of anyone catching anything more than crabs.
In the summers he and his buddies would rent a house on the beach and surf all day. The house had a keg of beer continuously refilled and about a pound of Thai weed, continuously resupplied also. They would have sex with about three women and girls on any given days. Whether the females were always new, I have no idea. The females were always very willing. It’s conceivable that he could go through up to 100 females in a summer.
This guy was this ultimate bitchin’ surfer dude who lived at the beach with all the rest of us. Despite his endless conquests, no one hated him, and females gladly lined up to take a number and wait in line to have sex with him, I guess for a notch on their belts too.
I figure he was “The Man with the Golden Sperm“. I think evolutionarily, this guy is seen as having the most awesome genes of all, and a good number of young females subconsciously want to bear his kids and perpetuate his awesome line. There’s no other explanation that makes sense for this behavior.
He was a very good friend of mine, but you had to watch out when you hung around with him. Everywhere you went with him, strange women would start staring at him like they were hypnotized.
Also, whenever you were with him more than a few hours, there were always going to be some good looking females popping up out of nowhere, mostly ones you had never seen before. They always wanted to have sex. First with him, next, as second choice, with any of the Men with the Semi-Golden Sperm who were accompanying him.
So if you were worried about having sex with strange women on a moment’s notice, you couldn’t even hang around the guy.
One thing that I noticed was his life was quite hectic! Juggling all these women is pretty much a full time job. The phone was always ringing, he was always going here or there, you were always meeting different people, or new people were showing up and leaving. He was “hypersocial.”
He finally got married and moved to San Fransisco with his wife and a couple of friends. I saw him a year or so later (30 years ago). He called me, and I showed up at a hotel room on the beach around noon (I was a working college student at the time). As I entered the room, a beautiful young blonde was leaving with a satisfied smile on her face. He swore he was going to be faithful to his wife, but I guess not!
He opened up a suitcase on the bed, and there were several pounds of pot in there all neatly bagged into one ounce bags. I looked and started laughing. We both started laughing really hard and almost fell onto the floor. Heavy drug scenes like that were always funny, because it was totally illegal, and you could get busted anytime, but that just made it even more exciting, daring and ultra-macho.
I bought an ounce from him and saw him later that evening. I never saw him again.
Five years later (25 years ago), I heard he was still in San Fransisco. At age 25, he now owned two or three homes in SF, not cheap real estate. He was a major cocaine dealer. He lived in one house and kept his stuff in another one. He was described as “so hot you don’t want to go near him.” That means he’s a huge dealer, and he’s dangerous in that he can be busted big-time at any time, and if you are with him, you’re going to jail too.
Six years later, I heard he was still around and out of jail somehow.
Last year, I saw him on the Internet. He had landed on his feet and was back in Orange County and selling real estate. I called him up, told him I was a ghost from his past and asked him to figure out who I was. I couldn’t stop laughing. He kept saying, “Who is this?” but I never told him. Then he hung up.
Even when he was doing the ultimate womanizer thing, he wasn’t an ass, and almost everyone liked him. Even females who had been with him didn’t resent him and most seemed to be pleased to have his notch on their belts.
I never lived like anything close to this guy, but he was my idol for a while, and I was always trying to emulate him when I was young. At one time though, very long ago, I regularly had three girlfriends at once, and there were as many casuals as I could manage in between.
Females were always dumping me and screaming at me, people were always telling me what a scum I was, but in between, the fun never stopped. I was lying to everyone all the time, but I didn’t care. People see what you are doing and can’t believe it. As word gets around, instead of being repulsed, all these new strange females start showing up acting awfully friendly, asking to take a number and stand in line. You’re The Man with the Golden Sperm.
But more than anything else, my life was totally hectic and insane. People have no idea how much work this is!
I remember once I went to visit my cousins in another state. They lived there with my aunts and grandparents. A while before, I had had sex with my hot female cousin, but that ended, and we were just best friends. I would go up there, and she would get out her phone book and start calling all her female friends. The Man with the Golden Sperm is in town! Any takers?
She took me around to her friends, introducing me to them. Some said forget it, but one liked me, N, a Russian girl. My cousin fixed me up with her.
“Sexdude,” my cousin said, whispering in my ear. “When you go out with her, make sure you fuck her.”
“Why?” I asked incredulously.
“I don’t think she’s ever been laid,” my cuz said, “and you’re a great place for her to start. After all,” she said with a sly wink in her eye, “You’re the Man with the Golden Sperm.”
I dated her friend, and there was lots of fun.
Later my younger cousin came around. She was 14. She saw that my older cousin, age 18, was fixing her friends up with me. She got jealous.
She called me aside.
“Sexman,” she said. “I want you to go out with my friend.”
“Huh?” I was incredulous.
We had spent the day riding skateboards and smoking dope.
“She’s 14. And I’m 21. I could go to jail,” I pointed out.
“So? What does that matter to the Man with the Golden Sperm?” She looked hurt.
So date her I did, that very night.
I was staying at my cousins, and the phone kept ringing when I was gone. My aunt kept answering it and taking the messages. She would rattle them off when I got home.
In a single day, Female Cousin One called, Female Cousin Two called, Strange Girl One called, Strange Girl Two called. My aunt was standing there, wobbling a bit, unable to believe this was really happening. She was shaking her head incredulously. I had just shown up from another state yesterday, and half the girls in town were already calling for me. How could she not admire The Man with the Golden Sperm?
My aunt’s best friend M, a Greek woman, was 40 years old and single. She caught wind of my antics. Of course, instead of being disgusted, she wanted a piece of the action herself. I met the older woman, and she was hot for me all right, but nothing ever came of it.
I always laugh whenever I hear people (especially women) say how much women hate womanizers. That’s not been my experience.
Even my Mom, a deeply traditional woman born in the 1930’s, chuckled and shook her head with a hint of admiration and incredulity when I told her of Steve’s incredible sexual accomplishments. How many men could pull off what he did? Truth is almost none. Even my own Mom found a tiny place in her heart for the Man with the Golden Sperm.
Later I told her how he was running around being a huge cocaine dealer, and she chuckled and shook her head again with that same look of incredulity and a hint of admiration. She’s never done an illegal drug in her life, and she doesn’t think much of dopers.
Recently I told her who he had landed on his feet and was selling real estate in Orange County. She stopped in her tracks and stared at me.
“So he never got caught. He never got caught from all that coke dealing.” She was chuckling again and shaking her head with that same look.
“Guess not,” I said. “He always seemed to land on his feet.”
There’s a moral to the story, Bob. Everyone talks about how evil womanizers are, but deep down inside, a lot of us love The Man with the Golden Sperm. How could we not?

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One thought on “The Man With the Golden Sperm”

  1. female mice will always prefer to mate with a male they’ve seen recently mating with some other female. they will even prefer this mouse-with-golden-sperm though the mouse is diseased.
    i know humans are not mice, in most ways not even CLOSE. but sexual behaviors are primitive and deep-seated. perhaps in this part of life we really are like the mice and the flatworms and the amoebas.

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