Prior to the latest Gaza War, one of the worst threats facing the Jewish state today was a tribe of Islamo-Nazi super-chickens being raised in Gaza by a suicidal chicken death cult to be suicide chickens and kill every single Jew in Israel. According to the Chicken’s Founding Charter, “not one Jew will be left in Israel.”
The chickens had recently taken over Gaza in a chicken coup (hehe), killing many moderate chickens in the process and instituting a chicken dictatorship over other animals. Lately, the chickens had been launching chicken poop rockets at Israel on a daily basis.
Although there were no casualties, the chicken poop launched at Sderot caused many cases of shock in the Israelis living near the Chicken Terrorist Haven of Gaza. Further, it is said that two Jews, one 85 and the other 87, forgot to take their heart meds and nearly had fatal heart attacks when the chicken shit was really flying over southwest Israel.
The chickens refuse to accept any past agreements with Israel and refuse to recognize the Jewish state, since it grants no rights to chickens. Further, the chickens say that Jews stole the land where they used to strut and fluff their feathers.
The chickens have also refused to renounce violence, and the roosters have been fighting a lot lately. There aren’t any Jewish chickens around to kill, so they turn on each other in a fratricidal chicken war in Gaza.
Israel has blockaded the chickens, putting them on a starvation diet and making for some awfully slim boneless fryers.
One of the great things about Israel is the US gets to use it as a testing ground for new weapons. Chickens, unlike humans, have proven impervious to most of the techniques yet developed by “USreal” to kill them. However, in the latest Gaza War, Israel used new weapons called “chicken hawks” to decimate the chickens. From the article:
Samir Sawafiri pointed at several dozen hungry chickens scavenging for food between the crushed bodies of nearly 65,000 other birds strewn across a destroyed farm in Zeitoun in Gaza City.
“They are all that is left and I have nowhere to put them,” he said. The poultry farms around Zeitoun used to be the Gaza Strip’s main provider of eggs, according to Oxfam. Little but twisted metal and crumbling concrete now remains of the poor suburb on the eastern outskirts of Gaza, one of the areas hit hardest during the war.
“I evacuated on January 9,” Mr Sawafiri said. “Three days later, on January 12, tanks came with bulldozers and leveled the fields. They wanted to spoil the economy – that is the only answer. There is no justification for what they did.”
In the war, at least 65,000 Palestinian terrorist jihadi chickens were killed by the IDF in just this one raid. All of the chicken counterattacks killed only 13 Israeli birds. Operation Plucked Chicken was declared a success by Ehud Olmert, though there were worries that the chickens would rebuild their coops and try to re-arm to fight another day.
The questions that remains is why the chickens turned into anti-Semites. It seems that not only have the Jews been hated forever by all other humans, but they have also been hated by most other animals, not just humans. It was a matter of time before Euro-weenies, the Far Left and radical Islam roused the chickens to join in the world’s oldest sport, hatred of and war against the Jews.