Don't Tell Me to Have a Fucking Nice Day

I am starting to really get tired of this. People are always telling to me have a nice day/night, but a lot of the time it seems like they are ordering me to have a nice day/night, or they say, “Have a nice day/night,” but it seems like they don’t think I am going to have a nice day/night.
Actually, most of the time, I am trying to get through the 24 hour period as best as I can, and most days, I spend a good part of the day trying very hard to work myself into a state where I am having a nice, or at least tolerable 24 hours. That means I spend a lot of time working on my headspace, anxiety level, thought processes, mood level, so that I stay in a reasonably decent place psychologically.
Sometimes I just utterly fail, and this winter there were some weeks where they sun would not come out and I was depressed. Even then, if I was going out, I would work my way out of the depression just to deal with people because if you go outside depressed, everyone notices and hates it and says unpleasant things to you.
Now here I am, I’ve been trying all day to work myself into an ok headspace, and some asshole just tells that I completely failed. That really makes me mad! At least give me credit for trying. They could say, “Keep on trying to have a nice day/night, sir. I know you are tying very hard. Keep up the good work, man.”
To be honest, I resent the very notion that I have a have a fucking nice day/night every day/night. Why can’t I have a bad day/night? Why can’t I have mediocre day/night? Why can’t I have a fair to middling day/night?
I was at the coffee shop the other day and I started talking to the server. I know the guy, but I don’t like him much because he isn’t all that nice, even though I always try extremely hard to be nice to him. I was telling him about my father being in the hospital in critical care, and he started walking away partway into the conversation. That’s rude right there, but whatever.
As I walked away, he ordered me to, “HAVE A NICE DAY”, like he always does, and he always says it like he doesn’t think I am going to have a good day. If he doesn’t think I am going to have a good day, why tell me to have one? If he thinks I’m going to have a bad day, why not smile and say, “Have a bad day, sir.” I could almost enjoy that. I would laugh at anyone who told me that.
Anyway, I turned around and glared at him. I’m not sure if he got it. Get this, I just told him my Dad’s in the hospital in critical condition and the asshole tells me to have a nice day. Well fuck you, man. Don’t tell me that. My Dad’s in the hospital, he might be dying, don’t tell me to have a good day, dammit. Say something else. Say, “Take care.” Say, “Regards, sir,” or “My regards, sir.”
A couple days later I just got back from the hospital and it was a long day, 7 PM or so. I guess I was thinking, walking down the aisle at the drugstore. This little shit of kid employee sees me lost in thoughts and says, “How are YOU today, sir?” He says it like he doesn’t think I’m in a very good mood. I wasn’t in a very good mood, and I decided to let him know.
He was moving away by now. I turned around, gave him a gigantic smile and said, “Horrible, just horrible!” I was almost laughing. He stopped in his tracks like, “Who dude, you don’t say that, man.” He was still looking at me with my jaw open. I decided to rub it in, “Awful, perfectly awful, just terrible, doing terrible here.” My grin was bigger than the aisle itself.
I came back a while later and this time he minded his own damned business and just looked at the floor as I walked by. Good boy, learned your lesson.
Quit telling me to have a fucking nice day, dammit. I’m trying my hardest to have one anyway, give me some credit.

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17 thoughts on “Don't Tell Me to Have a Fucking Nice Day”

  1. RL, Sorry to hear you’re depressed, man.
    But, remember, “have a nice day” and such expressions, are “phatic expressions,” as the linguists say. They’re not intended to convey meaning but, instead, to perform social concern, or something like that. In fact, most often people who say “have a nice day” are expected to perform something of the sort, because they’re employed as casheirs or receptionists, or whatever.
    Stressing out over the literal meaning of phatic expressions is a mistake, because they don’t mean the meaning. The person who utters “have a nice day” isn’t commanding you to have some kind of day, they’re doing something more like verbally shaking your hand.
    That said, I’m sorry that you’re depressed. I don’t come by here often but when I do I always learn something. So, thanks.

  2. Oh. I didn’t even realize I posted without even finishing reading the post. I’m sorry to hear about the context of your depression too–your dad’s condition. I see how an assholish “have a nice day” could rankle under that condition, especially.

  3. Well, I’m not really depressed. I just don’t like people who seem to be ordering me to have a good day. I have OCD and a lot of the time that’s what they are reacting to. I’m obsessing over something or other, probably something stupid. It’s like this idiotic never-ending round of doubts. They’re not necessarily “self-doubts” but they are often more like philosophical type questions. It’s hard to describe. You end up going round and round in your head like a dog chasing its tail. I think that’s what I’m doing when they tell me to have a nice day.
    Main thing is I don’t like how they say it! They always say it like I’m not happy or something. Am I happy? Who knows? I mean, I try to make it through every day. I’m an introvert and I don’t go around with a big smile on my face all the time, but I’m usually not depressed. Usually when someone says that to me, it’s like they think I’m not happy or something, and I usually think, “Why did they say that? I’m pretty happy. Or at least I’m not depressed.”
    Depressed isn’t really the right word at the moment but a few days ago I was down. I just kind of go up and down somewhat, but people who know me and know real depressed people say I never get the sort of depressed that they are used to seeing. They say I don’t go that far down.
    The one guy, I told him my Dad was in critical condition in the hospital and he told me to have a nice day! And he said it like he didn’t think I WAS having a nice day. That’s just rude. My father’s in the hospital, he could die anytime, don’t tell me to have a nice day. Say something else.

  4. Couldn’t he have said something else? I told him Dad was in critical condition, and he told me to “have a nice day”! And he didn’t say it all that nice, either. How about, “Regards, sir.”? How about, “Take care”? Isn’t that a little more appropriate? If your friend told you their father was in the hospital in critical condition, would you order them to “have a nice day”? What’s wrong with Americans anyway? Why must we have “have a nice day” 24-7, 365. I don’t get it. Life isn’t that simple. Why is it that if we don’t “have a nice day” for like, what, one day, we must be “depressed”? Life ain’t that simple man.
    Honestly, I am not even depressed at the moment really. It’s just kind of a difficult time is all.

  5. Robert, I’m sorry. I diden’t read the whole post. You can del my post above. Stupid me!
    Sorry to hear about your dad.

  6. first off, sorry to hear about your dad. i work at this coffee shop and you invited me to check out your blog. just gotta say something in defense of this guy that pissed you off. we work for stupid corporate assholes who know nothing about living in real life. they have this wacked idea about what customer service is and they expect us to deliver it to each and every customer. they even go so far as to make our supervisors and managers spy on us to make sure we are doing this, yes they actually lurk around the store and play stupid games with us, sending us on wild goose chases to see if we are greeting and helping customers, if not we get threatened with our job. we are expected to offer this “customer service” to everyone, everytime no matter what our day is like, we are told to suck it up and offer the damn customer service. sometimes this ends up being a knee jerk reaction, you just say “have a nice day” out of fear that the spies are somewhere within earshot, hell, i probably say have a nice day in my sleep, i wouldnt be surprised if i do. i cant even go on my own personal shopping to say walmart or target without accidently offering to help people who look like they cant find something, its just robotic most of the time. lately i have not been offering the service they extpect of us, and i got sent to a “special class” in town for 5 hours of “training” to make sure i know my place. i am sorry to hear that you got the generic parting comment on such a lousy day, but maybe he was having a lousy day too. in a tourist trap town like we live in, we enjoy the regulars that come in, you being one of them! see you around and have a “fill in the blank” day!

  7. Hey it’s cool kornkitty. That guy didn’t make me mad at all. I think I like all you guys at that coffee shop in question, which I will not name.
    In this post, I was referring to another coffee shop guy who doesn’t like me and I don’t really like him, not the guy at your shop. This is in a totally different city, trust me. It’s a city about 40 miles away from your town.

  8. that is good to know, since we all like you too. sorry for assuming it was our guy. if the guy at the other shop does not like you, his loss. some people are just miserable and like to spread it around, it is up to us what we do with it when handed our way! see you around!

  9. oh, btw, i am here to check out a beheading!!! since you mentioned it last nite, and i am in a gruesome type mood today i thought i would go for it!! hehehe

  10. oh my god, i thought it would be like a quick chop and the head rolls away. i think that was life changing, i had no idea it was gonna take sooo long, i could not watch the whole thing, even the sound was unbearable. how in the world could someone do that to another??? i feel …..there are no words to express how i feel…..

  11. I agree i get sick of saying have a nice day when some people don’t even repsond, what i have learned is people teach you how to treat them.

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