Fox in the Henhouse

You’ve all heard the stories.  A predator gets into a place where there are caged domestic animals, typically fowl, and goes berserk, killing all of them. And typically not even eating one. It’s the non-human equivalent of a serial killer. There’s a little Ted Bundy in every bobcat.
Here in the mountains, we had a similar case a decade or so ago. A bobcat got into the neighbor’s yard and killed every one of his ducks. The owner went outside and found a bobcat asleep in his yard at 5 AM in a fenced-in area full of dead ducks. Commit mass murder, then sleep it off. What the Hell, why not? Serial killing is pretty tiring, physically and emotionally.
Enough of the anecdotes. So why do they do it? People are dying to know.
Via an incredibly obscure website called The Alyth Voice, p. 7 “Foxy Business”, our curiosity is sated. What’s The Alyth Voice? Why, it’s only the local bimonthly scribblesheet of some podunk town in Scotland called Alyth in some place called Perthshire.
There are two theories.
First is pure instinct. Foxes and bobcats are smarter than Fido and Fluffy, the domesticated versions, but that ain’t saying much. They’re still emotional robots with stunted frontal lobes, like most of the people in our inner cities. The fox gets into the henhouse, sees all the hens racing around screeching in terror, and he goes into kill mode. A terrified rooster racing away =  kill. Terrified cries of chicks = destroy. Simple equations.  The predator has no choice but to commit mass homicide.
Another more civilized theory says that the predator is a forward-thinking beast, unlike our inner city residents. Sure, he kills way more than he eats, but he only kills to eat, not for kicks like Boston Strangler. He really does intend to come back and chow down all those dead chickens sometime. When? Oh, later.
Yeah right. I go with Theory #1.
Think of it in human terms. Pretend you’re in a porno movie,  except it’s happening in r/l meatspace. You’re been kidnapped and locked in a house full of gorgeous 18 year old females having a mass birthday party. They’re all naked and masturbating, screaming, “Fuck Me!” And they won’t even get jealous if you fuck the other ones. Instead they’ll just yell, “Hurry up and get over here you bastard!”
Your girlfriend/wife is waiting, and you promised to call her, plus you took a vow of fidelity. You can strip of all of your clothes, run around to each of the 10 nubiles, stick your dick in each one for a bit assuming you don’t hair-trigger off, and actually get away with it before you die. It’s almost illegal, but not quite. It’s not serial homicide, but it’s almost as fun.
What do you do? Flashback to Sunday school and race out the door to the nearest payphone and call your girlfriend? Forget it. Like the fox in a henhouse, the forebrain shuts down, you go into limbic mode, and wallow in the temporarily eternal present.
I know it’s a weird analogy, but think about it.

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3 thoughts on “Fox in the Henhouse”

  1. Two summers ago I was outside grilling some meat and drinking beer in a camp site. Three meter away a small animal came walking by. I thought it was a cat so I called for it Cissy cissy …
    It was a young fox. He tried to napp my food and I gave the fox something to eat. This was at night o:30 or something like that. Some days later he came around 23:00. Same thing but this time he came into my trailer and took food from my hand. He actually bit my finger. Might be some food there too … better testing that aswell.
    I had some meat gone bad and took it out of the freezer and forgot about it and the fox diden’t show up for some days. This is in the summer and the fox shows up and I rememberd the bad meat. If I say odour it don’t fit the desciption. The meat was starting to crawl by it self.
    The fox just loved it. That was Jummy Jummy food to him. These are predators and they eat rutten meat. I think this: Kill it all! Comes from this, you kill all you can get and if it gets really rutten, all the better.
    It was funny, the fox started to show up at around 21:00 and there was a lot of people in the camp site, taking pictures. He even followed me when I called on him. People were astonished by this.
    No, no jews here 9D))) Wait, come to think of it, the fox had gall, just like some jews have. Give me a needle and you can be sure I can find a little jew somewhere 9o))))

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