I'm Still Figuring Things Out

I can’t believe that here I am, I’m 51 years old, and I’m still figuring out what ought really to be the most and obvious things about life. I had just an epiphany that finally tied together so many of the mysteries that never made any sense to me in life. Here it is:
Women love macho, masculine guys, alpha males, etc.
They dislike, hate, are annoyed with, detest, are irritated with, are exasperated with, are enraged with, are infuriated by, and are driven into ball-breaking, demonic, cackling, impotence-creating, hellacious, castrating, asking to be killed right now, bitches by passive guys, beta males, guys with no balls, not macho, guys not seen as masculine, macho, or androgynous types.
There really are no, or few, exceptions to this rule. There are some women who are not like this, but not many.
This is seen quite a bit less at the younger ages. Young women and girls often go for looks alone, and they swarm all over pretty boys, male model types, movie star types, whether they are macho or not. The sexual attraction of young females must for some reason be oriented more towards the male type – they are just attracted to good looking, hot guys. Sure, girls and young women like bad boys, but they’re much more likely than older women to go for androgynous pretty boy types and not complain too much.
At this age, females are competing for “the cutest guys” or “the hottest guys.” Nobody has any money at this stage, so if you’re poor or low income, it’s no loss for a guy.
Soon into the mid 20’s, everything changes, and it’s all about money, everything turns into money. You can be the best looking guy on the planet and if you don’t have a dime, it’s all worthless.
And women start to get much more into the macho types (Why?). Further, if a man doesn’t have much money, he’s definitely not much of a man, although macho guys keep doing well at least through their 20’s, even the ones that have no money and refuse to work, although it starts getting harder to keep up this gig.
Into the 30’s and 40’s, good looks are virtually worthless for a man. I’ve known guys who were about the best looking guys in town in their age range, but they had a low income, and they didn’t have a date for years, plus it seemed like women had no interest in them whatsoever.
Could you imagine a similar thing with the best looking woman in town? Suppose there was a 35 year old woman in town who was about the hottest 35 year old around. Only problem was she had a low income.
How many guys do you think would be bothered by that? Every guy in town would be after her. Have you ever heard of a guy turning down a hot babe because she doesn’t have any money? A woman doesn’t need money. All she needs is looks and then she can work on her back as long as she is young enough to get away with it.
No straight man can pull this off, although in the gay community men do. There are very good looking gay men, who, just like beautiful women, don’t really have to work, and can just make money by working on their backs and hooking up with as wealthy of men as they can find as long as their looks hold out.
I always chuckle when feminists complain that women can’t get jobs. Admittedly, this can be a problem for many women, but if a woman is beautiful enough and young enough, she can become very wealthy just by attaching herself to moneyed males as they come along.
She never has to work a day in her life as long as the looks hold out. Men are perfectly willing to support beautiful women and won’t even demand that they work one day out of the year, as long as they are getting enough sex out of the deal.
I wonder if older women ever get over it, and I’m not sure if they do.
This has cleared up quite a few things for me. I always wondered why women aren’t more turned on by brains. Why don’t women see the smartest guy in town and (assuming he had some other decent qualities) think, “Oh man, do I want to fuck that guy! He’s a genius, damn, I so want him, right now!”?
Women often say that they love a smart guy, but I think it’s crap. I’m convinced that hardly any women are turned on by brains. I mean, you go to the beach, and do you see all the beach bunnies looking for the brainiest guy? Come on.
The truth is that brains, and the things that we achieve with our brains, are worthless to a female simply because intellectual skills and intellectual achievements are not a masculine thing. Sure, women heap praise on these guys, but it doesn’t make them horny. It’s actually the opposite. Sexually, it’s probably a massive turnoff.
This is why women hate depressed men so much. I don’t see how depressed guys can even get a woman. It’s beyond me. I have a friend who has suffered depression much of his life and he’s never even had a date. He’s smart as Hell and he’s not bad looking. No woman wants to take care of a man.
This is why males cover up their depression with drinking, drugs, gambling, crime, anger or whatever. Women bitch about this forever, and they are furious that we won’t cry, but there are good reasons for this. Most of us males have been sad, or cried, or were depressed when we were young. We got punished for this in various ways, sure by other males, but you better believe by females too. Most of us wised up quick and knocked it off in one way or another.
I went through a phase of my life when I was depressed. I kept working full-time anyway, but I was sad. At times, I would be fighting off tears during the workday – the tears were just welling up in my eyes, but I wasn’t actually crying, I was just fighting it off. Well, I got treated pretty bad for acting like that, but the worst contempt and hatred came from women of all ages, especially Hispanic women.
Damn right we mask our depression, ladies. And you women are one of the main reasons we do it. Even if we’re not that depressed, women don’t sympathize. Men usually don’t either, but a man of any age telling a woman of any age that he’s depressed, even mildly, is pretty deadly. The conversation goes cold as stone real quick, and there’s not a trace of sympathy in their eyes. “You fucking pussy, you’re depressed. How I hate you for this, you fucking fag.” This is what she’s thinking.
Depression is nothing for a woman because most guys will go for a depressed woman if she’s good looking enough. We figure most women are more or less prone to depression anyway, so it goes with the territory.
Similarly, neurosis must be an incredible burden for a male. I don’t see how neurotic guys can possibly have healthy relationships with females, and I’ve had some problems myself. No matter what’s going on, she’s always stamping her foot impatiently hoping he’ll get his shit together, knock this neurotic bullshit off, and quit being such a puss and a wimp.
Face it, neurosis is pussy, wimpy behavior. It’s the polar opposite of macho. I’m convinced many neurotic guys really can’t help it, but it makes sense that their relationships are Hell.
I talk to a lot of guys with OCD on here because I’ve written some articles on the subject. They contact me because they have some OCD worries and they want some help from me in dealing with these anxieties and fears, so I end up talking to a lot of these folks.
It’s quite common that OCD guys are having some really crappy relationships with women. In particular, what you often see is the situation where the woman is openly going out with another guy right in front of the OCD guy, complaining about what an asshole the new guy is (because he’s alpha and that’s what attracted her), and pretty much waving the new guy in front of the OCD guy’s face.
The OCD guy is calling her up and she’s hanging up on him, telling him she’s busy, refusing to call him back, saying she has a date, or calling the new guy into the room and talking to him when she’s on the phone with the OCD guy. This is about the most evil, asking to get murdered, behavior that women do. I can’t even believe that they do it, except that I’ve seen it over and over.
Yep, if a woman thinks you are not masculine enough, one of the ways she is going to rub it in your face is by going out and finding some macho guy and more or less fucking him right in front of your very face. That’s about the ultimate in cuckoldry. And yeah, women who do that are asking to get murdered. You can quote me on that too.
Why is she doing this? Her contempt for this guy’s wimpiness is so huge and her rage for his lack of masculinity is so great that she is going to display this contempt by basically fucking another guy right of him, mocking him, and shrieking, “What are you going to do about it, pussy?”, all the while cackling diabolically. When I say that women are sometimes sheer evil, this is what I mean.
What wraps this all together is the mystery of why women are always running around with complete assholes. As in guys who  commonly and typically do things to women that I would never do in a million years. Meanwhile, millions of nice guys, often very handsome, are utterly dateless. Nice guys are wimps, and though you can be nice and macho and get away with it, you can’t be nice and not macho. Massive fail.
Assholes may be assholes, but they are macho. She’s not attracted to him because he’s a prick; she’s attracted to him because he’s macho. The asshole part more or less goes with the macho part, at least at lot of the time.
This is why women are endlessly ending up in abusive relationships with guys who emotionally abuse them, beat them, rape them, steal their money, steal their stuff, run up their credit cards, cheat on them, keep them prisoners in the home, try to force sex on them when they don’t want it, and just generally make their lives Hell.
You often hear that idiot females are entangled in relationships with guys like this – even ones who beat them – that they can’t get out of. They keep going back to the guys.  He keeps making up to her, promising to be good, buying her gifts, and sometimes “he’s just so sweet”. And then he beats her again. I’ve seen women go back to these guys over and over.
Hispanic women in particular seem to pick real losers. It’s not unusual to be a customer in a nice establishment and see some younger Hispanic guy with tattoos all over him who looks like he just got out of prison. You think, “What’s this barrio scumbag maggot doing here?” Then you see this really nice Hispanic woman who works there walk over to him. Yeah. It’s her boyfriend.
At the really low class level, like in my neighborhood, the Black woman upstairs and the Hispanic woman next to her had regular wild, screaming fistfights and domestic abuse scenes with their boyfriends. Ok, so dump his sorry ass? Nope. They stayed with them. Both of these guys were great big super macho types. One was an ex gang member and the other was a football player. And all these nice guys don’t have dates.
Sometimes…I think women deserve to get beaten. There are plenty of nice guys out there who would never lay a hand on her in 50 years, but she won’t touch them because she thinks they’re pussies. So she goes for the macho types, and of course they knock her around. And she keeps going back to him, and he keeps whacking her. I’m not sure if these guys ever cut it out.
Excuse me? You deserve it!
There’s a part of me who thinks that this behavior is pretty maladaptive for females. It’s clearly a legacy of our genetic past, and obviously we are genetically driven to act this way. But in humans, we have consciousness and the ability to analyze and understand our primitive instincts, so we are not sworn to them and can easily blow them off. Repression and sublimation are just two ways, transcendence is better.
There’s a rapist, killer and wife-beater in most men, including surely me, but most of us never act on it. Despite our obvious ability to transcend our baser instincts, we seem doomed to be as much creatures of instinct as these dogs and cats that run around our houses.
I don’t get it.
I’ll write some more on this later.

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17 thoughts on “I'm Still Figuring Things Out”

  1. There are clear evolutionary reason why women are attracted to wealthy and/or powerful men. Women are highly invested into their offspring, and there are limits to how many children a woman can have in her lifetime. This contrasts men who can have as many as possible (think Ghengis Kahn, etc.). So women get to choose–not vice versa. Kevin MacDonald recently wrote about this and touched on these facts.
    Over and out,
    Shawn (formerly Scott)

  2. “There’s a part of me who thinks that this behavior is pretty maladaptive for females.”
    Perhaps it’s only maladaptive in refined, passive, ‘advanced’ societies… Japan, Scandinavia.. (not America). Being aggressive towards woman goes hand-in-hand with being aggressive generally, which is how you get ahead in most societies. Given the dynamic, why would a women want to be with a man who is not aggressive, and therefore is a loser in life? (This assumption may not be true, but it would intuitively make sense to a woman because of humanity’s recent brutish past). It’s worth a few black-eyes if you end up with the top dog.

  3. I lolled.
    @Robert Lindsay: I have a question for you: What do you think is the rationale of civil marriage, and do you think that it is related to the subject you discuss in your post?

  4. Once I was with a Mexican girl. We were having a conversation that was not going my way, when a couple of assholes showed up. I wanted fight them, and grabbed my pistol just in case they had one. The girl freaked. “You are bad man, Only bad men have guns take me home” When I got her home she was horny as hell.
    I tell women right up front I’m a southern bigot (actually I view myself more as an unreconstructed southerner, but this requires explanation). I belabor the point. I tell them that women have no business voting. They are amazingly unfazed by this. I am a horrible misogynist, who only likes to have sex with them and let them wait on me.
    Never once have I seen any of these attributes desired in singles profiles. My conclusion is that chicks don’t have a clue what they want, so there is no reason to even listen to them, but you have to fuck them good and regular or your yesterdays news.

  5. Robert, are you at all familiar with the “seduction community” literature? There’s a vast subculture of guys who’ve basically turned picking up girls and getting them into bed into a science. I’ve tried enough of it out to verify that the stuff definitely works (although like anything these are skills that take time and effort to be developed, it’s not like you read a book and instantaneously become a huge player).
    I agree with a lot of what you write. It’s amazing how much girls are turned on by just sheer, raw aggressivity. As far as money though, I think money is mainly an issue for securing long-term relationships and marriage with a girl, but as far as being a player and having a lot of one-night stands I think the broke, macho bad-boy stands a better chance.

  6. Hi Reader. Yes, I have been reading a lot of this seduction community stuff lately, and it’s quite interesting, though it really turns me off. To cut to the chase, I was a legendary womanizer in my youth who was almost literally drowning in a sea of women, with the attendant admiration of males and females that goes along with that.
    That’s no longer the case, but early success has marked me for life, and now I am a 51 yr old guy who struts around like he is King of the World. I’ve been told that some people think that is totally ridiculous, but I don’t care.
    Why? Because of the wild sexual success of my youth. The fact that it hasn’t been replicated even slightly in probably 20 years is irrelevant. This shows you how early success marks a man for life. There is a guy on the Net who says that once a guy has a truly beautiful and desirable woman on his arm, he’s in for life in a sense. Even in middle age, that one brief shining moment still lives with him. I agree with that, and live it.
    The seduction literature is interesting, but it’s all about being an asshole. I’m not into that. I did great being an androgynous, pretty boy, male model type classic nice guy, and that’s what I’m into. In my 50’s, the alpha males are few anymore, and dominance games are out. Most guys are married, the desirable women our age are few, and most of the young women don’t want us old guys. But most middle aged people are really nice, and the sexual competition thing is almost over. It’s boring, but it’s friendly.
    Note that at my age probably 20-25% of males are hardcore impotent and a lot of middle aged females have probably given up sex.
    But as younger man, my sex drive was 24-7 and then some, so that’s who I’m writing for. There are indeed guys who play the no money game through the 20’s and into the 30’s, but it gets harder and harder. Women get more and more into money as they get older, and they also get more and more into macho guys.
    I know women in their fucking 50’s who are still going for complete losers with no money and nothing going. They have flat out told me that they like “bad boys” and think nice guys are all wimps. They’re getting fucked over by assholes, but that’s what they want. Some women never seem to learn.
    I’m leader of an Internet group that’s full of people who got romance scammed. Many of the women fell for Black guys who are for all intents and purposes criminals. They have nearly stolen every last dime from these dumb broads, but they keep coming back for more. I assume there is some macho sexual issue at work here as far as why these women are in love with Black criminals who are stealing everything they have.
    Some are made into near prisoners in their home by these Blacks, and they can’t stop crying, but I guess that big Black cock makes it all good at the end of the day? I’m not an expert, but there has to be some reason for the self-defeatism and the masochism.

  7. I don’t see how Bob can wax eloquent or at least in detail about this subject w/o dealing with the “kids” factor. It almost makes me suspect he hasn’t had a relationship with a woman with pre-existing children fathered by another man (or him for that matter). The often problematic factors for both genders is worth a lengthy essay in itself. You could start anywhere—say with women who either take themselves off the market completely or who re-shape/limit their choices dramatically and by or by not their own volition.
    Then analyse how the (possible/probable) complications affect the male suitor’s attitudes.
    But before you deal with kids, I’m interested in this:
    <“once a guy has a truly beautiful and desirable woman on his arm, he’s in for life in a sense. Even in middle age, that one brief shining moment still lives with him. I agree with that, and live it.
    Does this effect also have the effect of making you aware the random odds are long of meeting and keeping a woman who is both beautiful,
    great in bed, (the former can be the case w/o the latter) and otherwise compatible? If so, does that dampen you enthusiasm for the chase, or are you consciously willing to settle for somewhat less?

  8. BTW, I have met goodlooking men who had a beautiful sexy wife, divorced
    of their own volition,or hers and gone on to have satisfying long-term relationships,marriages with markedly less attractive mates. Naturally, I never have asked them intimate questions but I have listened, and for one scenario among many, it is possible for a sexy wife to make a formerly confident man shy away from similar women if the relationship turns out debilitating.

  9. It almost makes me suspect he hasn’t had a relationship with a woman with pre-existing children fathered by another man (or him for that matter).
    I have, but those were not deep relationships where I was seeing her all the time, so the kid was not that important. I have not had an LTR with a woman with kids, and I have never made any of my own that I ever heard about, nor have I created any aborted babies. I did have one LTR with a woman with kids, but she was married and we were meeting on the side, so the kids never entered into it.
    It is possible for a sexy wife to make a formerly confident man shy away from similar women if the relationship turns out debilitating.
    Yes but I am not sensitive. These guys have been damaged by these beautiful women. I haven’t been, though I should have been by all rights. By my early 30’s, I had already slept with close to 100 women and dated over 150 women. And yes, many of them were attractive to beautiful, depending on your standards. And sure, many of them were pretty mean or cruel to me at times and they all pretty much left me. Some guys are not that oriented towards looks, but I am.
    Does this effect also have the effect of making you aware the random odds are long of meeting and keeping a woman who is both beautiful, great in bed, (the former can be the case w/o the latter) and otherwise compatible? If so, does that dampen you enthusiasm for the chase, or are you consciously willing to settle for somewhat less?
    What I meant by “in for life” is that he will have a confidence about him that will never go away. Now you bring up some cases where this is not the case. Fine, but not in my case. At 51, I don’t care so much about the great in bed part anymore. Actually, the odds of meeting and even dating a good looking woman are not that long.
    The thing is, once you go out into the world with a “reasonable attitude” as you put it, that the odds are long of a hottie who’s great in bed (at my age, the requirement would be if she even likes it at all) and compatible are long, that is, lower your standards, idiot, well. You don’t go out into the world with a “down to Earth” attitude. You go out into the world with an “I can have it all” attitude. At least I do. But I’m not into reality or pragmatism. I’m into living a fantasy life.
    The problem is that once you’ve dated many good looking or beautiful women, you feel that that’s all you like. Plus you feel that’s what you deserve. You’re like, I got them in the past, why not now? It’s a fun attitude, but you also might have to go a long time without a date as you age and don’t have the ability to get these women like you could when you were young.
    You will go out with women who are not, but not so often. So, yeah, it kind of “spoils you”, but it feels good, because even if it’s been a year since your last date, you say that’s due to your high standards.
    But at this point, I’ll settle for less in the way of looks, of course. I mean, at my age, excuse me, neither we men nor the women look very good anymore. Everyone’s looks are going hard. So you have to take that into consideration. I mean, at my age, I look around at the girlfriends and wives of most guys my age, and they don’t look so great. The guys themselves don’t either. No one does anymore.
    But who doesn’t want a young and beautiful woman? Guys my age get called child molesters and perverts for still looking at young women, but fuck it. Why not? Young women are beautiful and it’s not sick or evil to want one. OTOH, I realize that most young women don’t want to have anything to do with most of us.

  10. “intellectual skills and intellectual achievements are not a masculine thing.”
    That isn’t at all true. Science, with its emphasis on rationality, inventiveness, and practicality, is very masculine.
    You are referring to the culture of anti-intellectualism which runs deep within American society – in other countries it is worse, but in some it is far better.
    Also, there has never really been female geniuses if you think about it. Nearly ALL major discoveries, inventions, and systems of knowledge have been made by men – either individual men or teams of men. For instance, just a few examples (there are many, many more):
    Who designed and built the home or apartment you inhabit right now, along with nearly all of the furnishings and appliances found therein?
    Who mines the coal or invented the nuclear plant which gives you electricity? Who runs these electrical plants daily?
    Who fixes your water pipes or toilet when they break? (hell, who built the water treatment plants which supply people with clean, disease-free water on a daily basis? – who invented and built modern water systems?)
    Who trucks/boats/flies the food you eat around the country or world at all hours of the night and day — actually, who grows and/or raises the vast bulk of your food?
    Who designed and built the automobiles, buses, bicycles, airplanes, subways, railroads, bridges, and roads you use for transportation?
    Who protects you from criminals and keeps hardcore thugs jailed and away from further harming society? Who protects you from being invaded, pillaged, and raped by other countries or peoples?
    Who unlocked the long-held secrets of human anatomy and is likely to perform the surgery which will save your life when and if you need it?
    Who systematized language, invented books and even paper, and created the printing press (and probably even the written word, too)?
    Who created the internet (not to mention computers and the vast majority of software) which you use all of the time? Who invented telephones/cellphones and all other forms of advanced communication technology?
    Who created satellites, space probes (which have gone far beyond Pluto now), space ships, and even landed humanity on the moon?
    Who has done more in history to advance science, medicine, art, and basically ALL other areas of human knowledge? Men or women?
    MEN. Thus knowledge, intelligence, and know-how are all masculine traits.

  11. OJC – I agree with almost all of what you just wrote, however, what I’m saying is that it’s not seen as masculine here in the US.
    I’m also saying that it seems like when a woman hears a guy is a big brain, or a super intellectual, or he’s achieving some good intellectual things – well, she might be like, “Wow, that’s really great.” Well, that’s if you’re lucky. Most of the time they’re like, “So fucking what!!” Most women are not impressed by this stuff at all, and in that they are, it definitely does NOT make them want to fuck you. Women don’t want to fuck you for your brains or for your great intellectual achievements. Actually, I think it’s a big turnoff to them and it makes them NOT want to fuck you.
    So females, I think, at core, really are anti-intellectual. In the US, they are probably a lot worse at this even then the men are.

  12. Soon into the mid 20’s, everything changes, and it’s all about money, everything turns into money. You can be the best looking guy on the planet and if you don’t have a dime, it’s all worthless.

    But females begin to deteriorate in attractiveness around this time. Older women simply cannot compete with nubile females in adolescence.

  13. Interesting answer, but I wonder about the intricacies…like does the man who formerly had a babe for years, who now has a slightly above average chick, commonly get as turned on by her or does he almost inevitably, let’s say, fantasize about the past or others at pertinent moments?
    Many intricacies…Is there a type of man who is turned on by mannerisms-out of the sack- which, let’s say, could make a C + woman ..doable…a strong B (or better?) whereas other men are looks only?
    Can a plump woman who gives good….really steal a husband away from a much better looking lady who can’t or declines?
    If a guy dates three women who are svelte and less affectionate then meets one who is buxom and hyper-affectionate, can that create a virtual ineradicable inclination in him as per his choices?

  14. Another angle: which gender, if either, has a larger tendency to weigh down with-any kind of- baggage related to previous failed relationships, thru their e.g.thirties and forties? Baggage which negatively, even decisively in cases, affects their inclination for “the Chase?”
    We hear that biologically women are capable of intense sexual reaction longer than men and hence should partner with younger men but too often won’t, due to “social” proscription…or
    prioritizing economic security, status, etc.
    Yet we also hear that younger men biologically want peers—younger women, which kind of offsets the former advice anyway.
    But that’s (comparative biological ability to enjoy sex longer) everything else being equal.
    Does being e.g. the prime party rearing kids after divorce offset the will to place themselves in
    positions to BE more intense participants in sex, or is the ex husband just as likely to have
    baggage weighing him down? (We also hear that women grow bitter more quickly than men.)
    On average, if a woman goes to a popular singles dance at 50….is she really as “available” as the average 50 year old man at that same dance?…(Or is she,comparatively speaking, more likely to be going thru the motions.)

  15. I have to admit I found this post hilarious.
    Why?
    Because it’s so true!
    Not only are submissive men (pussies) less likely to get dates and sex because they are less aggressive in creating and pursuing those opportunities, but it is also completely natural for women to reject this kind of man!
    There is a popular misconception that people like Bill Gates were “nerds” who achieved great success because they never got a date. The truth is that successful entrepreneurs are also successful daters, because of their aggressive nature. These men put their own interests first, they are not afraid to fail, and they have no qualms about doing “whatever it takes” to get what they want. A woman who hitches her wagon to a complacent, virtuous man is dooming herself to a life of mediocrity.
    It is a uniquely modern, and completely destructive idea that women are looking for the “sensitive” or “progressive” man. Sure, a woman will settle for this if she fails to wrangle the alpha male stud. Unfortunately we are teaching many of our intelligent young men that humility and meekness are virtues. Somewhere along the line, we forgot that the Beatitudes were meant to tell the LOSERS in life that they will be rewarded in heaven. We may observe how men in relationships are often passive and submissive, but that is because their women have either settled for or pussy-whipped them. There is no greater turn-on for a woman than a man who is sweet with her but macho and arrogant to everyone else.
    Excuse me for being confrontational, but this is why socialism can never work. Even if men could be convinced that everyone’s contribution is equally valuable, women will always seek out those who strive to be better than everyone else. Competition for females leads to competition among males, and it’s the fundamental impetus for the behavior of nearly every mammalian species.

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